Everyone Gets Scared

Writers: Halyonix, Heather
Date Posted: 8th April 2024

Characters: M'trel
Description: B'rex comes to M'trel to get some fears off his chest
Location: Dolphin Cove Weyr
Date: month 13, day 5 of Turn 11

Notes:
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B'rex's knees were trembling, his heart hammering in his chest as he
crossed the Weyrbowl in the pre-dawn light, and knocked on M'trel's
office door. He knew it was early, but he also knew the Wingthird
arrived early to his office on Threadfall days.

"Um, M'trel?" he squeaked after knocking on the door.

It was the squeak that confused M'trel, not the knock. He cocked his
head at the door, then said, "Come in," and wondered who else was up
this early and what did they want? He glanced to his right, at the cup
of klah near his elbow, and silently thanked forethought for acquiring
that before settling down to the morning's troubles.

B'rex entered the Wingthird's office. He'd chosen M'trel because the
thought of going to the Weyrleader, his _Wingleader_, had been far too
intimidating.

"Sorry to disturb you, sir," he said a bit shyly. "Do you have a minute?"

M'trel guessed that from here on out, now that he was a leader, saying
"no" to such a question was just delaying a problem for later. So, he
answered, "I do, have a seat," and mentally set aside the next few
minutes for the young brownrider, even as he physically moved aside
the paperwork he had been working on.

"I feel... I feel like I'm going to throw up. I don't know if I can do
it - fight Thread that is," he blabbed as soon as his butt touched the
chair. B'rex had Impressed when he was fourteen, and only just now had
he aged into a fighting Wing. Flying in the Queen's Wing had been
safe, but a _real_ fighting Wing? During a _real_ Threadfall?

Jitters. First Threadfall jitters.

Oh, how M'trel remembered _those_.

}: I do not, :{ Noruith remarked, unperturbed but curious as to how
such a thing might occur.

**You wouldn't. You were made to fight Thread. It's in your blood.
Humans, on the other hand...** It wasn't that his species was
cowardly; it was just that they preferred to take less risky measures.
Usually.

M'trel gave B'rex a sympathetic smile. "You're going to do just fine,"
he said. It wasn't an empty statement. He didn't say it just to
flippantly assure the teen. He meant it. "Do you remember the first
time you went /between/?" he asked. "How did you feel about that?"

B'rex shuddered, thinking back to the first time he and Iviath had
taken that first jump /between/. "I _did_ throw up before that lesson.
The thought of accidentally getting some small detail of the
visualization wrong..." He trailed off, shaking his head. All riders
knew what could happen if you got the visualization wrong. "But...we
did it."

"And you'll do it again," M'trel said encouragingly. "Look, when you
were learning to /between/, Iviath took the lead from you. Seeing
where to go. But when it comes to Thread, he's going to take the lead.
Dragons _know_ what to do. So, like he trusted you when it came to
/betweening/, you'll trust him on Thread." He made a face, like he was
trying to figure something out internally for a moment. "It's hard, us
riders. We're used to being in charge, I think. But a dragonrider bond
is a partnership. Equal give and take. So we have to trust them during
Thread."

"But what if.... What if I throw up, you know, while we're up there?"
The idea of embarrassing himself like that in front of the Weyr was
enough to make him even _more_ nauseous.

"You wouldn't be the first rider to do so," M'trel said, aiming for
empathy but missing. He made a face. "It's not the most glamorous of
images but it happens. There was a weyrling bronzerider in my class
that did it just about every time we were practicing /between/ those
first few sevendays until one day I think his dragon just yelled at
him to stop doing it."

The story actually made B'rex chuckle, which helped ease the little
ball of anxiety in the pit of his stomach... a little. "What was your
first time fighting Thread like?" he asked M'trel.

B'rex luckily did not hear Noruith's mental snort of amusement. M'trel
wasn't sure if the dragon remembered that far back but he smiled
anyway. "I was a bundle of nerves, just like you. Nearly got hit by
Thread at least three times. I'm pretty sure Noruith just stopped
listening to me inwardly panicking about everything. He didn't break a
sweat." Some of the more toxic masculine riders might say that such an
admission made M'trel a weaker leader but the brownrider didn't think
that at all. Everyone got scared at least once in their life. What
mattered was how you handled it.

The young brownrider smiled at his Wingthird's story, thinking
Eserfeth might have to do the same thing.

}:You'll be fine,:{ Eserfeth insisted, feelings of great confidence.
}:I was born to fight Thread, and you have trained excellently on how
to put firestone in my mouth and stay in the stirrups. You can do
it.:{

"Okay," B'rex said, expelling the rest of his nerves as best he could.
"I think I'm ready now. Thank you, sir. For listening."

M'trel smiled softly. Maybe he'd be okay at this whole leadership thing. One rider at a time. "Of course. Let's go defend Pern, shall we?"

"Yes, sir," B'rex replied with a jaunty salute.

Last updated on the April 11th 2024

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Everyone Gets Scared