Be Willing to Be His

Writers: Ames, Eimi
Date Posted: 26th February 2011

Characters: Merlish, Maemira
Description: Merlish and Maemira meet to talk about seating charts, but end up talking about... that...
Location: Harper Hall
Date: month 13, day 12 of Turn 6

"Thank you again for helping me," Merlish said with a slightly
embarrassed smile as she poured the headwoman a cup of tea. "I really
know nothing about seating charts or making arrangements for this sort
of thing. I never expected to have such a big wedding. I have to
admit, I'm finding the thought of that many pairs of eyes fixed on me a
bit... overwhelming."

"Aye, love. It can be," Maemira replied as she smiled her thanks to
Merlish for the tea. "I can't say I know the feeling exactly. My own
wedding was rather small. Just the locals at the Hold, but still it
can be a rather overwhelming experience." Maemira stopped and reached
her hand out to place it gently on Merlish's arm, "but, it should be a
day you remember with joy. So whatever I can do to help make this day
extra special for you...well, I'm just glad to do it." Taking another
sip of her tea, she set the cup down and pulled the list of names over
to look at once again. There really _were_ alot of names on that list
and many Maemira didn't know. They'd have to make sure that they
didn't seat any known 'enemies' beside each other or that could cause
quite a ruckus.

"I always thought I'd have a small wedding, myself. But I suppose no
one gets the wedding they dreamed of as a little girl." And Merlish had
certainly dreamed about the moment enough to fill two girl's fantasies!
Suddenly she realized how ungrateful that sounded. "Not that I regret
the way things have turned out. Not in the least," she assured the
headwoman. **Well, maybe a little in the least...**

Maemira chuckled and patted Merlish's hand. "Honey, don't you worry. I
understand completely. Sometimes the dreams we have for ourselves just
do not turn out the way we plan." Maemira had _plenty_ of experience
in that regard, but today was about Merlish.

"This is supposed to be your day, so let's see if we can work some of
those dreams into the plans, what do you say?" Maemira winked
conspiratorially at the young girl, hoping she could coax her to share
a bit more about herself in the process.

Merlish doubted they could do that. Not since it would mean a total
change in the groom. Master Eilomar was kind and generous. He was
important and made her feel like she would be, too. He needed a woman
to look after him, and he had been a great help to her family. But he
certainly wasn't the kind of man she had always dreamed of being on her
arm on that special day. She had always had the fantasy that her
husband would be breathtakingly handsome, and that they would be madly
in love. She felt like an unappreciative child for even thinking such a
thing! But that was the dream she had, and there was no way to
incorporate that into her wedding day.

That thought suddenly made her feel overwhelmingly sad, and she sat back
in her chair, her brow beginning to knit. There would be no love, no
flutter in her stomach at saying the vows that wasn't related to the
fear of making a mistake. She was marrying a fat old man. A _rich_ fat
old man, to be sure. A kind fat old man. But a fat old man none the
less. "I can't do this," she whispered, staring at the long list of
names that were all _his_ relatives and friends. What was she _doing_
here? She was a simple girl, who wanted a simple life! With family and
love and... She wanted her mother!

"Oh dear," Maemira murmured as she watched the flicker of emotions on
the girl's face. She held her hand in hers, patting it gently. "Come
now, Merlish, we can definitely do this. Seating charts and plans are
not all that difficult, besides I am here to help you in any way
possible." Maemira, of course, had no idea what the young potential
bride was thinking. "You will have a marvelous wedding day. We can
handle all this now." She gestured briefly at the pages, worried that
something else might be upsetting the bride-to-be.

"Oh, yes, of course," Merlish said, horrified that she had actually said
that thought outloud! "Yes, I'm better now," she said, quickly snapping
up a page and looking at it, though as much as she tried to cover her
sudden realization that she was going to be married to the rotuned
master harper of advanced turns for the rest of her life, it was her
future that flashed before her eyes, not the names on the list.

Maemira could see through a lie like she could through glass. Reaching
her hand up she gently tugged the paper down a bit.

"Merlish, it's okay to be uncertain. Trust me. If you need someone to
talk to, I'm always happy to listen and I can keep a very strict
confidence when I choose to." She looked the lass in the eye to let her
know she was telling her the truth.

"I have no right to complain, ma'am. This is a great honor for my
family." Merlish she just had to keep reminding herself of that. She
was helping her family. "And Master Eilomar has been very kind and
generous and he will provide for me. I know he will."

"Yes, dear, that he will do. Though, he _is_ much older than you. Still
he is a man, and not matter the age difference between you, he will care
and provide for you. And while I don't know Master Eilomar all that well
myself, I've learned that men of more turns often have great experience
in pleasing their women." Though Maemira had no qualms in discussing
such matters with anyone, she was not certain how much Merlish had
already learned about the matters between a man and a woman. "I'm sure
you're
mother has shared much with you already about married life."

Merlish's face turned crimson at the mere mention. "A little." She had
hated talking about it, though it had piqued her curiosity. But the
thought of doing _that_ with Eilomar... She could feel her heart race,
and not in anticipation.

Maemira cleared her throat. Perhaps she _shouldn't_ go there with
Merlish. She didn't want to dissuade the young girl from this union,
though Maemira's recollections of the bedroom had always been filled
with good thoughts and memories.

"Perhaps we should get back to the seating chart. I am afraid I can be a
bit nosy at times. I'm more than happy to talk anytime, but I didn't
intend to make you uncomfortable."

"No no," Merlish quickly assured her, turning even more pink if it was
possible. "I just... Don't usually... Well it's not exactly polite...
It's unladylike to ask about... that..." Though she was more interested
to hear about it than she cared to admit. She didn't know _how_ she was
going to get through her wedding night now. With Master Eilomar?
Wouldn't he... crush her?

Maemira watched her and leaned forward with a wink, "No one says we have
to be ladylike behind closed doors, dear Merlish. Then again, I'm not
always lady-like anyway." She chuckled. "You do know what happens though
right? I don't want to pry and all, dear, or overstep my bounds, but if
you
need advice or whatever, I'm an open book."

"I know you have to do it if you want to have children." And Merlish
definitely wanted that. Lots of children. Which meant doing it lots of
times. With Eilomar. "And I know basically what it is."

"That's a good start, dear." Maemira was glad she wasn't completely
ignorant of what happened between a man and a woman. Leaning in, she
smiled knowingly at the young girl. "I can't speak for Eilomar, but if
it's done _right_, it is more than just about having children. Trust me,
Merlish. It's so much more than that alone." Maemira couldn't hide the
smile on her face
that came from years of being rather satisfied in her life.

"Can a man as big as Master Eilomar... do it right?" Merlish was
surprised at her own forwardness is talking to the Headwoman about such
a thing, but shards, she needed to know!

"Well," Maemira began, "some people say size does not matter, but
truthfully, it does. But it's not the size round the middle that counts,
but rather the size..." she lowered her eyes looking down, "down there
that counts."

Merlish wanted to die in shame even talking about Eimolar's... down
there. "I wouldn't know about that." How did she get herself into this
conversation?!

"No, dearie, I wouldn't expect you to. But, any man _can_ do it right,
if he wants to." Maemira told the young bride to be.

Merlish groaned as she set her elbows on the table and covered her face
with her hands. She had no idea how she was going to get through that
first night. Or any of the nights following! Just the thought of being
naked in front of _anyone_ mortified her, but that Master Eilomar would
be naked and heaving... Whereas her face had been crimson, all the blood
drained from it at the terrifying thought. "I think I'm going to throw
up."

"Oh, no," Maemira fretted. Perhaps she _shouldn't_ have had this
conversation with the girl. "Here, drink some tea, it might make you
feel better."

"How did you get through your wedding night?" Merlish asked, curling her
fingers around the cup in front of her.

Maemira thought back to that night many turns ago. "To be honest dear,
it was a most uncomfortable night. I was awkward, so was he, but in the
end we figured things out and it didn't turn out too badly. Things got
_much_ better in the nights after that night though. You will learn
things about each other, ways to make each other happy, but on that
first
night, just be willing to be his. It might seem a bit strange at first,
but you _will_ find your way through it all. I promise."

Well, there seemed to be some hope in that statement at least. "So all
I have to do it get through that first night?"

"It definitely _should_ get better after that first night," Maemira
paused. She knew she couldn't promise the girl anything for not all men
were the same. "Find out ways to make him happy and if he is like many
men, he
will want to please you, both in and out of the bedchamber." She hoped
her advice would prove true. Eilomar was a good man, but she didn't know
much about him personally. In fact, not many people seemed to, so she
didn't know
if what she spoke was true or not.

**Just be willing to be his...** Merlish repeated to herself, folding
her hands and looking down into her tea. She had spent all her life
hiding from uncomfortable situations. This was one she could not
escape, and she would have to face completely alone. She tried to give
herself courage. Women had done this since time began and had always
survived. She would too. "A wife has certain duties to perform, and
this is just one of them. It's just something I have to do."

"That is one way to look at it dear," Maemira replied. "Shall we get
back to
these seating charts now?"

"Yes, let's do that," Merlish replied quickly, wanting very much to
pretend that everything was going to be all right.

Last updated on the March 18th 2011

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Be Willing to Be His