An Old Friend (part 2 of 2)

Writers: Rochelle
Date Posted: 29th February 2008

Characters: R'syl
Description: R'syl gets a visit from an old friend, and they discuss his lost wife and children.
Location: River Bluff Weyr
Date: month 8, day 26 of Turn 4

R'syl was aware that she was watching him knowingly, both questions and answers in her eyes. She had been his closest friend while at Telgar weyr, a relationship he hadn't found much success with at River Bluff. As Weyrlingmaster he had little time to think about anything other than the weyrlings. There was always work to be done, and he found that... he missed it. The easy companionship of someone who didn't necessarily understand you, but accepted you for who you were and not the position you filled or stood for. He hadn't had that since he left, and consequentially found his mind turning to his estranged children more often. Sohhen had been keeping him apprised of major developments with them, but there was only so much that she do. But he wasn't going to ask. Not yet. He spent so much of his time with her asking about his children. It wasn't fair to spend their whole time together talking only about his children...

The silence had stretched to the second glass of wine when Sohhen finally spoke up, her expression sympathetic but her voice was soft. "It's okay to ask me about them, you know."

"Am I really that transparent?" He asked softly.

She shook her head. "No. but I know you, and you get that same faraway look in your eyes that you get when Usaeth's talking to you as when you're thinking of them. And I know what it feels like."

He sighed heavily. "I feel bad only talking about them. But..."

They're your children. I know." Sohhen finished for him. "Not a lot has happened recently that I know of. Sairros seems to have broken off with the kitchen worker that he was with -or at least I haven't seen them together lately. Thorom is still planning on Standing, but is doing pretty well in his studies according to his master. And Sairyl is still pretty popular with her wing. She's quite a looker. I hear some of the younger wingriders admiring her in the dining hall, and I think she's enjoying the attention."

"Are they... are any of them..." He trailed off, not certain how to phrase the question, but needing to hear the answer from her, even if he already knew. The letters on his desk had already warned him.

"No." Sohhen admitted with a sigh. "They aren't talking to each other, or to me. I've seen Sairros go to some pretty extreme lengths to ignore the other two though, so at least they're still acknowledging a family tie there, even if only by refusal."

"And nothing said about me." He said to himself, slumping back into the sofa, cradling his glass. "Maybe I shouldn't have backed off. Maybe I should have... "

"Should have what?" Sohhen asked with a raised eyebrow. "Forced the issue?
Well, you didn't, and you gave them space. And they've taken that space and are making themselves into real people. Decent human beings and a good dragonrider. They're growing up. You just had to let them go a little early." Her hand rested on his, and he stared unseeingly at the hand for a moment before meeting her gaze again. "And for that, I'm sorry." Sohhen said.

"It's just..." He sighed, looking desperately at her, knowing she would understand. "There's not a day that goes by that I don't think about them, wonder how they're doing. What things would have been like..."

"If Rosair hadn't turned into a murderer?" She finished when he trailed off. He winced at the word. "If Thread had not fallen, and eaten you and Oroma alive? Yes, things would be different. But no, that didn't happen.
They weren't orphaned completely that day. Thread left enough of you that they still have their father, no matter where he may be, and they know that if they need to that can come to you anytime. But it's going to take a while before the thought of family is no longer painful, R'syl. Believe me, I know." She said with a squeeze of her hand.

"Yes." He murmured into the stretching silence, his head bowed. "I know."

And he did. Sohhen had lost all three of her dragonrider children to Thread in the first few Falls, and her uncle had killed her younger brother by sabotaging the mine he was working in, killing twenty people in the collapse and escaping for months before he was caught. Her remaining family, siblings, children, and grandchildren, now orbited her like erratic comets. Some came in close enough for her to touch before whisking themselves away, others never came in close at all, but instead busily circled, unwilling to come close but unable to leave either.

"Faranth." He murmured to himself. "If only... Masai would have known what to do"

"Would she?" Sohhen asked, arching an eyebrow. "They way you talked about her, I didn't get the impression that she was particularly sensible about this sort of thing." She said dryly.

Her tone forced a sad chuckle from him. "No, she wasn't. But we'd argue, and eventually all the pros and cons would be laid out, and one or the both of us would go storming off before we came back later with a compromise and an apology."

"And this worked?" Sohhen asked doubtfully. R'syl nodded.

"It helped that we'd been married before I Impressed." He admitted quietly. "We kept thinking that we knew where the buttons were to press, but we changed, and they weren't always there."

Sohhen shook her head. "R'syl, that was almost 15 turns ago. You've got to let her go. Honor her memory all you want, but stop grieving. Your children are grown now, they don't need you to cling to her memory anymore. You don't need to cling to her anymore. She's not coming back."

"I know." He said absently, his eyes straying to the trunk in the corner and his heart contracting painfully as he remembered the swirl of Masair's dark hair, the life and strong will in her eyes. Hair that was echoed in every one of their children, the strong wills, the sheer confidence in life, visible through every eye. "I know."

Last updated on the March 2nd 2008

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An Old Friend (part 2 of 2)