Letting Go

Writers: Len, Chelle
Date Posted: 28th August 2011

Characters: E'rae, A'shel
Description: E're has to deal with a panicked Angshel when Orlaith Rises
Location: River Bluff Weyr
Date: month 3, day 2 of Turn 6
Notes: Mentioned: Rhosyn, Y'gel

Angshel looked up, confused for a moment, before he turned back to the
task at hand, which was to deliver a package of herbs to one of the
injured greenriders who were in their weyr. He turned and walked up the
riverbank until he found the woman's home. He felt a small twinge
where he hadn't felt one in a long long time, not since that day in
the woods...

Brutally he pushed that thought away and focused on the job at hand.
The little green was sunning herself outside when he came up to her.
Jannalli, her rider, was standing beside her, looking back over to the
bowl that was hidden by the tree line. She was eying him like a juicy
steak.

Holding out the herbs before him, he stammered, "Here's the medicine
Journeyman K'laren's prescribed."

"The queen is Blooding her kill, boy, you'd better get yourself a lover."

Suddenly numb hands dropped the package at her feet as the boy turned
and fled. Where would he go? What should he do? This couldn't be
happening! He ran, stopped and then ran again, not sure where he was
going or what to do. His sobs stole the air he needed to get away with.

The bluerider had been carefully restringing his crossbow when the call
came. Knowing just what that meant, E'rae rose up and went walking towards
his weyr, only to bump into the young boy-again. Seeing the look in his eyes
and remembering why, he sighed. "What are you doing, kid?"

Angshel stopped suddenly at E'rae's feet. Sobbing so hard he couldn't
speak, the boy just pointed in the direction of the bowl. He had to
get away, now!

E'rae grabbed him and pulled him toward the tunnels. **Come now!**
he called to his blue.

As they came out into daylight and Orlaith's hulk could be seen over at
the feeding grounds, Leith touched down. E'rae dragged Angshel up and
strapped him in before they took off. He didn't bother with his own straps,
which was reckless, but there wasn't time. He fastened them as they flew
and then they went /between/.

Three breaths and they were out into the light of day. Interestingly enough,
E'rae had brought them to Garnet Valley territory, his home. Leith landed
near the river and the blue took a moment to come down from the feelings
they had just left.

Angshel, still caught up in confusion and sorrow, leaned over the
blue's ridges, crying. Try as he might, he couldn't get control of
his emotions. All the feelings he had savagely buried deep on that
fateful day--all the feelings that had led to his attack--had come out
again and he didn't know what to do. He was also aware that a
handsome man was pressed behind him and that only added to his
confusion.

E'rae let him have his time. Apparently the boy had been suppressing the
things he needed to deal with most and now they were surfacing at last.
Knowing just how important that was, he remained quiet before he moved
to dismount.

When he felt the rider shift and get off the dragon, Angshel sat up
and wiped the tears from his face. He managed to croak out, "thank
you sir," before unbuckling himself and, likewise, sliding down the
blue's shoulder. When his feet hit the ground, he leaned into Leith's
shoulder and began crying again.

"You're welcome. Whenever you're ready to talk, if you want to, that's
allright." Reaching into the carisak inside the harness' storage, he pulled
it out and dug into it for a blanket and water. E'rae travelled around a lot
so he was always ready. Spreading it out on the ground, he sat down on it
and drank slowly.

}:It will be okay little one. Do not cry:{ Leith didn't like crying.
It put the blue
ill at ease, which was why Werenn was the only child he was usually around.

Angshel hugged the blue's neck, grateful that he was concerned enough
to actually mindspeak to him. Wiping his face one more time, he
turned and faced E'rae.

"That day..in the woods." He sank down onto the blanket. "All we were
doing was having a kiss and a cuddle, more just exploring like boys
do." His eyes dropped down to study his hands, and his voice lowered
to a whisper. "We weren't doing anything wrong...well, nothing wrong
in the Weyr's eyes. But those boys...they caught me and said if I was
gagging for it, then they'd 'give it to me.' And they...they just
used the worst things..one boy had a whip and..." He started crying
again and resisted the urge to hide his face in shame.

"Sometimes bad things happen to good people. It doesn't make sense why
or when, but it happens. What you went through happens a lot these days.
Some people get through it and some don't. You've come a long way from
that day which shows your strength. Only when you accept it and move on
will you be able to really continue on with your life, though it may take more
time." E'rae spoke softly, but it was easy to hear him. He watched Angshel
at times and looked back to Leith, who was paying attention to a trundlebug
near his foreclaw.

Angshel nodded. "All this time I thought if I bottled up how I feel
about boys, then it'd be okay, y'know? I think I've been going around
blaming how I feel on what happened, like it was my fault. And
now..." He looked up to the skies. "I'm realizing you can't run and
hide from what you are." His chest felt like the tight band that had
been around it was breaking.

"No you can't. And it's not good to keep anything like that inside. It just
festers and festers until it turns you rotten or makes you blow up." E'rae
had made his peace that day on the Sands. He would never blame Leith.

The boy nodded and turned his attention to the blue. Spying the bug,
he picked it up and moved it to one side so it wouldn't get smashed by
accident. "Everything deserves a happy life, even a trundlebug."

"Actually, I would disagree with that. There is nothing deserving about life.
It is what you make it, but sometimes bad things happen to good people.
We just have to do the best we can with what we have." He shrugged,
thinking about the wings that had been lost at Dolphin Cove.

Anghsel dropped his head at that. He wanted his mother. "Do you
think the Flight's over yet? Y'gel's going to wonder where I went."

"Goldflights last longer than anything else, especially when it's the senior
queen. And I'm sure Y'gel is busy." E'rae smiled slightly, thinking of the older
rider. He didn't have much of a chance, but he kept trying anyway.

"I just hope he's not mad that I've gone." Angshel really didn't understand
gold Flights very well.

"He's not going to know that you're gone for a good long while and when he
does, I'm sure he won't care." E'rae nodded and looked up at the sky, pulling
his carisak open to produce some cheese and bread. "Want some?"

"Okay." He took the offered food and watched the sky.

The two of them waited out the flight then headed back to the Weyr. As Leith
banked, coming into view of River Bluff, the blue bugled. }:Nikornath
wins again!:{
**Still the same wingleader then. Good**

Last updated on the May 11th 2013

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Letting Go