One More Day...
Dragonsfall Weyr
Amber Hills Hold
Vintner Hall
Healer Hall
Hidden Meadows
Dolphin Cove Weyr
Dolphin Hall
Emerald Falls Hold
Harper Hall
Printer Hall
Green Valley Hold
Leeward Lagoon Hold
Barrier Lake Weyr
Sunstone Seahold
Citrus Bay Hold
Writers: Clancey, Dana
Date Posted: 19th August 2008
Characters: Traelyn, J'darin
Description: Traelyn checks on J'darin and comes to a decision
Location: Dolphin Cove Weyr
Date: month 11, day 16 of Turn 4
Notes: Threadfall; Follows the events of "Fallen" and "Acceptance"
Gathering her courage, Traelyn slipped silently through the part in the curtains surrounding J'darin's bed. His eyes were closed, breathing steady. Her eyes traveled down his body and she inwardly winced in seeing the bandages. Shards....
Clearing her throat softly, she sat down in the empty chair beside him. Pacham had said he was awake.... "J'darin?"
He had thought to pretend he was sleeping. He did not want anyone to see him like this, least of all Traelyn. He was unfit for her now. Anger rose behind his eyes, and frustration. The pain was momentarily at bay, but he hurt in other ways. Other less visible places.
}:We will fly again. We will!:{ Hasaarth, who had numbweed slathered on if he blinked, was resting comfortably. Their ordeal hadn't ended with falling to the ground. When he had awakened from their fall, he had found himself swathed in bandages all down his right arm and from his hip to below his knee on his right leg. And healers all around, whispering. A month at least to fly again. A month!
He continued to fight this silent battle even after Traelyn's voice came again. With no clear winner, he finally opened his eyes. Vivid blue was pale and drawn now, empty of ... something. Pride, perhaps.
"Hello, Trae. Are you and Nyith alright?" He said softly, not quite meeting her gaze.
**Are _we_ all right? Shards...** Traelyn reached out to gently press her fingers to his arm. She knew what he was doing. She knew what it was like to have that need to preserve pride--and for him to do it, he had to turn the attention from himself to her. "We're fine." But she couldn't just ignore the fact he was in here. He couldn't expect her not to ask. Offering him an encouraging smile, she scooted closer. "How are you feeling?"
**Like something was broken inside,** he wanted to say, but didn't. Instead, he looked toward her. "I suppose I'm alright for a broken bronzerider. I am allowed to feel no pain." Other than pain no healers could see, anyway.
Where a smile would have greeted her before, it was absent now. He did not shy away from her touch, nor move away from her as she scooted closer.
But that was all he could manage.
"The Wings got through alright, I heard." He paused, and the first real feeling came to his eyes for a moment. He whispered softly, "They haven't let me see Hasaarth. He _says_ he will be fine."
Pity filled her eyes for a moment. Shards, she'd want to see her dragon too. "Of course he will be, J'darin. Of course he will be." She squeezed his uninjured arm gently. "And so will you. Pacham is certain."
He turned away from her pity, biting back a very sharp retort. Pity was exactly what he did not need. His head tilted away from her and a wall went up between them that hadn't been there. Her pity was exactly why he felt unworthy of her, and her golden mate, now.
"I'm sure we will both be fine. The healers say I cannot see him for at least a day. I have to stay in bed. I don't like it at all." Frustration trickled into his tone. "This is the first time I've been hurt this bad. It's a bit... unsettling." He managed to say instead of what he had been thinking.
"Unsettling" was a bit of an understatement. "I know it's...disconcerting," she agreed softly. "But it could have been a lot worse, J'darin. You and Hasaarth will fly again."
"I know we will. Hasaarth keeps reminding me and the healers say so. But not for at least a month. A month, Trae! A month out of the skies and fighting Thread!" He paused to take a breath, then went on in a quieter tone. "And we're scarred now, no longer the same." He felt strange; he didn't know why this was destroying him this way, but it was. Her pity had shown him that for certain. They would forever be... less than they had been. He was being foolish, he knew. And Hasaarth told him so. But it didn't matter. He felt what he felt.
Her eyes flashed. "You _are_ the same. What does a bit of scar tissue matter when you could have lost your arm or your leg--Hasaarth's wing?" She held his eyes. "Or your lives?"
He closed his eyes and shook his head. "Nothing, I guess." But he couldn't stop the self torment, and it was not convincing.
"I am glad Hasaarth will fully recover use of his right wing. They say I will too, barring the scars and any stiffness they may cause." He forced his eyes open, meeting her intense gaze, burning narrowly down at him. "But I can't stand this, Traelyn. I feel like I'm different..." He paused, searching her eyes intently, as if looking for answers. "Maybe I looked death in the face and didn't like it, much. I don't know!" The last came out arguably angry and all his muscles on his left side tensed as if in the throes of some strong emotion.
"You're expecting too much of yourself." Her expression softened a little, but her voice was still firm. "Of course you're going to be shaken. It doesn't make you a lesser man to admit fear. But I'll be damned if I'll let you admit defeat to my face, J'darin."
He _almost_ smiled. Echoes of their many - and loud - fights came through that determined tone, even to the softening of her gaze. It was the after their fights that caught him, the softer side of Trae that he had always enjoyed. They always made up - even without bedfurs to seal the deal - and they were always stronger for a fight.
After long moments of silence, he finally nodded. "You're right, I know. I've survived hurricanes and Thread disasters and being your Weyrleader. I suppose we will survive this, too, right?"
She nodded. "Yes."
Her short reply left him unable to respond; he simply sighed softly, and held to her fingers with his good hand. "Thank you, Trae."
A faint smile touched her lips when she took his hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. "Everything will be all right." One more day, she thought, watching his tired face. She'd give him one more day before bringing up the subject that hadn't occurred to him yet. One more day....
Last updated on the August 20th 2008