A Touch of Guilt

Writers: Jane, Vix
Date Posted: 23rd November 2007

Characters: Arateyka, L'car
Description: Arateyka confronts L'car about his failure to visit his sister.
Location: River Bluff Weyr
Date: month 7, day 6 of Turn 4

Arateyka caught sight of the bluerider walking across the open space that served River Bluff Weyr as a Weyrbowl as she crossed the river from the smithy. "Have you been to visit Tamaca?" she asked, having jogged to catch up and then fallen into step beside him, breathing more deeply than perhaps she ought to have been for such a small run. She tugged absently at the waistband of her trousers and wondered if she was putting on weight or just getting lazy.

L'car stopped in mid-stride, both in deference to her appearance beside him and as he thought over the answer to that question. "I've . . . watched her with the hatchling, but she's been busy."

"You didn't stop to chat?" Arateyka asked, confirming what she thought the cautious wording meant.

He shrugged. "I had nothing to say."

Arateyka wondered why she hadn't expected such a response. "Perhaps she did, and you didn't give her the chance? Maybe she wanted to ask you something - since you were a weyrling once, yourself."

He looked away from her, not wanting to see her eyes and the accusation there that he felt within her words. "She had the Weyrlingmaster and his staff for that. What could I say that would be any different?"

The journeywoman poked her companion in the arm. "Wouldn't you rather ask somebody who wasn't 'staff'? Come on, L'car. What's the problem with Tamaca's Impression? Are you worried you're going to lose her too?"

His face looked as if it were made of stone, his expression and his voice hard. "She'll be fine. The staff can teach her the right ways. They can keep her from making mistakes."

"Nobody can make her really safe, though. Not in a Pass."

"I definitely can't make her safe - and looking at me will just remind her of that."

"Ahh. I don't think she would ever forget, anyway. Why don't you ask her next time, if she'd like you to visit?"

He mulled over that for a moment. "And what if she says no?"

"Then you'll be exactly where you are now, won't you?" Arateyka shrugged, trying not to sound too eager at his reasonable question in place of the outright rejection she had expected. "But if she says yes ..."

He thought about arguing it out with her, of telling her that knowing he had been rejected by his sister would be even worse than expecting that he would be rejected by his sister, but somehow he figured that Arateyka would have a response to that. "Maybe I'll stop and see her someday."

"Maybe someday soon before it's too late and she's graduated?"

This touched his guilt once again, knowing that the time was passing - that the first month of Jorth's weyrlinghood had already passed without him speaking to his sister or commenting on the green's progress. "Maybe. I'll try."

"That's great," Arateyka said, satisfied with the response since she suspected that was as much of a promise as she was going to get. She grinned. "I told Tey that the greens must not have had much choice, what with oldies like her and Tamaca Impressing after Standing so often."

He laughed, a rusty sound, and short-lived, not quite altering his expression. "I'm sure she appreciated that." He admitted to himself that he envied Ara and the easy relationship she had with her own sibling, something that he doubted he would ever know with Tam or his half-brothers.

"Sadly, teasing is wasted on her right now. She's got that silly 'Impressed rider' grin plastered all over her face most the time." Arateyka remembered when that had been how L'car had looked everytime she had caught sight of him. It seemed like a lifetime ago, but couldn't be more than four Turns.

}:I would like to visit the hatchling while she is still small.:{ The blue dragon's thoughts intruded into L'car's own musings.

The rider managed a wry small. "I suppose I should go and see for myself how Tam is faring. Now Tulenth is bothering me to visit as well."

For a moment Arateyka hesitated, realising that she hadn't considered that she might have an ally in L'car's dragon and making a mental note to follow that up later. "Now? Or tomorrow, on their 'restday'?"

"Now. . . now I have things to do." L'car's mind had gone blank as to what he might need to do next, but seeing his sister would take too much preparation and there was no way he could do it now. "I'll go tomorrow - Tulenth and I will go to see them tomorrow."

"Would you like me to visit Tey at the same time?"

That meant that he would actually have to visit Tam rather than just watch her, but would Tulenth expect that of him anyhow?

}:Yes,:{ was the blue dragon's reply to L'car's unvoiced question. }:But if that one goes as well, it will be easier for you.:{ L'car nodded. "Why not?"

"We'll meet after breakfast tomorrow, then?"

He cleared his throat. "Unless. . . unless you want to have breakfast together."

The journeywoman smith was surprised; pleasantly so. "I'd like that, L'car."

He had surprised himself by asking her to join him, but was even more so that she had accepted. "Well, then. . . I guess. . . I guess I'll meet you in the dining hall in the morning."

"I'll be there," she promised with a smile.

Last updated on the November 28th 2007

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A Touch of Guilt