Egos and Insults

Writers: Devin, Eimi
Date Posted: 23rd November 2008

Characters: N'vanik, U'kaiah
Description: N'vanik and U'kaiah bring out the worst in each other again..
Location: Dragonsfall Weyr
Date: month 12, day 5 of Turn 4

N'vanik

It would be better if he ignored him and just went back to Dolphin
Cove. Back home, he reminded himself. But N'vanik just couldn't
resist. He stepped up beside the other bronzerider. "Congratulations
on the Hatching, U'kaiah." His tone wasn't quite false, but it wasn't
quite sincere, either.

"Thank you, Weyrleader," U'kaiah replied, summoning a smile that was
about as honest as N'vanik's platitudes. "I was sorry to see your
daughter did not Impress. I'm sure she will next time."

"Yes. I was sad to see she didn't Impress. But on the bright side,
she'll never be in your Wing." N'vanik smiled. "I'm taking her to
Dolphin Cove. She'll never have to deal with your insults or your
self-righteous attitude."

Well, it was certainly a relief to see Dolphin Cove had a Weyrleader
they could be proud of, U'kaiah thought sarcastically with a sickeningly
sweet smile.
Did N'vanik really have to try to prove himself the biggest wherry's ass
on
Pern today of all days? "I wouldn't worry about that, sir. I hear you
had no hand in raising her, so she couldn't have turned out so bad that
I would have needed to insult her."

"Maybe." Although Cosani was her father's daughter in many ways. "But
you act self-righteous around _everyone_, so at least she'll be spared
that." Shards, he was so glad she wouldn't have to deal with him.

Did N'vanik really think U'kaiah cared one shred what he thought of
him? It was truly pathetic the way the supposed 'leader' made a fool of
himself. "Well, sir, luckily Dolphin Cove does have K'hetah, so there
will be at least one decent Wingleader for her to learn from."

After the venom U'kaiah had thrown at him last time, this was the best
he could do? "Yes, well. I suppose leading a Weyr in Fall for the
first time in my life with no deaths doesn't quite qualify me for
'decent'. I guess I'd have to go with 'good'. We'll see how long it
takes me to work up to 'great'."

Shards, did N'vanik really think that was all it took to be a good
leader? "I doubt I will ever live that long, sir. After all, even
_O'dan_ lead Fall without killing anyone most of the time. And killing
people is your self-professed talent. Give it time, sir. I'm sure
you'll mark your eventually."

That was more like it. "No, actually, _failing_ is my talent, and ever
since Nyith's Flight, I haven't been doing much of that. My luck's
changed. _Dolphin Cove's_ luck has changed, and it's only going to get
better." The fear would probably come back to haunt him again, but
right now N'vanik was still riding high on his accomplishments.

U'kaiah hid a snort. All this confidence was going to come back and
bite N'vanik in the ass, and if it wasn't going to be so tragic to
watch, U'kaiah would love to be there to see it. "Yes, sir." This
conversation was growing tedious and U'kaiah had far more on his mind
than listening to some little man pretend he was bigger than he truly
was. "Do you honestly think you're fooling _anyone_, sir?" He shook
his head as he grabbed another drink off the table. "Excuse me, I have
important people to greet."

N'vanik chuckled. "I get it! You're _jealous_."

"Jealous of a man who has a job I never wanted? Or a man who has
managed to successfully lead _one_ Fall when I've lead hundreds?
Jealous of a man has never accomplished anything for himself? You have
nothing I would find worth being jealous of, which you well know,
_sir_." N'vanik was proving himself more and more a child, and U'kaiah
was getting tired of being pulled into his adolescent games. "Enjoy the
party."

"I have Trae as my Weyrwoman," N'vanik said.

"I have her as my lover and you have Talryne as yours, and while I have
cause to feel great pity for them both, I don't see your point, sir. So
why don't you enjoy the party and I will go act self-righteous among the
rest of my guests."

"The point is, I can't imagine you're not jealous of that. She's my
Weyrwoman, my partner. I get to see her every day, while you have to
wait for a restday or a few stolen candlemarks here and there."
N'vanik crossed his arms. "And it seems like she's still pissed at you
for turning her down. She's flaunting her brownrider toy like she's
trying to make you jealous."

"I know she's pissed at me, I knew I would only ever see her on restdays
and I know about the brownrider." However, U'kaiah didn't know it was
more than a passing attraction. Still, he wouldn't give N'vanik the
satisfaction of knowing that the idea that Trae seemed to be "flaunting"
the man publically hit a very sensitive nerve. He remembered that
possessive look in the man's eye all too well. "Trae is free to sleep
with who she likes, just as I am, and that includes you or some
brownrider. I don't feel the need to keep and control my women in a
cage like you need to."

It was a cheap shot, and N'vanik knew it. "If that was a comment about
Tal, I hardly think encouraging her to be independent at every turn is
keeping her in a cage."

U'kaiah could see he had hit his mark. "No, but taking it upon yourself
to decide who she spends time with certainly is. No wonder you think I
must be jealous. You assume that because you need to keep your women on
your leash to feel safe that every man needs to. What a pitiful way to
live your life. I really can't envy such a man. You better be careful.
Your daughter just might find more freedom living in a Hold than living
with her father."

"You're taking what I said _one_ time, in anger, as some kind of
behavior pattern?" N'vanik said.

"All you are is a behavior pattern. You're the misunderstood bad-boy.
You're the rebel. You're the pity case with a past who hates being
pitied and yet wants to be coddled to because if no one is felling sorry
for you, no one notices you. You can't see anything beyond yourself.
The only things you think about your own guilt, your own anger, your own
pain, and your own failures and every positive relationship you have
with another human being is either to ease your conscious or to satisfy
your needs. Tell me one person that you have ever helped because you
could, or one person that you showed kindness to because it was the
right thing to to. Tell me one time that you ever heard a critism and
tried to improve yourself instead of blaming others for your faults and
wallowing in your own self-pity. I know you. It's not hard. You're
nothing but a cliche, and I've heard the story too many times to care
anymore."

A turn ago, he would have been furious that U'kaiah knew him so well.
The words still stung, but they didn't have the impact they might have
once had. "Yeah," N'vanik said. "That's who I was. But that's not who
I _am_. I've still got plenty of problems, sure, but I'm a better
person."

"Oh really?" the Wingleader snorted with sarcastic amusement. "So
far in the last few weeks you have proven yourself to be arrogant,
self-serving, self-pitying, insulting and manipulative. Sounds like the
old N'vanik we all knew and are happy to see the backside of. Now if
you'll excuse me, there are people here at this party who actually want
to talk to me, and who are worth taking the time to talk to. Good
evening, sir."

Well, he guessed he couldn't blame him if that's what he saw. U'kaiah
tended to bring out the worst in him. "Bye, U'kaiah." N'vanik turned
around to look for a drink. U'kaiah was his past. Dragonsfall was his
past, and if U'kaiah wanted to keep on seeing what N'vanik had been,
then so what? He didn't matter any more. Tal and Trae, they saw the
changes in him, they believed he could be better than he was. They
were what mattered. Dolphin Cove was his future. It was time to stop
living in the past.

Last updated on the November 23rd 2008

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Egos and Insults