Misunderstandings

Writers: Anaria, Len
Date Posted: 1st April 2011

Characters: G'wen, J'nor
Description: G'wen tries to comfort J'nor over his fight with O'ryn and gets a surprise via J'nor and his ego.
Location: Dragonsfall Weyr
Date: month 1, day 20 of Turn 6
Notes: Mentioned: K'ale, O'ryn, J'darin

It had been a long day. The Weyrlingmasters had drilled the Jr.
Weyrlings all day on formation, first in threes and then in nines.
G'wen, for one, had been thrilled when the torture had stopped and
they could get food, get clean and think about bed. He was finishing
up on oiling Neath when he spotted a forlorn face that looked sadder
than anything the training today could have done.

He gave Neath one last pat as she inspected his handiwork and curled
up in her wallow for the evening. The boy walked over to where J'nor
sat on his bed and flopped down beside him. "Why the long face? I
thought you and Zora did really well today. Much better than that
snotty K'rhen." The boy rolled his eyes with his opinion of the brown
rider. He curled up against the taller blue rider's leg and
positioned his face so he could look up at the boy. "Come on, what's
up? You look like you just lost your best friend."

J'nor snorted derisively, "Well that's fitting, because that's
precisely how I _feel_," he said, his tone harsher than he intended.
He cringed when he saw the effect his words had on G'wen. "I'm sorry,
it's not your fault, you don't deserve my anger. It's just that O'ryn
apparently thinks I'm too immature for him, and I've been trying to
keep it together so the Weyrlingmaster doesn't think I've completely
lost my mind." Or broken the rules regarding relationships, he added
mentally.

G'wen had been taken aback when he said that and sat up. As J'nor
talked he leaned back in and resumed curling up around the boy's legs.
Now he knew where this was going he was comfortable again. "O'ryn
doesn't think you're too immature for him, get that out of your mind.
You know his green is due to Rise, right? He's probably just getting
proddy."

"I know," J'nor said softly. "But I asked him if that was why he was
doing it, and he just kept pushing me away. I am afraid that these are
things that he's always felt, but he has been too nice to say any of
it to me," he sighed. "And besides, even if he does want to have
something after the flight, I am still Holdbred, and it still bothers
me that someone else is going to be with him that first time."

"Ah, J'nor, trust me on this. Whatever he may have said to hurt you,
he_doesn't_believe anything he said. And as far as being Holdbred
goes, you've_got_to get over those sort of thoughts. Otherwise you'll
really hurt yourself, O'ryn and possibly even Zora. You don't want
that, now do you? And O'ryn's been with others before, so it's not
like this is the first time anyhoo." He reached up and poked J'nor
softly on the nose.

"Yeah, but I wasn't stuck sitting in the weyrling barracks while he
was with some other guy before," J'nor lamented. "And I've never even
been with a man, what if I'm no good? What if the person that wins the
flight is _really_ good, and O'ryn decides he wants a real man?" Why
did men have to be such a mystery to J'nor, when women had been so
easy?!

"You've been with women, right? Well, it's pretty much the
same...except you put your bits someplace else," G'wen teased. He had
only been with the one man, but it hadn't looked too terribly
complicated, what they had gotten up to. "And too, from what everyone
says, I don't think O'ryn'll remember too much. And what if he gets
some really horrible bronze rider that treats him like crap? What
then?" He sat up and nudged J'nor's knee hard. "Come on, trust me,
I'm in the same boat as O'ryn, and the last thing on my mind is that
the guy that catches Neath is going to be 'good' in the sack. All I'm
hoping for is to not get beaten up, y'know? O'ryn has to be feeling
the same sorts of things." He leaned back against J'nor. "What he
needs is a friend. And a man."

"Yeah, but he seems to have rejected me in that regard as well," J'nor
said softly. "I'm pretty sure it didn't help that I acted like a
complete child when he told me that he didn't want to spend time with
me anymore." J'nor sighed heavily. "I really can't wait until all of
this is over, and I don't have to worry about it anymore. "Hopefully
once Lyriath rises, and we graduate to Senior Weyrling status,
everything will start working properly again."

"Well, what do you want, with him then?" G'wen echoed his sigh. "I
mean, what if your dragons don't want to be mates, what then?"

"I don't know that I've ever honestly considered that. I mean, Lyriath
and Zoranaith were friends until she got proddy with him, but he still
doesn't fully understand what it means that she's a girl dragon and
he's a boy dragon. That would be really inconvenient though," J'nor
said.

G'wen sighed mightily again. "Yeah, but J'nor, this_is_the Weyr. For
better or worse, this is the way things go here. I mean, what if..say
K'ale's brown and Neath decide to be weyrmated? We would have to deal
with it, and things like this happen all the time here. So just
because Zora likes Lyriath as a friend, that doesn't mean
they'll_like_each other, y'know? I think what you need to do is
decide how exactly you feel about O'ryn and forget about what might or
might not be happening with the dragons. And you need to go with that
feeling..cos if you don't you're being really unfair to O'ryn and he's
so nice and he's so shy that to not do that would be really cruel to
him." He propped his chin on J'nor's knee and smiled up at him.
"And..hey-ho..what would you do if Zora decided he wanted to be
weyrmated with Neath, what then?" He gave him a rather wicked grin
and let him sweat over that one.

J'nor flushed a bit, thinking over his response. "Oh, I know how I
feel about O'ryn," he said softly, his face lighting up in the manner
of one who's young and in love. "I've never actually cared about
anyone else this way, never been able to easily laugh at someone's
jokes, or to just sit with someone and have their be no pressure to do
or say anything." Realizing he was rambling, he paused for a moment.
"I'm genuinely afraid that sex will ruin it, you know?"

"Erm..." G'wen had never felt like that before...but... "So why would
sex ruin that? I would think that sex is just part of feeling like
that. If you weren't a Jr Weyrling, you guys would have done it by
now, right? So...there's you answer. Go talk to O'ryn_before_that
green of his Rises and let him know...really know..what you're feeling
about him. I think you may be surprised by his reaction." The tiny
greenrider sat back at that and gave J'nor a sad smile. "If I was
O'ryn, I'd want to know someone cared about me before all this trauma
happens with the Flight. He's lucky he's got someone who likes him as
much as you. Try being completely alone like me."

J'nor nodded, "I suppose you have a point, I mean, part of his
aggression is likely because he's afraid of what's going to happen
when Lyriath rises. I'm sure he's really just misdirecting his anger."
That mystery solved for the moment, J'nor frowned as he studied G'wen.
"Listen, I'm really sorry that I can't be who you want me to be," he
said softly. "You're a great guy, but I really do care for O'ryn."

G'wen sat back, genuinely surprised by what J'nor said. Why did he
think he liked him? "Well, there's nothing wrong with your ego, is
there?" He gave the other boy a quizzical look. "Why the bloody
shards do you think I like you, in_that_way? The only guy I 'want'
you to be is an honest and compassionate lover to O'ryn! So get off
your high runner already." Really, some nerve! Like he would try to
stand in the way of his friend!

J'nor let out a quick laugh in surprise, "It's not ego at all. I've
seen the way you look at me! And I've noticed how you've changed a bit
ever since you apparently must have found out that we liked one
another! You don't have to pretend it's not true for O'ryn's sake, I
won't tell him if you don't want me to."

"What are you on? I'll go tell O'ryn exactly how I feel about you,
don't you worry. And if you persist talking like this, the opinion
won't be flattering in the least." G'wen slid away from the taller
weyrling. Obviously his ego was too massive to understand what
affection was between two people who were friends. "And how the
bloody shards have I 'changed'? What the...? All I've been trying to
do is get you two sad faced jerks together!" He bit his lower lip to
stop what he really felt like doing, which was crying. How could
J'nor be so clueless?

J'nor blinked, "You.... huh? Is that why you kept trying to slyly ask
me what kind of person I was attracted to?" he asked, confused.
Looking back at their previous conversations, he could sort of see how
he might have misconstrued it as interest. "Shards, G'wen, I thought
you were so interested in me because you wanted to be with me! I
thought you threw O'ryn into me at the lake the other day because you
wanted him to leave or something!" **How is it feasibly possible for
me to misconstrue people's intentions to this level? Do I just not
understand any relationship that doesn't involve sex!?**

"I 'threw' O'ryn into you cos he doesn't--or didn't--know you liked
him too! How can you be so utterly blind?!" He shifted away from the
other boy so he couldn't see that he was starting to cry, out of
frustration and annoyance and a general feeling of how alone he was in
the world. How could someone be so stupid? "You_so_suck with
relationships, don't you?"

"I've never _been_ in one!" J'nor exclaimed, tossing his arms up in
frustration. "Even with women, I couldn't tell if one of them liked me
until I was inside her! But I can't tell when they _don't_ like me
either, so it's harder for me to get discouraged than most. Now do you
understand why this whole thing has got me so messed up?!"

"Well, I haven't been in a relationship either!" the other boy all but
shouted. "But even so, I think I'd be just a bit more switched on as
to who does and who doesn't like me! What you need to do, my friend,
is grow the bloody shards up." At that G'wen stood up from the bed.

J'nor fell limply back on the bed. Of the few things that he was
certain of, one of them was that he couldn't wait until they graduated
Weyrling training. It seemed like recently, everything he said or did
was completely wrong, and the people he thought he could count on as
friends were all pushing him away.

"Guys! Guys!" The tall figure of S'vin stepped between G'wen and the
boy still laying on the bed, wrapping his arm around G'wen's
shoulders. "Guys, you're starting to be heard all through the
barracks. Now unless you want J'darin and his cronies coming down all
over us, I suggest you two tone it down. Why are you two fighting
anyways? I thought we were all friends." He took in G'wen's face.
"Hey, hey, come on! You're okay." Turning back once he had whipped
some of his tears away, he glared at J'nor. "Why is he crying? What
have you done to make him cry?"

"I don't... I didn't... I don't know!" J'nor said, relieved that in a
few short sevendays he'd be free of the barracks and have an easier
time of things. "I didn't think we were fighting, I just thought he
was insinuating one thing, and he meant another, and now he's upset...
I apparently just can't handle dealing with people!"

"Well, that's obvious," S'vin snorted, turning his childhood friend
away from his fellow blue rider. "When you _do_take his advice and
grow up, we'll be over there." He pointed to their beds across the
way from J'nor's. "Come on sweetie," he said to G'wen, "let's go get
some fresh air and get away from this blow hard."

Once they'd left, J'nor turned and punched the nearest wall as hard as
possible. While it was true that he'd misinterpreted G'wen's
intentions, it was pretty frustrating that his response was to tell
him to grow up. G'wen was the one who was _crying_ over nothing. J'nor
shook his head in frustration. "Thank Faranth we get our own weyrs
soon," he said to himself.

Last updated on the April 27th 2011

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Misunderstandings