What about me?

Writers: Kaysea
Date Posted: 11th April 2007

Characters: Treya
Description: After the embarrassing episode in the dining cavern, Treya wants to be by herself
Location: River Bluff Weyr
Date: month 3, day 10 of Turn 4
Notes: Follows on from "The Mating Flight Stalker"

}:Come home:{ Cenith intoned softly as Treya left the dining cavern. The green dragon backwinged gently onto the weyrledge, and made her way down the short corridor into their quarters. }:I am here and waiting for you:{ Cenith could sense her riders emotional angst and tried hard to send soothing thoughts to her, mindlinking earnestly to keep her rider composed.

**I'll be up shortly, I just need to walk.** Treya replied. The scene in the dining cavern was playing over and over in her head. How could she have been so stupid - again. Was there ever going to be a man _just_ for her?
Was she forever to be alone, used for a night here and there, but not to be committed to?

She could understand the ways of the Weyr as far as mating flights went, but she had seen plenty of relationships form amongst riders. Relationships that allowed the riders the freedom of mating flights, but commitment to one other person above all others for the rest of the time. But it seemed that it wasn't to be for her.

Was there something wrong with her?

}:No! There is nothing wrong with you Treya!:{ Ceniths protest resounded loudly in her head.

**Then why? Do I look like the rear end of a trundlebug?** Her hand reached up and covered her face as if to stop anyone seeing her face below her eyes.
**There must be something?** Her footfalls became quicker, as her pace picked up and she almost ran along the corridor. She could feel the hot tears building up behind her eyes, and wanted to be in her weyr before they slid down her cheeks.

**I know green riders have a reputation for being free and easy, but I don't want to be like that forever.**

}:And you won't be...:{ Cenith tried hard to reassure her, }:there is someone out there for you, you just have to be patient. And in the meantime, _I_ am here for you:{
**I know you are darling, and I would never change _us_ for anything in the entire world, but I still don't feel complete...** her thoughts faded back in time, **..in fact I don't think I ever have.** her memories tumbled one into the other.

She entered the weyr from the inside corridor, and made her way through from her own sleeping chamber into Ceniths cavern. The green lay on her couch, her head resting lightly on her forelegs. Treya walked across to her side, and lay her head against Ceniths shoulder, her arms circling the greens upper leg. **I want it all..I want too much.**

}:I have tried to meet your wishes, in the past:{
**I know you have, dear one.** Treya was grateful to the green, at least her choice of mates had been along similar lines to her own. Cenith had always asked Treya her preference of mate, before deciding which dragon would win her flight. But it didn't seem to matter who Treya, or Cenith, chose; things always ended up the same the morning following the flight.

_He_ already had a mate.

_He_ wasn't into permanent relationships.

She wasn't _his_ type.

It was _just_ a mating flight - no strings.

Any excuse, any excuse at all that they could think of, and _she_ had heard them all.

And the latest one... It couldn't have _all_ been down to the dragon pairing. He couldn't have shown that much care, that much tenderness, that much _passion_ if it was all just the dragons. Could he? Was that all she was good for? Expending _his_ passion, his needs? She felt like yelling.
WHAT ABOUT ME? WHAT ABOUT MY NEEDS?

But no one had ever cared about her needs before - why change that fact now?

}:I care about your needs:{ Ceniths words were like a caress. They came softly, the inner voice full of warmth and tenderness.

Treya climbed up on the dragon couch and lay down between Ceniths forelegs, her head resting against her dragons chest. The comforting beat of Cenith's heart beneath her head was calming; the warm, musky scent of the dragon enveloped her as she lay back.

**I know you do, and I will be forever grateful to B'vran for finding me that day at the Minehold. Without him, I would never have found you.** She sent warm, reassuring thoughts to her lifemate, but had to put up a wall in her mind, to block out the other thoughts that still assailed her. How could she explain to her dragon the need for human companionship? How could she make Cenith understand her need for the touch of another human being; one who cared as much for her as she cared for them?

Once again her thoughts tumbled one after the other; memories flashed back and forth through her head - would she always be searching for something that was just out of reach?

She gave a yawn, not even aware of doing it. Her head nodded once or twice, as it became heavier on Ceniths foreleg - sleep overcame her; her dreams echoing her wakeful thoughts as shadowy men floated back and forth across her minds eye. Asleep - she still searched.

Last updated on the April 11th 2007

Welcome to Triad Weyrs!

What about me?