We Need To Talk (1/2)

Writers: Dana, Devin
Date Posted: 14th March 2006

Characters: N'vanik, Traelyn
Description: Traelyn confronts N'vanik about why he left.
Location: Dragonsfall Weyr
Date: month 10, day 25 of Turn 3

N'vanik

Traelyn ground her teeth, forcing her face to smooth into a mask of cool,
neutral expression. It didn't work as well as she would've liked. Taking
in a deep breath, she let it out slowly before taking a step into the
over-crowded dining cavern.

Shards. It felt like _ages_ since she'd been in here.

She raised her chin, determined not to let her unease show as she moved
throughout the throng of people. She was aware that some recognized her.
She was aware of the whispers and nudges behind her back. She was aware
that the news of her being here would spread quicker than Thread seared.

But she chose to ignore everything.

Everything save the bronzerider who sat brooding alone, his blonde head
bent over a mug of ale.

He didn't even hear her approach - didn't even see her until she slid onto
the bench beside him, her lips close to his ear. "We need to talk."

N'vanik was so lost in thought that the words made him jump. Turning to
see Traelyn beside him was an even bigger shock. "What are you doing
here?"

"I told you. We need to talk."

He glanced to the side and saw a few people looking at them. "About what?"
he whispered harshly. **That's it. I'm never going to the dining caverns again.**

At his tone, her eyes grew steely, as hard as flint. Was the scorching man _serious_? "Don't play dumb with me, N'vanik. I'm not in the sharding mood, all right? You know perfectly well _what_."

He sighed. "Fine. But let's go to my weyr, if that's alright with you, _Weyrwoman_."

Her upper lip curled slightly at his tone, wondering why she was even putting _up_ with this. He obviously didn't want her here, and their situation would only get worse if they kept riding out on their irritation and frustration.

Wouldn't it?

With a sharp nod, she swung her legs over the bench and rose fluidly to her feet. She was aware of more pairs of eyes on them now, and their probing gazes were beginning to prick at the feelings building within her.

N'vanik led the way to his weyr, trying to ignore the curious looks. Let them think what they wanted. But it did bother him, which made him more determined to pretend it didn't bother him. The walk to his weyr was made in uncomfortable silence. When they reached the door, N'vanik opened it and bowed mockingly to Traelyn.

This time her snarl wasn't silent as she stalked past him. When she whirled around to face him, her gaze was fierce. "Don't give me that, N'vanik."

He closed the door behind them. "Just trying to respect your position."

"No. You were being a smartarse." Sharding prick. He hadn't given her this particular attitude since the last time she'd been alone at Dragonsfall with him.

"You wanted to talk. So talk." Seeing her standing in his weyr was stirring memories he would rather not think about.

Her dark eyes flashed. "What, so _you_ don't think we need to talk after the way you left me those sevendays ago? Are you too much _above_ me to even offer a damned explaination for some of the things you said?"

"Above you?!" N'vanik yelled. "Did you even listen to what I said?"

"Yeah, I listened." Her voice had gone too quiet. "You didn't make any sharding _sense_." She glared at him. "What I got was that, despite everything, you decided to suddenly pass judgement on yourself, and on me.
On us! Whatever us is. And I _don't get it_."

His jaw tightened. "Do I have to sharding spell it out for you?!" Why couldn't she have just stayed away?

"You don't have to," she snarled. "I think I got it figured out pretty scorching well. "You say I 'deserve better'. Whatever _that_ means. But are you sure you're just not sharding backing out because of your arrogance and your sharding pride?" Her voice had risen, and her temper was loosed. Lately her feminine pride had taken far too many blows, and this was the last straw. "What about Sarian? Apparently you're good enough for _her_! The sex is that good, is it?" She couldn't stop the flow of words she threw at him. Damn it, she wanted him to hurt as much as she was hurting!

"Why do you keep bringing up Sarian?"

She blinked, taken aback by the sudden whirlwind topic change. Her jaw tightened. "What?"

N'vanik tilted his head. "You keep bringing up Sarian. Comparing yourself to her."

Damn. She'd fallen right into this one. "I'm not comparing myself to anyone," she growled softly.

"Oh? Then what are you doing?"

"I'm sharding trying to figure out why your sharding pride won't allow you me, but others! If you're such a terrible, terrible person, then aren't _they_ too good for you as well?" Her tone had deepened into bitter sarcasm. Traelyn couldn't believe that was his scorching reason. She couldn't, because it _didn't make sense_! "Or maybe you just run off your baser emotions. Go to whatever woman who makes your pants tight, lie to her, charm her, win your way into her bed, have a couple good rolls and then _leave_ because you've had your fill!"

"Oh, I wish! I _wish_ it was that easy! All I wanted was a good time, but then you . . . _you_!" He couldn't finish, didn't even know how to.

"What _about_ me?" she snarled, her hands fisting at her sides.

He opened his mouth, closed it, ran a hand through his hair. "I try to do the right thing, and it gets thrown in my face. _Again_! Why do I bother?"

"What _right_ thing? How can you call any of this _right_, N'vanik?"

"I'm trying to think of someone besides myself. How terribly _wrong_ of me! How prideful! How selfish!" He wanted to tell her to get out, but he couldn't make himself say the words.

"How is sharding pushing me away and not giving any scorching explainations thinking of _me_? You come to my weyr and tell me that you got into a fist fight with my friend. And then, after relaying that whole damned scenario, you give me a cryptic message and take off before you even sharding _explain_ yourself. Did you expect me to just move on and forget? Did you expect me to just drop it and pretend it never happened? I _told_ you I wasn't going to play that game anymore. I told you!"

It felt like the walls were closing in on him. "What do you want from me!"
N'vanik screamed.

It was the scream that seared through her, piercing her anger. And she advanced on him, her eyes burning with dark fire. "Damn it, N'vanik, I want you to drop the sharding charade and treat me like a man treats a woman." She was so close to him...she could feel his breath, the heat through his clothes. Her eyes were lifted to his, daring him to take the challenge.

That was it. He was tired of being lonely, and depressed, and hurt. Regret could come later. Right now he wanted to give in. To be selfish. N'vanik pulled Trae toward him and kissed her.

Her response to him was immediate, passionate. One hand reached up to fist in his hair, the other clutching at his tunic hard enough to tear. All of her hurt and jealousy, bitterness and anger flowed through her and out as their kiss deepened.

He held her close, moving them both toward the couch. His hands were working at the fastenings of her tunic. Nothing mattered but his need for her.

Last updated on the March 18th 2006

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We Need To Talk (1/2)