I'd Rather Not Stand

Writers: Chelle, Eimi
Date Posted: 7th February 2012

Characters: Rhosyn, Sabonus
Description: Rhosyn and Sabonus discuss his decision to leave candidacy.
Location: River Bluff Weyr
Date: month 5, day 11 of Turn 6
Notes: Mentioned: Uetia, Tamah, Solieira, R'sedel

It was her habit to check in with the candidates every so often. Now
that the hatching was over, it would be a bit of time before the next
flight. Of course some of them might be feeling some disappointment
so Rhosyn thought it would be good to have a chat. Sabonus was first
on her list.

"Ma'am, you asked to see me?" Sabonus asked, rather curious as to the
reason as he ducked his head in her office door. It had been a rather
unexpected summons.

"Aye, Sabonus, just wanted to see how things were going," she answered
easily. Rhosyn didn't know him as well as some of the others. Perhaps it
was time to end that.

That was rather nice of her to take the time, he thought. "It's going
great, Weyrwoman. Thank you for asking."

"Good. It'll be some time before another flight but I'm sure that you'll
make a good rider." She smiled, trying to gauge if he was heartbroken or
some other such thing.

"But..." Did she not know? "I'm very sorry, you must not have gotten
the hidework for it. I have ended my Candidacy after the last
Hatching."

A look of confusion passed across her face. "Why did you do that hm?"

"Well, I gave it two tries, ma'am, and now I think it's time to go back
to my craft." He had given it a good shot, he thought. It made no
sense to waste more time on it.

"You know Sabonus, sometimes people stand for turns before their dragon
finds them. Do you really want to give up that quick? Is it not important
to you, to be a rider?" Rhosyn hadn't been one of those who had to stand
for very long, but she had seen so many of them. At the end, though,
when they came away with their dragon, it had been worth it.

"No, not really," he said, a hint of apology in his tone. "If anything,
staying on land this long has just shown me how much I belong at sea.
It's in my blood."

"Is that okay with Uetia then?" Rhosyn didn't know everything but she
did know some things. If he truly didn't want to stand, she wouldn't
make him. They would find other candidates. It was hard for her to
understand why someone would choose another life, though.

"We both come from Seacrafter families. She doesn't like the idea of
separation, and neither do I, but, yes, it's okay." It would not be
easy, they both knew, but they had discussed it and she understood.
"And I won't be taking a permanent assignment. I'll help out here at
the Weyr and take a temporary assignment now and again."

"What if...what if you worked with Tamah? He needs help. And that way,
if there was another hatching, you'd be here anyway. Just in case you
changed your mind." Thinking about that, Rhosyn considered the
possibilities. It was true, the harbormaster did need an apprentice or
someone to help him. That would keep Sabonus close.

"I will be working on ships in the docks under Tamah. That's the plan,
anyway. And then when there comes in a ship in need of a carpenter
temporarily, a trip or two maybe, I will be temporarily assigned to it.
When my run is done, I'll come back to Uetia and work on the docks
again." He'd get his time at sea, but he wouldn't be gone most of the
Turn like so many seacrafters would be. "But, ma'am, I'm sorry, I have
no intention of Standing again. I don't _want_ a dragon. The sea is
all I need."

"If you didn't want a dragon, why did you stand in the first place?"
That was an interesting question and Rhosyn couldn't wait to hear the
answer.

It was a fair enough question, he supposed. "I didn't want to at first,
but R'sedel was very persistent, and persuasive. He said if I didn't
try, I'd probably look back at it one day and wonder what might have
happened if I had. And it got me to thinking, how would I know if I
wanted a dragon or not if I didn't at least give it a try. I did that,
and now I know. I'm grateful for all the Weyr has given me. I've made
many friends and met Uetia. That in itself made it all worth it. But I
will have no regrets, ma'am."

"What if we needed a few extra bodies next time? If I asked, would
you come?" Her eyes watched his hands. He had hands that were used
to work. That was good for a rider. Riders had to be used to work. It
also crossed her mind that she needed to thank R'sedel for this.

"Ma'am, we were taught as Candidates that when you Stand on the Sands,
you are to project thoughts of love and acceptance to the Hatchlings.
You have to _want_ to Impress, for no one ever Impresses if the desire
is not there. My body would be of no use to you on the Sands because my
heart is not in it. I would not waste your time, or mine." He had done
his duty to the Weyr. Sabonus was determined, even faced with the
Weyrwoman herself, to live the life that would make him happy.

She didn't want him out there if he didn't want it, either, but she had
to be sure. And if there ever was a regret, it would be his own. "Very
well, so you're refusing ever to Stand again then, just so I have it
right?" There would be no going back then in her mind.

"Yes, ma'am, that is correct." It was better to have that point
completely clear.

"Very well, Sabonus. Have you returned all of your knots? And your quarters
have been cleared out in the barracks?" She made a few notes on her list
to go over with Solieira later.

"Yes ma'am, and the robes, too. I am living with Uetia until the Harbor
Master assigns me quarters of my own down by the docks." Sabonus had
made sure to tie up all loose ends as quickly as possible. He hated
leaving things for later.

"As you wish then. I can't think of anything else, though I'm sure
you'll be a help to Tamah." Her eyes rested on the young man, wondering
again why people were motivated to do such things, though she hadn't
really meant to impress herself and look what had happened.

Last updated on the February 12th 2012

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I'd Rather Not Stand