Just Once
Dragonsfall Weyr
Amber Hills Hold
Vintner Hall
Healer Hall
Hidden Meadows
Dolphin Cove Weyr
Dolphin Hall
Emerald Falls Hold
Harper Hall
Printer Hall
Green Valley Hold
Leeward Lagoon Hold
Barrier Lake Weyr
Sunstone Seahold
Citrus Bay Hold
Writers: Dana, Eimi
Date Posted: 12th July 2008
Characters: Traelyn, B'ram
Description: The couple makes up in their usual way, but this time B'ram asks something he has never asked for before
Location: Dolphin Cove Weyr
Date: month 10, day 27 of Turn 4
Notes: Follows "DCW: Enough Honesty"
She shouldn't have done it. She realized that as soon as the words had left her lips yesterday, but hadn't admitted that she had done wrong to B'ram and herself until a couple of candlemarks ago. It was a humbling thing to admit fault--and Traelyn didn't do it often. Her pride wouldn't allow her to do it when she and B'ram got into little spats. They usually bypassed apology altogether and joined physically, somehow, someplace. It wasn't the most mature route to take, but she and B'ram had stopped trying months and months ago to fit into a mold that just didn't suit them. After their fights, and after they had left each other in a whirlwind of tempers, candlemarks and sometimes days later he would go to her first--be the first one to extend an olive branch. But this time, she knew she had to swallow her pride and go to him. _She_ had caused the problem, and she had to take the first steps to make it right between them again.
Nervously Traelyn eyed his weyr door before raising a fist to wrack her knuckles lightly against the wood.
B'ram also had a deep sense of regret. He shouldn't have loosed his tongue that like. Everything he had said had been carefully crafted to hit her in her most vulnerable spot, and even as he tossed and turned in his bed alone that night he felt the guilt and shame. He wasn't usually that person. He didn't purposefully hurt people, that just wasn't his way. Not usually. When Atreyn had left him, that had been the first time he had felt that impulse to just stab her right in her heart with hateful words. Why did he feel the need to do that to Trae? They had a history, yes, but shouldn't the months of loving have covered over that by now? When he opened his door and saw her standing there, looking so guilty and uncertain, he wanted to say the words "I'm sorry", but they were caught in his throat and no words would come.
Instead he reached for her hand and gently pulled her into his room. He closed the door and silently backed her into it, planting his arms on either side of her, trapping her between his body and the wood as if she might try to run away from him. B'ram wanted to say the words, but as he leaned in to kiss her softly he knew she would understand.
Traelyn sank into the kiss, letting him lead it. For once she didn't press against him, didn't slide her hands under his shirt--didn't do anything but gently kiss him back. Usually her guilt made her act more...well, more aggressively, but not this time. He was right about her. Had always been right about her. She pulled back briefly, glancing up to meet his gaze, the words of apology dancing on the tip of her tongue, but she couldn't say them. Looking back down, she brushed her lips to his again, tongue sliding against his. He would know--just like she knew.
His hands slid down the smooth wooden door to rest on her hips and then lower. He lifted her up and she obediently wrapped her legs around his body, pulling him close into her. B'ram continued to lean into her as his lips trailed softly down her neck. He had to feel her around him, he had to hold her there. He couldn't risk letting her go. Though he understood her regrets, he also couldn't forget her words. She had said he had over-reacted, but with all he knew of her history, how could he not doubt her?
She knew what he was thinking by the way he held her--trapping her against the door and his body, holding her above the ground. She knew what his fear was. Didn't he understand yet that she couldn't leave him? That, despite him reminding her of the girl she'd been, of the past she wanted to escape, she didn't _want_ to leave him? One hand curled around the back of his neck while her other slipped to her tunic. Carefully she undid the laces, spreading the V apart so he could trace his lips across her collarbones, and lower. Sighing, she tilted her head back against the door, massaging his skin, allowing him full control. He needed it.
~~~~
They found themselves once again entwined together in the dark, neither one of them with the strength to move, and yet not relaxed enough to sleep either. His arms were wrapped possessively around her, his breath tickling the side of her neck. "Don't go to Dragonsfall tomorrow," he finally whispered.
Traelyn's eyes flew open. She'd be a fool to ask why not--she knew perfectly well why he didn't want her going. "B'ram...."
"Just this once. Stay with me this once."
"You're making me choose," she whispered, hand sliding to his. "Don't make me choose."
But he did want her to choose. He wanted her to prove that she loved him, to prove that he was important enough to her. It was selfish and childish, he knew, but he just could not stomach the idea of her lying in that bronzerider's arms, lying with him the way they were lying now. "One day. I'm only asking for one day."
What he was asking for was a lot more than that. And had he asked under any other circumstances, she would have told him no in a flurry of temper.
But now.... Shards, how could she deny him? Traelyn shifted, turning around in his arms to look at him. After their fight yesterday, and after their revelations and lovemaking, how could she? Her expression was a mix of emotions as she searched his eyes: wariness, hurt, and yes, even a little bit of anger for his manipulation.
His gaze met hers squarely and unwavering. He pushed down his guilt, his fear, every emotion but the determination that this time she must prove it to him with more than just her body and her words. "Stay with me this once," he repeated.
Everything in her balked at having to choose, but--against her better judgment--she found herself nodding, slowly, before looking away. Trapped. Shards, she felt trapped.
A long breath B'ram hadn't even realize he'd be holding escaped his lips and he leaned his forehead against hers. That was all he had needed to know. Just once. "You'll hate me if you stay. I know you," he whispered. "Go to him. It's all right. It was enough for you to say it."
She blinked, shocked--she hadn't been expecting that. Then she closed her eyes, feeling as though a weight had been lifted from her. Wordlessly she brushed her nose against his. It was a sign of gratitude, of something deeper--that she knew him too, and understood.
Last updated on the July 14th 2008