The Right Decision For Her

Writers: Avery
Date Posted: 25th March 2016

Characters: Kapera
Description: Kapera returns to the Weyr after Threadfall.
Location: Dolphin Cove Weyr
Date: month 4, day 24 of Turn 8
Notes: Mentioned: Cyradis, J'nus
Notes: Follows "Not What She Wanted" and "Planning Ahead"

Kapera

Threadfall was finally finished. It felt like it had been forever, even
though this one had been a bit lighter and shorter both than usual. Kapera
felt grimy and exhausted, covered in sweat and in little bits of char from
the few pieces of Thread that had made it down to the lowest level to be
charred. Not that goldriders got as covered as the mid-level wings did,
since they had their own dust and the dust from the higher level, but no
matter where you flew, there was always Fall dust that wound up covering
you. It was just a universal fact of being a rider in a fighting wing.

She just wanted to get home and back to Dolphin Cove to soak, as was her
usual post-Fall ritual. One shared by most other dragonriders who were
actively flying - who wanted to stink of Threadchar and firestone for the
rest of the day? Or to smell like metal and agenothree like the queens
did. Soaking in a bathing pool resolved that issue, allowing one to float
in peace and solitude if they wanted, or to reach out to the other riders
for comfort and distraction from a bad Fall if you washed in a shared
pool.

Only she knew that the end of this Fall was going to be different then the
others she'd flown recently. She wasn't going to spend it in her own pool
soaking, or in a public one. Instead she'd be in Cyradis' weyr. For the
'girl's night', as the older goldrider had put it to her. It was a more
pleasant way to put it than what it really was. And if the symptoms
weren't too bad, because it still seemed to be early days according to the
Healers, then it shouldn't be nearly as bad as something later term,

Kapera was still impressed by the Weyrwoman's generous offer. Cyradis
could have ordered her to take it in the Infirmary like the Healers had
suggested. Instead she'd offered a way to keep it quiet so not all the
Weyr heard, and still provide comfort and support so she wasn't entirely
alone for it. If something went wrong Kapera was sure Cyradis would call
for a Healer, but she desperately hoped it wouldn't come to that, and it
could just be a time for gossiping between women as well as the natural
physical aftermath.

She'd handled an unwanted pregnancy /between/ once before and spent two
nights with the Healers, but that had been many Turns ago at Windswept.
She hadn't yet had her severe illness then, hadn't developed a piercing
fear of spending any time in the Infirmary. The idea of doing it now had
filled her with profound dread. She would have rather handled the entire
matter alone in her personal weyr, heedless of the medical advice. This
was the best compromise.

}:I would have called a Healer to our weyr if you had done that. You
cannot risk us,:{ Riyanth said to her, mind voice reproachful. The gold
dragon's memory might not be as good as a human's, but some memories were
strong enough to stick with dragons for a long time, and Kapera's long
illness was something the gold did recall.

**Thanks to Panitath's rider, I won't,** Kapera reassured.

}:Panitath's rider is good to offer. I don't understand why you don't want
an egg. But I don't want to lose you to getting rid of it,:{ the gold
returned.

**I like being able to rise whenever I want without consequences. And our
hatchlings aren't nearly as precious as yours. They take much longer to be
useful and I would be a bad mother.**

}:You are the best rider and care for my eggs. This is what matters to
me,:{ Riyanth said.

The wash of her dragon's support flooded Kapera and bolstered her courage.
Going /between/ was the right decision to make here. She had no desire to
be grounded for the better part of a Turn with a pregnancy when she didn't
want to be a mother. She was sure J'nus wasn't interested in being a
father when they weren't even properly committed. It was possible he had
flight or casual babes elsewhere, but she didn't grudge the idea of that
happening. And it would be best for the Weyr if all the goldriders were
flying, wouldn't it? Yes, this was the right decision.

}:Are we going?:{ Riyanth asked, interrupting her thoughts. The gold was
bored with using her wings simply to idle in one spot. She would rather be
at the Weyr washing herself clean.

Her trip back would have to be longer. There was a trick to it that had to
be handled carefully by the rider. The image of the place you were going
had to be kept firm in the mind so you would come out of /between/ safely,
but you had to suppress the dragon's desire to move out as quickly as
possible - and any of the rider's own fear about being in the cold black
place any longer than you had to.

**Yes. We go,** Kapera acknowledged. She carefully pictured Dolphin Cove's
collapsed half-crater with the slope down to the water and the distinctive
rim pattern, making sure the image was solid. Then she directed Riyanth
/between/.

The gold dragon's wings beat once, twice, then she followed her rider's
command. Kapera was always shocked by the plunge into the icy chill of
/between/, the long black emptiness. She knew she was on Riyanth's back,
mentally connected to her lifemate - she could feel the gold dragon
concentrating on the image she was holding into - and yet it felt like she
could fall into the dark and the chill and never know it, lost there
forever. Her chest spasmed at the thought and for a second there wasn't
enough air and she nearly panicked. Regular /between/ was three
heartbeats, three breaths, nine seconds. If she could just count them out…

}:I am here!:{ the gold insisted over their link.

**Eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen…** She quickly reinforced the image
of Dolphin Cove, unable to bear it. Surely that was long enough!

Suddenly the black dissolved into the bright blue sky over the weyr and
the cold was replaced by warmth of the tropics. So much warmth.

Riyanth rumbled as she descended down towards the ledge. }:Wash me then go
to Panitath's?:{

**Yes dear, that's the plan,** Kapera soothed. After all, the process
shouldn't happen immediately, but later in the evening. And her queen did
need tending, as precious and wonderful as she was.

}:As we are,:{ the gold insisted.

A smile on her lips, Kapera headed into her weyr. She might be nervous
about how the night would feel, but she wasn't at all regretful about the
decision that was done. She was confident she'd made the right decision
for herself and her dragon.

Last updated on the April 1st 2016

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The Right Decision For Her