Gone In An Instant

Writers: Yvonne
Date Posted: 7th February 2016

Characters: Jerinne, Darmin, Leshy
Description: There's a snarl in Jerinne's plans.
Location: Dolphin Cove Weyr
Date: month 3, day 2 of Turn 8
Notes: Mentioned: J'ackt, Saidrene, Cosani, Alina
Notes: Follows 'Worst News Imaginable"

Three days after the horrific incident in the Dining Cavern, and Jerinne hadn't seen J'ackt the whole time. She scrubbed at the sheet in her hands, sudsy and wet up to her elbows as she leaned over the tub, and tried not to think about him or how awful he'd treated her. Most men would be happy that they were fathers, not horrified. The look in his eyes when she'd told him... Jerinne shuddered, then quickly wiped her eyes with the back of her hand. **No crying.**

He should have come to find her by now. To apologize. They were going to have a baby and be bound together forever, their love cemented by the creation of a whole new human being. It was a serendipitous fluke, the universe saying that they should be together-- she hadn't meant to forget her teas and get pregnant. Maybe she hadn't forgotten her teas at all... women whispered about the teas failing sometimes.

Only now three days had passed and she hadn't seen J'ackt at _all_. She'd waited and hoped, and looked for him around every corner. Every time he wasn't there broke her heart a little further.

He was probably with Saidrene, laughing at her. Or Cosani. Or stupid Alina, who she'd foolishly asked if it was all right if she sought J'ackt out for the first time. They were probably all laughing at her, together, at a picnic or something, while she was pregnant and alone and scrubbing a stranger's stained sheets. She sniffed, then watched in horror as a hot tear slipped from her cheek into the laundry vat.

"Hey Jerinne-- are you all right?" Darmin, one of the other laundry workers, paused as she looked at Jerinne.

Jerinne managed a small smile. "Yeah. I... think I need some air. It's really hot in here."

"I know, right?" Darmin stood back from the steaming vat of laundry she was stirring to wipe her sweaty forehead with a kerchief. "I have no idea why those lousy Technicians put fans into the kitchens first. They were probably bribed-- it's so unfair!"

Jerinne nodded, unable to force any more words past the lump in her throat. It was unfair. Everything was unfair. After a morning spent in the laundry, she felt slightly nauseated and her stomach was upset. She hurried out of the laundry caverns and headed to the nearest washroom for a little privacy. She pushed the door open and found it strangely empty. **Good.** Walking over to the sinks, she turned on a tap and splashed cool water on her flushed face. Then she turned and headed into one of the latrines, but when she dropped her skirts, Jerinne nearly fainted.

Blood. There was a streak of bright blood staining her underthings. She put a hand on the wall of the latrine to steady herself. **No...** Her knees went weak as the tiny room swum around her. Her baby-- J'ackt's baby. Jerinne took a deep breath and nearly threw up. With shaking hands she laced up her skirt and hurried from the room toward the Infirmary.

A bored looking apprentice sat by the door with a pile of hides in front of him. He glanced up when she entered. "Hello. Are you here to see a Healer today?"

Jerinne nodded and gripped the counter with white knuckles. "Please help me. I think I'm miscarrying."

That made him sit upright. Moments later Jerinne was swept into a small room and told to change into a medical gown. Meekly she did so, and almost as soon as she was done a female healer with gray hair and kindly eyes joined her, and got her to lay on the examination table. "Now, dear. Jerinne, is it?"

Jerinne nodded miserably.

"I'm Journeywoman Leshy. I'm going to ask you a few questions, and touch your stomach. Is that all right?" When Jerinne nodded again, the healer put her hands on her lower stomach and began to prod with her fingertips. "Please tell me if you feel a sharp pain."

"I've got cramps..." Jerinne whispered. "Am I losing the baby?"

"How severe?" Leshy asked. "Cramps like usual, worse than usual, or much worse?"

"I-- a bit worse than usual, I guess," Jerinne said after a moment. She'd been feeling rotten all day, and her cramps were a dull ache in her abdomen.

"Have you seen another Healer about your pregnancy?" When Jerinne shook her head, Leshy took her hands away from Jerinne's stomach. "No? How far along were you?"

"Just a month..." Her eyes began to fill with tears. What would J'ackt say if she lost their baby? What would he _do_? He'd hate her, or call her a liar... all her dreams for the two of them were crumbling down around her. He wouldn't love her if she didn't have his baby. He'd made that clear enough to everyone in the Dining Cavern.

"When was the start of your last monthly, Jerinne?" Leshy asked gently.

"Umm..." Jerinne had to think, which made her focus on something other than her own misery. "Oh... six weeks ago? I'm usually so regular."

The journeywoman nodded. "When you noticed you began to bleed, were there any clots or bits of tissue?"

"Tissue-- you mean a baby?" Her eyes filled with tears again. "I-- I didn't see it. Does that mean that it's still inside of me?"

Leshy shook her head. "At this point in development, a baby would be too tiny for you to see. So, you didn't notice any clots or clumps then?"

Jerinne shook her head, unable to speak.

"Have you been feeling unwell lately, or have you put on weight?"

"I-- felt kind of sick today..." Jerinne started to cry then, and curled up around her aching middle. "He- he's going to h-hate me! I l-love h-him so much! I d-don't know what to do-- you h-have t-to save the baby!"

"Oh, sweetheart." Leshy gently brushed Jerinne's hair away from her face, then opened her arms when Jerinne threw herself into them, sobbing. "There, there. If you are miscarrying, there's nothing I can do about it at this stage. But it's just as likely that you were never pregnant at all, and that your monthly was just a bit delayed." She sighed as Jerinne began to cry harder. "Sometimes, if you want a baby badly enough, your body can pretend... but you and your man can try again. You're so young."

"Y-you don't understand! He'll _hate_ me!" Jerinne wailed. "He-he already hates me and never wants to s-see me again! And I-I'll _die_ without him!"

"Is that why you hoped you were pregnant?" Leshy asked. When Jerinne nodded, still crying, the healer sighed. "Jerinne, I can see that you care for this man very much, but if he doesn't love you back then that's something wrong with him, not you. A baby wouldn't turn his heart."

"B-but I _love_ him so m-much!" Jerinne could barely force the words out. Her heart felt like it was being shredded into pieces. No baby, no J'ackt, no idyllic future for the two of them. He'd never look at her with affection, or curl up with her in his arms, or kiss her forehead or drive her wild with his touch again. He was gone. And she was utterly alone.

Leshy held her while she cried.

Last updated on the February 9th 2016

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Gone In An Instant