I wish I'd never met you

Writers: Devin, Eimi, Suzee
Date Posted: 20th June 2011
Series: It takes Time to Love

Characters: U'kaiah, Tavia, L'rak
Description: Tavia is confronted by her former weyrmate
Location: Dolphin Cove Weyr
Date: month 2, day 18 of Turn 6

Tavia

She smiled up at U'kaiah as he lead her off the dance floor and toward
the refreshments. "I'm a bit tired," she said. "Mind if I just sit for
a few minutes?" Her smile turned a little sly and she added. "I'm sure
there are some other people you should talk to." **Like Janani** She
spotted her friend Liesanne sitting near the refreshments. "I'll be
over there when you come to find me."

"All right, all right, I know when I'm being dismissed," he laughed,
pulling her close for a thorough kiss. "I won't be banished to wander
alone for _too_ long, will I? There's always a chance I could get lost,
you know. I'm very desirable when I'm all dressed up, I've been told."

"Fishing for a compliment are we?" she retorted laughing.
"Don't get too lost, you're mine tonight!" She didn't miss all
appreciative the female eyes that turned his way through the hatching
and the following feast. "And yes.... you are."

U'kaiah's eyes silently conveyed his opinion that she was equally
alluring to him. He gave her one last kiss that would cement the
promise that they would finish up this night naked and exhausted in each
other's arms before turning to make his way through the crowd.

Seeing she was finally alone, L'rak slid up to Tavia. "Enjoying
yourself?"

"I'm having a great time," she said with a smile. "How about you?"

He tried to keep his voice even. "I keep thinking of all the time I
was miserable because I thought you'd gotten rid of our baby."

She looked at him dispassionately. She didn't really want to be drawn
into an argument in the middle of the hatching feast. "I didn't start
it L'rak. You lied first. Besides you got what you wanted."

"I never wanted to hurt you," he said. "But you _meant_ to hurt me."

She crossed her arms over her obviously swelling belly. "Really? What
did you think lying about what you were doing, who you were with...
all of that would do other than hurt me?" She shook her head, he was
at best still deceiving himself. "For _not_ wanting to hurt me you did
a really great job of breaking my heart. I _trusted_ you L'rak. I
trusted you when you said I was the only one in your life besides
flights. You lied."

"I hurt you, so you had to hurt me. Were you even pregnant, or was
that a lie too?" He knew he should let it go, but she'd let him carry
around that pain for turns.

"I was pregnant." That was all she wanted to say on the matter. "Is
there a point to this?"

"I don't think you ever knew how much that hurt me," he said. "I'm not
trying to excuse what I did to you, but making me think it was our was
cruel. It hurts. It still hurts, even though you said it wasn't mine."
He wondered who's baby it had been, but that wasn't as important.

She didn't want to keep going over the same ground over and over
again. She'd loved him once but now she couldn't really figure out
why. "I know this is important to you but if you're looking for an
apology you have come to the wrong place."

"You really are heartless. Thanks for making it clear."

Tears filled her eyes, as hard as she'd tried to remain emotionless he
somehow had gotten through her barriers once again. She looked over
her shoulder to see if she could spot U'kaiah anywhere nearby but she
didn't see him. "Thanks," she whispered. "You were the one that ripped
it out of my chest and smashed it. In case you don't remember." Her
lips trembled and she pressed them together firmly biting the inside
in her fighting off the emotions.

U'kaiah thew his head back and laughed as his fellow waterball
enthusiast delivered his punchline. "That's a good one, I'll have to
remember it," he said, recovering himself. Glancing over in Tavia's
direction more out of habit than concern, he was surprised by the look
on her face. Something didn't seem right. "You don't mind if I steal
it, do you?" he asked, flashing his smile back at his companion briefly
before turning his gaze back towards the greenrider.

L'rak couldn't decide if he was happy or not that he'd made her cry.
"I used to feel bad about that, but I don't anymore. I lied because I
didn't want to hurt you. You lied to hurt me."

They'd both lied and hurt each other. In her mind it didn't make any
real difference to the outcome and he was splitting hairs to justify
his own actions. "Just leave me _alone_ L'rak, this isn't going to
accomplish anything other than more pain and recriminations." She
scanned again for U'kaiah and saw him looking in her direction. She
started to just walk away from L'rak and head toward U'kaiah.

The bronzerider was already moving in her direction after excusing
himself from his friend's company. Something was very wrong. He knew
her well enough now to realize that much. But just what it was, he
could not guess.

"You're right, Tavia," L'rak said. "I wish I'd never met you." He
turned to leave.

Tavia's hands caressed her abdomen more glad than ever that the father
of her child was at the very least truthful with her. He didn't
promise the moon to deceive her into believing he cared. No... that
was incredibly unfair. He really _did_ care... in his way. He cared
about her and he cared about the baby. She'd seen the kind of father
he was. She turned back for a moment and looked at him ignoring the
fogging in her eyes "Ditto."

U'kaiah laid a hand on her shoulder as he came up behind her, not sure
what was going on between her and this man, but seeing the tension in
her. Still, he knew only snippets of her history, and he did not want
to interfere if his presence was not welcome at that moment. But if she
did _not_ want to talk to this man, U'kaiah would make sure and deal
with the situation. "Am I still exiled to wander alone, or may I come
back now?"

Her eyes closed for a moment and she breathed in a long calming breath
when she felt U'kaiah's hand on her shoulder. She turned a rather
shaky smile to him. "You're very welcome," she said with great
sincerity. "I'm done here and L'rak was just leaving."

"Yeah." L'rak walked away without a goodbye. If he was lucky, maybe
Tavia would follow her bronzerider to Dragonsfall and be out of his
life forever.

Last updated on the August 3rd 2011

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