Realisations

Writers: AL, Kaysea
Date Posted: 26th June 2008

Characters: Fog, Eliste
Description: Fog visits Eliste and realises something about her, and himself.
Location: Elsewhere on Pern
Date: month 10, day 11 of Turn 4

The water looked deceptively calm from where Eliste had chosen to make her perch, a hill, covered in grass, flowers surrounding her and the quilt that she sat upon. It wasn't one she had made, for she was focusing on projects for others to use, not herself, but she had been allowed use of it. She could hear the gentle roar of the river, the sound intriguing, as if it called to her. In her hands, Eliste held a figure, a boat that had been carved out of wood and given to her by Fog. She held it up at arms length for a moment, her perception making it look as if the wooden boat was floating upon the water. Her arm fell and she looked down at the creation. Whenever she wished she was on the river, listening to its melody mixing with the deep rumble of the engines, she would bring it out.

He stood and watched her for a few moments, she seemed lost in her own thoughts, her eyes held tightly on the small boat he had recently given her. It had been given as a reminder of her time spent onboard the Sungazer, given so that she wouldn't forget them; it pleased himto see her using it.

He stepped out from the foliage, and coughed giving a sign of his presence. "Hello Eliste." he said quietly. "I hope you don't mind my coming up to see you?"

Eliste jumped a little at the sound of an unexpected voice, but when she turned around, Fog was greeted with a smile. "Hello Fog. I was just thinking of you...and of the riverboat."

"I can see that." he replied, walking closer to the edge of the bank. "Do you come down here often?"

"Well, until recently, I was brought here." Eliste explained, her fingers playing over the boat, caressing the smooth wood. "This is the first time I've come on my own."

"Oh, okay. D'you mind if I take a seat?" he asked, hunching down beside her first.

"Of course not." Eliste placed a hand at her side, indicating he should sit there. "I would enjoy your company."

"You would?" he smiled warmly, "Then I'd like to sit and talk for a while, see how you have been managing without constant visitations from the crew."
he slipped easily to the ground, and picked up a handful of grass. Slowly he flicked one piece after another into the water, watching as it landed lightly and made small ripples in the water. "You seem to have settled in well, with Jardon coming for visits."

"He comes quite often." Eliste's smile warmed a bit as he sat beside her.
"And I enjoy company - especially..." She trailed off then, flushing and looking down at the boat.

"Yes?" Fog leaned over and down before looking up into her face.
"Especially?" He gave her a gentle smile, hoping he looked encouraging.

Eliste picked at an imaginary piece of lint upon her skirt, going quiet.
"How long do you have?" She finally asked softly, not answering his question.

"A day, a little over." he shrugged, "More than enough time for you to talk."

"What do you want to talk about?" Eliste lifted her gaze, but let it fall upon the river instead of the man beside her.

"Whatever it was you were about to say?" he replied, a smirk on his face.
"And I enjoy company - especially?" he said, repeating her words.

Eliste was silent for a moment as if weighing her words before she finally formed an answer, "Especially those I care about."

"Oh...." he wasn't sure if he came into that category or not. Maybe it was Jardon she would prefer sitting here with her? "I can go if you like?"
he said finally, a small smile on his face to hide his confusion.

"Oh no, please don't!" Eliste finally looked at him, "You only just got here. I enjoy your company."

"Oh Eliste, I didn't mean to upset you." he said, taking her hand soothingly. "I wasn't quite sure if I was - well -" **Shards!** How could he get out of this without seeming as if he were fishing for compliments?

"Look, can we start afresh?" he asked, looking slightly abashed. "I'd like to stay and talk for a while, see how you're really getting on here, if that's okay?" he asked, his smile widening a little more.

"Of...of course." Eliste wasn't sure what to do. She looked down at his hand holding hers, skin warm. She flushed and looked away, but didn't pull back. "I'm...I'm getting along well. I look forward to visits, of course."

"But the time in between? Are you keeping busy? I know from past experience that unless you are occupied - or your mind is, time passes so slowly, almost unbearably so."

"I keep myself occupied." Eliste assured him. "I quilt a lot. I can go outside now and see the garden and will do so more. I talk to people."
He was still holding her hand, still warming it even though the day was warm enough in its own right. It felt good. Why didn't he let her go?

Why didn't she pull away?

"So time is slipping by well enough then?" he asked, glancing down to were their hands were still joined. He had been holding her hand so long now, that to let it go may seem rude to her. "Before you know it the babe will be with you." he said, hoping this wouldn't conjure up bad memories for her.

"Yes." Eliste looked up from her hand and met Fog's gaze. She studied him for the briefest of moments before letting her gaze drop to the boat she held in the other, turning it. "I...I still don't have a name."

"For the babe?" he asked.

Eliste nodded slowly. She wasn't going to use her husband's name. No.
Never. "Neither for a boy nor a girl."

"It will come." he tried to reassure he, "When Linli was born, we had no name for her, and then when we looked at her, it just seemed she were Linli. I can't even remember who suggested the name first, Marilea or me."

"Marilea?" Eliste finally looked up and over, into Fog's eyes. "Your wife?"

"Yes, she was my wife." he nodded, he met her gaze for just a moment, then looked past her, at the flowing water, "That was when we were happy -
before..." he shook his head, returning to the present, not wishing to dwell on the past.

"Before...?" Eliste's hand curled around Fog's and she squeezed it gently, a silent encouragement.

"Before my accident. When I was...normal." Fog answered, not showing emotion one way or the other. It was in the past, it was also a simple statement of fact now. Something he couldn't change.

"Accident?" No one had mentioned an accident to her. "What happened?"

"You didn't notice?" he asked, genuinely surprised she hadn't seen the scar at the side of his face, but then, his hair hung quite low nowadays, so maybe she hadn't ben close enough to see it. As it was, she was sitting on the opposite side from his scar, at the moment.

"Well...I..." Eliste flushed. "I wasn't sure. I mean...I didn't know really. What...what happened?"

"I did something stupid." he said, "Fell in between the boat and the shoreline, and ...well my head was crushed."

Impulsively, Eliste let go of the boat, the figure resting in her skirt and reached up to trace her finger down his scar. She then realised what she was doing and pulled her hand back to her, cheeks flushing red and gaze dropping as she stated softly. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay." he said, for a moment lost in the sensation of someone touching him there. Marilea hadn't been able to look at him after the accident, and no one had ever touched his scar - well no one apart fromt he healers; she hadn't taken him by surprise with her actions. "It doesn't hurt anymore, but I have been told over and over, I'm not the same man."

"You're fine, Fog." Eliste stated firmly. "There's nothing wrong with you. Nothing at all. You...you deserve better." The last sentence was almost a whisper.

"I know I'm not the same." he said quietly, "But better?" he shook his head, "I don't think so. What woman would want me, the way I look now?"
he asked, not really expecting an answer. "Any woman could do better than me." He continued shaking his head, somewhat amused by her declaration, "But I thank you for saying that, Eliste."

"Any woman would be a fool to not want you." The words were said with more fierceness than Eliste had thought they would come out. She flushed again, her thumb absentmindedly caressing the side of his palm. "I mean...you...you are a good man. You are."

Her vehemance shocked him. Had he missed something? Was he so...what?
Dumb? No he must be mistaken, she couldn't... He looked down to their joined hands, and felt the soft caress of her thumb against his hand. He had been mistaken before, and besides, Nico, his cousin, had feelings for her. Slowly, he released her hand, "I'm a good man, yes..." he said, and an ache reared up inside him, "but not one any woman would want or need. I can't... I don't think properly, I couldn't give any woman the love and care she needs." the pain in his head reared as well, almost stronger than the ache that was in his chest - when it came to him, the reason he had continued to check upon Eliste since her settling at the waypoint.

He stumbled to his feet in confusion. "I'm sorry Eliste. I... I have to go." he turned away, his hand knuckling against his head trying to push the pain away.

Another flush graced Eliste's cheeks and she eased herself to a standing position, lacing her arms over her swollen stomach. "Will...will I see you...later then?" She asked, her voice soft and faltering.

"Maybe...I don't...yes...later." he shook his head in a confusion of thoughts, then walked quickly away.

Eliste watched Fog until he disappeared from sight, then bent down and picked up the quilt. Her cheeks still felt warm and taking up the boat merely reminded her of how he had held her hand. Her cheeks reddened even more. Did he...and Nico? Both? She closed her eyes, clutching the boat to her chest. She couldn't. Not either of them. Not any of them. She was married and a threat to those around her. No. She couldn't have what she wanted, even if she wanted it. Even if...it would not be. She would continue with her plans and that...

would be that...

Last updated on the June 28th 2008

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Realisations