Our Wish

Writers: Yvonne
Date Posted: 17th July 2015

Characters: Alina, Elana
Description: Alina visits with her twin sister
Location: Elsewhere on Pern
Date: month 13, day 11 of Turn 7
Notes: Mentioned: Chaysea, Ikalis

Alina

Alina snuck away from the Weyr after classes and chores were done for the day and went home. It felt like time. Her Weyrling training would come to an end soon, and then there was the inevitable Blooding-- and that might be the end of it. All throughout their training they'd been told that the Blooding was the most dangerous time.

Well, that and mating flights gone wrong.

It was the last time she might see her family, so Alina lingered. But finally it was time for an overly cheerful goodbye and promises to come visit soon, all of which tasted like ashes on her tongue. On impulse, Alina asked her twin sister to walk with her out to the field where she'd left Imarith, far from the silly ovines who would scatter at her dragon's presence.

They walked over the fields together in the gathering dusk. Elana filled her in on all the gossip that Alina had been unable to ask about with her mother present. Who was courting whom, the idiotic things people had said, the backwards things they wore. They fell into their old patterns of speech and togetherness as easily as breathing, as if the time since Alina was Searched had never happened. Once they got to where Imarith waited, neither wanted to end the evening.

"What are you going to wear for Turnover?"

Alina lay in the fragrant grass, a spray of stars above her. The moons weren't out yet and the night was soft and velvet-black. Insects sang in the trees behind her, Imarith dozed at her back, and beside her sat her sister.

And for the first time in a long time, the world felt right again.

"I don't know." Elana sighed and leaned back on her hands, tipping her face to the night sky. The red of her hair was lost to the shadows. "I guess my usual Gather dress, but it's getting... tight."

"Across the chest, right?"

Elana nodded. "I'm getting more lady-like, to the point of being annoying. Do you have to bind yours to get through the day? Because if I don't, I am so _sore_ by noon. I don't know how some women stand it."

"At least they don't make you run," Alina said gloomily. "Running is the worst."

"What are you going to wear?"

Alina shrugged. "I have this dress I got from the store rooms.... it's sort of sunset coloured. It's amazing. You'd love the store rooms. You just the Headwoman for something, and she just gives it to you. Ikalis and I went to the store rooms to get dresses for the last Hatching, and there were rows and rows of them in every colour you could imagine. And you could just _pick_."

There was a long, wistful sigh. "I wish. I hate that stupid blue dress of mine. It's so childish, and I just don't have time to do anything with it. And it wouldn't change the fact that it's _blue_."

"But you look good in blue!"

"What I'd really like is something in a pale green. I bet it would make my hair look amazing. Men wouldn't be able to keep their eyes off me if I had a green dress." There was a small pause, then Elana knocked her foot against Alina's. "You know... if you can just as the Headwoman, could you get a green dress for me?"

"I don't know." Alina wrinkled her nose. Chaysea would never approve of getting a dress from the storerooms to give to her sister. Goods flowed _to_ the Weyr, not out from them. But there were so many dresses... would one really matter? "Maybe. I can try, but I can't promise anything. You know what Headwomen are like."

"Just tell her it's for you. We're the same shape still-- sort of."

"What do you mean, sort of?" Alina sat a little straighter, suddenly feeling very self conscious.

"Well..." Elana nibbled her lip. "I didn't want to say anything..."

"Say what?"

"It's just that..." Her sister sighed, then leaned forward and lowered her voice. "You kind of have... man shoulders."

"What?" Alina's jaw dropped. "I do not!"

"You do. Ever since you left, your shoulders have gotten _huge_."

"They have not! You're such a liar!" Alina crossed her arms and glared at her sister in the dark.

"Am not. See?" Elana scootched a little closer and turned her back to her sister. "Let's measure."

Alina hesitated, then pressed her back against Elana's. Both their hands went to their shoulders and Alina was mortified to discover that hers were, indeed, about a fingerwidth bigger. She pulled away from Elana to rest against Imarith's ribs, glad that the night hid the embarrassed scowl on her face. It had to be tossing firestone, scrubbing dragons, and lugging around her dragonriding straps. "Well, I didn't want to say anything either, but your belly is noticeably squishy."

"Is not. And besides, men like women who are soft," Elana said with a sniff.

"Whatever. What would you know. It's not as if there are any eligible men in his backwater Holding anyway." Alina closed her eyes and surprised herself by letting the sting from the comment about 'man shoulders' go. The night was too nice, too warm and companionable, to let such a petty insult get to her. Yes, her shoulders were a bit mannish, but what would it matter, anyway? She was never going to get married. Alina sighed. "Imarith will rise soon."

"Like... a mating flight?" Elana asked tentatively.

"It's like going into season, but for dragons. And I'll get dragged along with her, like some stupid, senseless rutting beast." Alina shook her head. "They keep saying that it's natural, but it's not, is it. To lose yourself like that. People don't do that. I've even lived through several gold flights now and people don't just drop everything and fornicate with whoever is nearest then." She sighed, wishing she could stop talking, but the words kept spilling from her anyway. "Everyone says that I should sleep with someone before it happens so that it'll be easier. But how can I? It's not... I don't want to live like that. I don't think I could have some strange man touch me like that, when he doesn't even care who I am. And the worst is that people are already trying to get in my bed like-- like I'm some sort of easy woman."

"Oh, ugh. Really?" Her twin sounded uncomfortable.

Alina couldn't bring herself to change the subject, though. This was the first time she'd been able to talk so openly to Elana about her new life as a dragonrider without her sister shutting her up by putting her down. There was something about the air tonight that made it easier to open up. "So this guy comes up to me in the dining cavern and asks me on a picnic." She snorted. "Whatever. He just wanted to get me alone outside. So I flamed him down and he said some really nasty things. Just because I'm a weyrling doesn't mean that I'm available like that. But the weird thing? He came and apologized later."

"Really? If he was such a jerk, why bother?"

The weyrling shrugged. "I don't know. I totally tore a strip off him though, and there was no _way_ I'd accept his apology. But he kept trying until I got on Imarith and flew away. Those are the kind of people that are at the Weyr. Totally without manners. I would rather sleep with a porcine."

There was a long silence that seemed to stretch into forever. The insects hummed, Imarith's breath stirred the air, and the stars twinkled on, oblivious. "Can't you just... not?" Elana asked after a moment.

"Not... sleep with a porcine? Or have a mating flight?"

Elana nodded, her silhouette only half-visible in the shadows. "Either. Both."

"Mating flights.... it's like wishing-- like wishing your monthlies never came. They do anyway." Alina snorted. "I have to drink this yucky tea so that I don't get pregnant, and I _still_ get monthlies. How fair is that?"

"So you have to..."

"Yeah, I do. There's nothing I or anyone can do to stop it. When your dragon rises... it happens to every greenrider, even the men. That's why people say greenriders are whores, but they can't help it. I wish I could help it." Alina sighed. "What do you wish for Turnover, Elana?"

"A green dress."

Alina giggled, and after a moment her sister did too. The awkwardness in the air dissipated. "Seriously."

"I seriously want a green dress!" Elana whisked her fingers through the grasses as if they were a runner's mane. "Well... and if I could have anything... when we go to Emerald Falls for the Turnover Gather, I'd like to meet someone special. I'm tired of living in a stupid farming cothold. I want to see something different and finally start my life. What about you? Besides... not that."

What did she want? Turnover wishes were special, they couldn't be squandered on just anything. But there was so much to wish for. Alina wanted to not have to suffer through Imarith rising. She didn't want to fight Thread. She wanted to feel as if the Weyr were home, since she was never going to come back here. Not whole, with Imarith beside her. "I... I don't want to die this Turn," she said quietly. A lump rose in her throat.

There was a long silence, thick with imagined silver Thread and screaming dragons. Elana reached out and found Alina's fingers in the dark, holding her twin's hand tight. "Can I change my wish?" she said quietly.

Alina tightened her grip on her sister's hand. "If you're sure."

"I'm sure."

They sat in silence until Belior rose through the trees. Both girls stood to go, and Elana stayed in the field watching as Imarith bore her twin aloft and disappeared /between/.

Last updated on the August 6th 2015

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