Figured It Was Time

Writers: Dana, Devin
Date Posted: 1st October 2006

Characters: N'vanik, Traelyn
Description: Traelyn goes to visit N'vanik, seeking some kind of closure or reassurance, but ends up leaving with more anger and doubt
Location: Dragonsfall Weyr
Date: month 13, day 22 of Turn 3

N'vanik

}:Loseth is down there,:{ Nyith told Traelyn as she eloquently dipped to catch another air thermal, her bright wings fanning out to their full extent as she lazily spiraled down towards the Weyrlake. }:I am telling him we are coming.:{ She arched her neck proudly as they approached the Heights, bugling a throaty greeting to the watchdragon, knowing that _her_
voice--a queen's voice--would attract the attention of the bronzes.

Even though she was mated with one of the finest bronze dragons of Dolphin Cove, Nyith still couldn't help but flirt coyly with any and all other male dragons she came across.

Traelyn smiled a little at her gold's usual antics, but it didn't quite reach her eyes. Not today. She stroked a gloved hand lovingly down Nyith's neck as she glanced around. A few sunning dragons crowned the rocky spires, but most of them were splashing about down in the water, warbling and chortling to each other. Ah...and there was Loseth, apart from the rest. She and Nyith were close enough now where she could see N'vanik perched on his back.

Very aware that she had Loseth's attention, Nyith threw back her head, showing off as she smoothly backwinged to land on the sand before him.
Traelyn wished she had her dragon's unshakable confidence. But after not hearing from N'vanik in practically a month... Well, it was hard to feel truly confident about where she stood with him. The feeling was foreign to her, and she didn't like it. Not at all.

Trying not to let her swaying emotions show, the young Weyrwoman alighted, taking off her helmet and goggles and shucking her gloves aside. As Nyith settled herself primly in the sand--after all, it was a bronze's duty to come and greet _her_--Traelyn walked over to the edge of the water and waited, her eyes meeting N'vanik's.

**I don't suppose you mind if I postpone your oiling?** N'vanik asked his dragon.

}:Oiling can wait:{ Loseth answered as he made his way toward the golden Queen. N'vanik slipped off his neck, landing neatly a few feet from Traelyn. "Hey." He tried to sound casual.

**That's it?** "Hey yourself." She shifted, already uncomfortable with this. Shards--she was _never_ this way! Lifting her chin, she tried to ignore those sharding flutterings of unease as she met his eyes again. She'd be damned if she was to be the one who broke first.

"So . . . came by for a visit?" he asked. She seemed unsure, and he felt unsure.

"Yeah," she replied quietly. "Hadn't seen you for a while now, considering everything. Figured it was time." More like past time...

"I don't have a lot of time. Loseth needs to be oiled, and I need to get back to Talryne." Then, because that was sure to give her the wrong idea, he added, "I wish I had more time, I've missed you Trae. But she needs me." It was frighening how much things had changed in such a short time.

Her jaw slowly tightened. "If you really had 'missed me', N'vanik, I think you would have at least tried to make an effort to come see me--even for a short while. Or maybe even have Loseth bespeak Nyith. But I guess now that you've gotten what you needed out of me, it doesn't matter, does it?" Shard it, was she just supposed to _forget_ what happened that night sevendays ago? That night when he'd cried in her arms...when they'd come to some sort of understanding about each other?

He bit back his first response: **Not everything is about you, Trae.**
"Alright, I suppose I could have had Loseth send a message." It sounded weak, and he knew it.

Her frustration rose another notch. "You suppose?" Her emotions were irrational, pulling at her from different directions. She _knew_ the girl had lost her dragon, and was suffering terribly for it. She _knew_ for some reason she'd singled N'vanik out to help her through this time of trauma. But right now, all Traelyn could concentrate on was _her_ hurt, her sharding sense of lonliness that had been creeping into her thoughts all month, and how he didn't seem to care _at all_. But what had she been expecting from him, really? From _him_, of all people? As she glared into his eyes, she knew she couldn't hide the way she was feeling, but was far from caring.

"Trae, what is it?" Was she really that hurt about not hearing from him? Did she really care about him, or did she just care about the attention he gave her? That thought had been sitting in the back of his mind for a while now and he'd done his best to ignore it, not liking the other thoughts and worries it brought up.

"Nothing," she snarled. "Just...nothing. Forget it, N'vanik." If he didn't get it by now, then it sharding wasn't worth explaining, was it?
Grabbing her helmet off the ground with one hand and snatching her gloves off the rock with her other, she told him, "I'll just go. You obviously have a lot to do, and I'm just wasting your time."

"You're not wasting my time." N'vanik took a step toward her but stopped himself from reaching out. "I was just trying to say we can't sneak off for a few candlemarks."

Something inside of her snapped, and her temper raged to the surface. "You think that's what I want from you right now? _Sex_?"

_Everything_ he said was coming out wrong. "Well of course you don't want that _now_," N'vanik said, rolling his eyes. After sevendays of worrying about Talryne, spending most of his time taking care of her and trying not to upset her, he just couldn't deal with someone else being needy. Especially needy _and_ angry. "You're too busy getting mad at me and not telling me what you want."

"What I _want_--" Teeth clenched, she rubbed a gloved hand across her brow. All she'd wanted was to see him, spend time with him. She felt like she needed it since that one night...some kind of closure, or to touch on that understanding that had passed between them, again. It was important to her, though she hardly understood why. Shards, the sharding mind healers of Pern were right--women got too emotional about things like this. Too damn emotional. While the men... "Just forget it. What I want can't be as important as what Talryne needs." And it was probably true. Jamming her other glove on, she took a step backwards towards Nyith, whose eyes were whirling with concern.

"It isn't." Was his cold response. Then, regreting his words, he added, "But that doesn't mean I don't care, alright? I do care, Trae."

"And you sure know how to show it," she growled, words dripping with heavy sarcasm as she took another step back, Nyith moving to meet her, dipping a foreleg. Half a sharding Turn of knowing him, and she _still_ expected too much from him. She should know better.

**What do you expect? Me to drop everything and sweep you off your feet? You should know better than that by now.** He sighed. "See you around, Trae." He didn't have the energy to argue.

Traelyn ground her teeth. His insensitivity hurt. Shards, it hurt. Hurt more than she should sharding let it. "Yeah. Fine." Quickly she swung up onto Nyith before anything else she would probably later regret could escape past her lips. Sensing her rider's need to get away from this place, the queen sprang into the sky, her large, sweeping wings beating, sand swirling in their wake as they rose higher and higher. Traelyn knew one thing for certain: it had been a mistake coming here.

And she wouldn't be coming back to see him anytime soon.

Last updated on the January 5th 2007

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Figured It Was Time