Half of Her Heart

Writers: Heather
Date Posted: 13th April 2024

Characters: Rasme, Casmari, C'ris
Description: Rasme has trouble saying goodbye to Casmari as C'ris takes their daughter to Dragonsfall to be a Candidate.
Location: Barrier Lake Weyr
Date: month 9, day 15 of Turn 11
Notes: Mentioned: D'men, Xasvi

Rasme

Casmari

Rasme had never felt this way before. She had never been _sad_ to see
one of her children leave. Children were born, they grew up, they
left, and created their own lives. That was the order of things and
Rasme had never had an issue with it.... Until now. Until this child.
Until Casmari.

As she watched her last child packing her things into her rucksack,
Rasme's insides physically _ached_. Is this what parents felt when
their children were Searched and sent to the Weyr to possibly never be
seen again?

The goldrider had never truly been able to empathize with what holders
must feel when their children left until this moment.

}:You seem unusually... maudlin. And dramatic. What is wrong with
you?:{ Piketh inquired, observing her rider as a curious inventor
might observe at an experiment.

**Nothing!** Rasme snapped mentally.

}:Flash of rage. Interesting,:{ Piketh mused, adding it to her mental
checklist. Human emotions were fascinating, the gold thought. They
changed so rapidly and humans were so concerned with hiding them all
in layers of other emotions, as if that would somehow make the root
emotion disappear or lessen.

"Mom?"

Rasme jolted as she realized she'd been wrapped up in Piketh's thoughts.

"Yes?"

"Are you sure you're alright with me going to Dragonsfall?" Casmari
asked again. She'd lived her entire life with her mother. She'd even
moved into Rasme's weyr once Rasme had become officially retired from
active dragonrider duties after Piketh's injury.

"It's fine. I told you that already," Rasme answered quickly.

Casmari smiled a little, a smile that looked just like her father's.
"I know _it's_ fine, I am asking if _you_ are fine." She knew her
mother better than anyone. Rasme hated emotions and affection. She
preferred looking at everything through a clinical, intellectual lens.

Rasme bristled, feeling her words clogging in her throat.

}:It's okay. Just say the words,:{ Piketh coaxed.

"I'm... I'm..."

}:Words, my dear rider. Words.:{

"I'm going to miss you," she said, her throat feeling impossibly
tight. "Who will look after you at Dragonsfall?"

Casmari crossed the room, taking her mother's shoulders in her hands.
"I'm _nineteen_, Mom. Most people leave their parents a lot sooner
than this, you know? And besides, Dad is at Dragonsfall and so is
Xasvi. It's not like I'll be without family."

"You won't be without family, but I will," Rasme said, annoyed by the
flash of tears that pressed behind her eyes.

"That's not true. D'men is here."

"It's not the same," Rasme said quickly, feeling a spike of guilt even
as she did. She loved D'men. He was her firstborn, but he had been
born during a time in Rasme's life when she'd had an active career as
a dragonrider to worry about. Rugatha had done all of D'men's raising,
while Rasme had popped in here and there to support him for
birthingdays.

"You could come to Dragonsfall," Casmari pointed out.

Rasme rolled her eyes. "You sound like your father."

"I know," Casmari grinned. "But we both know you won't come to
Dragonsfall. And you know why?"

"Why?"

"Because your work is your first love and top priority and that's
_okay_, Mom. Really. You're a _dragonhealer_ and Piketh's authority as
a gold makes her essential to helping wounded dragons. Barrier Lake
needs you, but... Now it's time for me to go make a life, like you
did. You taught me how to do that."

Rasme couldn't find the words, so she pulled Casmari to her for a
tight embrace instead. "I love you, Cas," she whispered in her
daughter's ear.

"I love you too, Mom."

"Hello the weyr!" a voice called, breaking the rare and tender moment.

Rasme's eyes glared daggers at C'ris as he strode into her weyr.

"Uh oh," the bluerider said, holding his hands up in self-defense.
"You've got your angry eyes on. Those were the eyes you used when
Weyrlings were caught out after curfew."

Casmari grinned as she watched her parents. "I'll be waiting outside,
Dad." She slung her bag over her shoulder and walked out to where his
blue Vemyth was waiting.

"Come here," C'ris said, holding his arms open.

Rasme flew into his arms despite her hostile greeting and wiped her
eyes on the front of his tunic.

"I know, I know," C'ris said, stroking the prickly goldrider's back.
"It's hard, isn't it? Watching them grow up."

"Listen here, bluerider, I want reports on her every sevenday. And
don't let her get distracted by the other Candidates at Dragonsfall.
She's too special to become sidetracked."

"Ah, spoken like a mother and a bossy goldrider," he sighed
affectionately, reaching up a hand to brush his knuckles across her
cheek tenderly. "It will be fine, Rasme. She's ready."

"She might be, but I'm not," Rasme huffed. "I wish I could be more
like you right now."

C'ris's eyebrows shot up with amusement. "What's this now? A lofty
goldrider wishing to trade places with a humble bluerider harper?"

"Oh, hush, it has nothing to do with you being a bluerider. You're all
easy-going and warm feelings and let's-just-have-a-good-time vibes,"
she said this while wiggling her fingers as if the 'vibes' were
literally floating around him in a tangible manner.

"Oh no, my dear, _all_ of what you're describing is the very _essence_
of being a bluerider. It's why you love me and not some
hyper-ambitious, glory-seeking, wants-to-be-in-charge bronzerider."
C'ris's smile was unrepentant.

They both knew it was true.

"Here's a silver lining for you," C'ris said, his arms wrapped snugly
around her waist, pulling her up against him. "Now that Casmari will
be at Dragonsfall, your weyr will be nice and empty, and I'll be able
to stop by tonight without worries of any interruptions," he purred,
his lips descending to her neck.

"Is that a promise?" she asked sulkily.

"Oh, it's a promise," he assured her.

"You guuyyss," Casmari groaned, poking her head back into the weyr.
"Cut that out so I can get to Dragonsfall!"

C'ris laughed, pressing a kiss to Rasme's forehead. "See? She's your
daughter. All bossy and everything."

Rasme waved the two of them off. "Go on then. I'll see you later, bluerider."

"Yes, you will, lady goldrider."

She watched as C'ris and Casmari settled themselves on Vemyth's
neckridge, and then she lifted a single hand of farewell as the blue
sprang into the air, and then disappeared /between/, taking half of
her heart with him.

Last updated on the April 26th 2024

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Half of Her Heart