Sorry Seems to be the Hardest Word (1/2)

Writers: Anaria, Len
Date Posted: 30th May 2011

Characters: J'nor, G'wen
Description: G'wen and J'nor have it out about their fight and find some insight into one another
Location: Dragonsfall Weyr
Date: month 1, day 23 of Turn 6

Class about to start for the morning, G'wen walked out his room, his
head down. Threadfall charts and patterns were filling his head,
otherwise he would have been watching where he was walking. As it
was, when he plowed right into the tall figure of J'nor, he nearly
knocked himself down.

"Sorry...!" He flushed and stopped talking when he saw who he had run
into. Of all the people! Drawing all of his small frame up, he
glared at the blue Weyrling and tried to push past him.

J'nor reached out one long arm to stop G'wen, easily halting the
smaller boys' progress. "Hold on a second, I want to talk to you about
something," he said. He knew G'wen had been avoiding him for the past
few days, and he wasn't going to give up on an opportunity to try and
talk to the other boy.

"Yes?" The small lad had tensed when J'nor caught him. He couldn't
look him in the eye, not after what J'nor had accused him of,
preferring to look just over his shoulder instead.

"Can we talk?" J'nor asked softly, trying to keep his voice level, and
non-threatening. He had just emerged from his barrack, and he "guided"
G'wen into it so they could have some privacy.

G'wen saw what he was doing and glared at him. "Yes, if you don't
think that corralling me into your room would be some veiled attempt
by me to get you in the sack." He wasn't about to forgive J'nor
easily.

"G'wen if you mention that conversation ever again I'm going to hit
you. I said something stupid, but to be quite frank you've been a
thorough brat yourself. You can't just start crying for no apparent
reason and expect people to feel bad for you all the time, you know?"
J'nor said, fighting to keep his temper in check.

"If you_even_think my crying had anything to do with trying to make
you feel badly for me, then you're even more clueless than I thought
you were." G'wen shook his head in disgust with the boy. "I was
crying because all I had been hoping and trying to do was get you and
O'ryn together and all I got in return was some silly babble about how
much I must be in love with you. How would you feel, if you were me?
I wanna shag you as much as I wanna shag K'ale..which is not at all!"
He stared at J'nor and stepped up to him. "And if you really want to
hit me, go ahead." As if the foot difference between the boys would
make it a fair fight.

"Listen, I pulled you aside to apologize to you. You can either accept
it, or you can keep going on nonsensically. To be honest, I don't care
one way or the other. But we have months of classes ahead of one
another, and they'll be far easier to deal with if we can actually get
past this stupid argument and just be friends again," J'nor said.

"We'll 'get past' this stupid argument if and only if you give me a
sincere apology. And saying that I'm going on nonsensically isn't a
good way to say you're sorry, y'know?" G'wen sat down on the edge of
the bed, feeling deflated by J'nor's ego. How was what he had said so
far construed as any form of an apology?

"What is it you think I need to apologize for? You say things like
'you're egotistical because I think I like you, but you come up and
lean your head on my shoulder all the time- why would I _not_ think
you were trying to throw yourself at me?" J'nor said. He was honestly
wondering why he was bothering to apologize in the first place. "I
mean, if Cardella did the same thing to me, I'd come to the same
conclusion."

G'wen blinked and gave him a disbelieving look. "Hey, I don't care
one way or the other for an apology, but you did say--and I
quote--'listen, I pulled you aside to apologize.' Did you not just
say that or is there some invisible blue rider also in this room with
us? So if you were being sincere than I'd like a real one...one that
would come from a friend..and not all these half ones that makes any
idea of continuing our friendship a complete joke."

"I'm sorry," J'nor said. "I genuinely am. But I want you to realize
that you can't just expect to run around and have no consequence to
how you act. Just because you don't mean something some way doesn't
mean that other people don't perceive it that way," he explained
calmly.

"So you're asking me to curb part of my nature so that it suits you?"
G'wen glanced up at him and sighed. He'd gone his whole life being
constricted and told what to do by his dad and foster mother and now
his so-called friends were going to try and control him too? Great,
that was just great. "Okay, I won't touch you, look at you or
anything else that might be thought of as hitting on you. Happy?" He
slid off the bed since it was J'nor's after all and stood up but kept
his head down and gaze on the floor. A nasty headache was beginning
in his temples and he did want to cry, if only because he just wanted
to get as far away from his former friend as soon as possible.

"It's not that people expect you to change. You just need to realize
that what you feel when you act in a certain way, and what people feel
when they perceive it is completely different. I mean, I grew up in
the Hold, for Faranth's sake. I'd have the snot beaten out of me if I
acted that way towards another man, even if I was only trying to be
friendly," J'nor said. "There are going to be times when you can't be
yourself - that's true for all of us as dragonriders. We have bigger
responsibilities."

"And on_that_note, could you tell E'naer I've got a splitting
headache? I'm going to go lay back down." The last bit came out in a
choke and the smaller lad brushed past J'nor and all but ran back to
his own room. He threw himself on the bed and cried, not really sure
why he was crying.

Last updated on the June 2nd 2011

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Sorry Seems to be the Hardest Word (1/2)