Not Enough, but Everything
Dragonsfall Weyr
Amber Hills Hold
Vintner Hall
Healer Hall
Hidden Meadows
Dolphin Cove Weyr
Dolphin Hall
Emerald Falls Hold
Harper Hall
Printer Hall
Green Valley Hold
Leeward Lagoon Hold
Barrier Lake Weyr
Sunstone Seahold
Citrus Bay Hold
Writers: Devin, Noli
Date Posted: 3rd June 2025
Characters: D'ren, Aynia
Description: D'ren and Aynia bond over a common struggle.
Location: Barrier Lake Weyr
Date: month 7, day 1 of Turn 12
D'ren slid into the seat across from Aynia at lunch. She was one of his quieter wingmates and he didn't want to bother her, but he still wanted to be polite. "Hi Aynia. How are you doing?"
Aynia smiled brightly at D'ren, flashing perfectly straight teeth and cocking her head ever so slightly. "Hey, D'ren! I'm doing ok. I'm glad to be in out of the cold, that's for sure." She winked playfully. She
didn't know much about D'ren; they had never socialized outside of drills and Fall. "How are you today?"
"I'm doing well." He thought a moment before he said, "How do you feel about the leadership change?"
Aynia shrugged noncommittally. In truth, she had been so lost in her own sadness over the past Turn that she had had little reaction to the events and politics of the Weyr. She had, of course, mourned the death of Riyanth as every other dragonrider had. But she had paid little
attention to the impacts that the changes in leadership may have
caused daily life. She was in survival mode.
"I think Q'vettan is doing pretty well, considering." She gave D'ren another sunny smile though it did not quite reach her eyes. Honestly, Aynia was just hoping the conversation was not a strange pickup line. He was, after all, a bronzerider. "Did you apply for any of the new wingsecond positions?"
He shook his head. "I'm not really interested in all that responsibility."
For the first time in quite a while, Aynia actually felt her interest pique. A bronzerider not vying for rank? It was rare enough in her (admittedly limited) experience to cause her to see the young man across from her from a slightly different lens. The look in his eye
stirred something... familiar... in her core. When she spoke again, she had dropped all the pseudo-flirtation that she naturally relied on to keep people at a distance.
"Is everything alright, D'ren?" She didn't want to push him; she was all too familiar with not wanting to talk about oneself, especially with virtual strangers. But something was drawing her to this
dark-haired, polite man who wasn't scanning her like a particularly juicy roasted wherry. "I mean... I know we haven't really spoken much, but..." She let the sentence trail off unfinished.
The corner of his mouth turned up. "Because all bronzeriders are supposed to be ambitious, right? Menanth certainly is, I just . . . hold him back." Like he almost had during Imbeth's Flight.
"I...." Aynia struggled to respond. "Sorry, I meant no offense."
"Sorry." D'ren shook his head. "Sometimes I think people are judging
me for not being . . . bronzerider enough, I guess. But I think I'm more judging myself." He poked at his food.
Aynia felt guilt and regret, her most constant friends as of late, creeping over her at the bronzerider's words. Staring down at her own plate, she willed the stinging sensation in her eyes away. Self-
judgement... that was another familiar emotion.
"I can relate to that," she said softly. "Sometimes I wonder why Nalath chose me." She instinctively reached out, briefly touching D'rens arm, and withdrew her hand just as quickly. "But our dragons
_did_choose us, D'ren. And they will always be there for us. Even if other people aren't."
He gave her a slightly sad smile. "I keep feeling like I'm not enough. Like I'm letting people down."
She nodded, acknowledging his pain. She knew from her own experience that cliche responses would not soothe the hurt of a heart plagued by self-critism and doubt. "I hear you." Her heart ached for this sad, beautiful boy who reminded her so much of herself. Hesitantly, she
reached out again, resting her hand on his arm for the second time. This time, she did not withdraw it.
She sought his gaze. "You are everything to Menanth, D'ren. I know that doesn't make it all better, truly I do. But _he_ knows you're enough. Maybe, if we could see ourselves as our dragons see us..." She gave his arm a tiny squeeze, trying to impart all of the comfort and camaraderie she felt that could not be adequately expresses in words. Then she withdrew her hand again.
"I don't know everything you've gone through. But I do know one thing. I've never met a bronzerider that I've appreciated as much as I do you right now." She gave him the faintest of smiles. "For whatever the opinion of a greenrider is worth."
"You're very sweet," D'ren said, his chest tight. "I know we don't know each other well but if there's anything you need to talk about, I'd be happy to listen." Aynia clearly had her own burdens weighing
her down.
"I'd... like that," she said softly. "It would be nice to have a friend here." Aynia closed her eyes. She was not yet ready to give voice to the specifics of the nightmares that plagued her. The fear of further loss, further abandonment, was exactly why she had delayed any _real_ attachments in her short time at the Barrier Lakes. But she hoped that, in time, she may be able to let this kind man in. Talking through the past may help. At least, that's what the mindhealers had said.
Opening her eyes and rising, she fought the familiar urge to flirt and quip her way back to a more conformable mental state. Instead, she gave D'ren a look of genuine gratitude. "Thanks for sitting down with me today, D'ren. We should hang out more." And gathering her forgotten plate, she shot him a tiny wave before she turned and walked away.
Last updated on the June 8th 2025