Ambitious

Writers: Jane
Date Posted: 20th November 2006

Characters: Jh'slaen
Description: Jh'slaen thinks about life as a dragonrider.
Location: River Bluff Weyr
Date: month 13, day 29 of Turn 3

"You have no ambition," F'naren had complained.

Jh'slaen grinned at the memory as he settled down in the deepest, darkest recesses of his weyr. In Saradath's weyr, more correctly, because his rider quarters off to one side of the huge cavern were too close to the cliff-face for the temperature to be much different from that outside. But at the very back of the cave, behind Saradath's rock-rubbed-smooth wallow, there was some relief from the heat.

If it was possible to bask in coolness, then that's what the young greenrider was doing.

Along with the basking went a few other things; none of them particularly active. Sitting in the broad wooden seat with his feet on the footstool he was also providing a resting place for Autumn, though soon the firelizard would wake from his nap and make a pest of himself.
And thinking. That was the other thing Jh'slaen was doing in the dimly-lit coolness. Thinking about F'naren's complaint that he had no ambition.

It was true, after a fashion, but there wasn't much of a choice for greenriders. No Weyrleaderships, and very little wing rank. If one's dragon didn't show any skill at Searching (and Saradath had never taken an interest _anybody_ other than her rider and F'naren), then there was no place for ambition. Not in his role as a rider.

If he had had some crafter background perhaps he could have persevered with that, against all odds making journeyman or master while still giving his all for his Weyr and Pern. Or, perhaps not. The unlikely scenario was made more so by Jh'slaen's background as a field hand on his father's cot hold.

"Journeyman field hand," he said aloud, smiling at the words.

And he did have ambitions. Goals, perhaps. Or hopes? Things he wanted out of life - the uncertainty of life in a Pass notwithstanding.
Sometime, not right now, he wanted a good relationship with somebody; somebody other than F'naren. With a lover, a weyrmate. And children he could care for. F'naren's most likely, but if there was a bluerider in his future, he could stand to be an 'uncle' or a second father to children he fathered.

Those were ambitions of a sort, and wanting those things should count as being ambitious. And another ambition - wanting to always enjoy being a dragonrider.

Jh'slaen felt himself wince at the thought. Not 'enjoy', exactly.
Certainly having Saradath was an indescribable pleasure but what went with it in this unexpected Pass … It wasn't enjoyment he meant, but something else. Some combination of excitement at the challenge and pride in the performance made him happy with having Impressed now, of all times in Pern's recent history. Though he would have had nothing to compare his situation with, he couldn't help but feeling that Impressing twenty or thirty Turns ago would have been a less appealing prospect.

As expected Autumn stirred and got to his feet. Still half asleep the brown stretched; fore quarters first, and then hind. Then – and Jh'slaen was already leaning as far back in the chair as he could – the wings. Flap, flap, flap. A quick check to make sure he was in the right lap, and then back to sleep.

If it hadn't been Turns Beginning and if he hadn't had people to meet with later in the evening, Jh'slaen might just have abandoned his thinking and opted for sleep as his firelizard and dragon had.

Last updated on the November 23rd 2006

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Ambitious