You're Not _My_ Weyrwoman

Writers: Devin, Dana
Date Posted: 17th October 2005

Characters: Traelyn, N'vanik
Description: During her last day at Dragonsfall, Trae goes to see N'vanik
Location: Dragonsfall Weyr
Date: month 8, day 4 of Turn 3

N'vanik

N'vanik took a deep breath and forced himself into a calm expression
before opening the door. "I've heard some awfully interesting things about you today." He said as he leaned against the doorframe.

"I've heard some awfully interesting things about me, too," she replied
quietly. "Can I come in?"

He tilted his head to the side, considering. "Alright." He stepped aside
to let her pass.

Traelyn walked over to his couch and sat, her face looking drawn. She was
trying not to get back into that sharding mindframe of self-pity, but it
was getting harder and harder not to the longer she was here at
Dragonsfall. Both J'darin and T'moran had told her to go spend one more
day here, to pack up her weyr and to say her goodbyes. It wasn't easy.
But then again, she had known it wasn't going to be easy.

"I've never wanted this, N'vanik."

"Well, we get lots of things we don't want." He was doing his best to
convince himself that he _didn't care_. She was just a woman, and he had
plenty of those to choose from.

"It's just a harsh fact of life, isn't it?" she snapped, more to herself
than to him, but she regretted it and looked at him as he sat down.
Shards. Trae sighed. "Look...I didn't come here to rant and rave to you.
I just..."

"Came to say good-bye? How thoughtful."

She stiffened, her lip curling. "I don't need this crap from you,
N'vanik. If you're going to be like this, I might as well leave now."
She stood, her sharding temper looming too near the surface. She didn't
need to take this sharding crackdust from him! Nor from anyone else, for
that matter.

N'vanik smiled with an effort. "I'm sure you can't wait to get away from
this frozen rock and settle in to your new tropical paradise."

**Have you not heard a _word_ I just said?** Her jaw tightened as she
gazed at him, shoving her anger back just enough for it to be a dull
simmer as she tried to gain control. "You weren't listening to me."

"You didn't want this, but it happened anyway. You're a Weyrwoman now,
what a tragedy." He didn't want to fight with her, not really, but some
part of him thought it would be easier if they were mad at each other.

She glared at him, hating the bitter sarcasm in his voice.

He leaned back. "What did you expect? A tearful goodbye?"

"From _you_?" Trae didn't know what she'd expected from him. But why was she expecting _anything_? "No."

"Good. Then you won't be disappointed."

Her jaw clenched, her temper finally breaking through. "_Why_ are you
being such a sharding ass right now, N'vanik?" Her voice had risen, and
her eyes flashed down at him.

"Oh, so I'm being an ass, am I?" He asked calmly. He wouldn't allow
himself to be angry.

"How _else_ would you describe your behavior to me?"

"I didn't say I would describe it differently."

"You didn't answer my _sharding_ question!"

"Why should I?" He said with calculated coolness, "You're not _my_
Weyrwoman."

She stared down at him, her eyes burning with dark fire. "No. I'm your
lover."

He stared back, lost for words for a moment. Then he recovered. "Were." He said. "Past tense."

Something seemed to snap inside of her at his words. "You're right." Her voice was suddenly too quiet, too calm. "Were." When her gray eyes
finally flickered to him again, the fire was gone, replaced instead with
cold, hard stone. Then she turned from him, and began walking towards the door.

It hurt, and he was afraid if she turned around she would be able to see
that. N'vanik stood, watching her leave. He sighed and closed his eyes
briefly. "Trae!"

She paused at the door and looked over her shoulder at him.

"Congratulations." There was no irony in his voice this time.

Fighting back that ridiculous lump in her throat, she met his eyes for a
moment, searching them briefly, before slipping out of his weyr.

She didn't look back.

Last updated on the October 19th 2005

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You're Not _My_ Weyrwoman