Carry My Hand

Writers: Suzee
Date Posted: 14th February 2014

Characters: Demir
Description: Demir reflects after his father's passing
Location: Amber Hills Hold
Date: month 5, day 4 of Turn 7
Notes: Mentioned: Kobias

Demir

Demir sat at his fathers bedside head bowed in thought. He'd asked
everyone to give him a moment after his father had passed and they'd
cleared the room though he didn't expect the solitude to last.. The
hand he held had grown cool in his grasp and yet he couldn't forget
the strength it had once held. His thumb stroked the skin on the back
of the lax fingers. Then he gently pulled the great ring from his
finger as was his right and placed in his pocket, He couldn't face
sliding it on his own finger yet.

His father had been as big as Kobias and as strong willed. Demir
remembered following him around the Hold as a child or being lifted up
on broad shoulders when he got tired. Snow or summer heat didn't
matter. There were beasts and holders to attend to. Someone had always
needed a fence mended or a roof repaired. And his da took care of it,
either with the labor of these hands or teaching his sons as other
people showed them the way.

He snorted in memory. How often had his father told the story of him
as a child "Da, carry my hand," he'd asked as they'd trudged home from
a long day. He'd just wanted to hold his father's big hand. "I'll
carry all of you," the big man had replied and picked him up. Always
embarrassed by that story, he would give anything now to hear it again
now. He placed the hand back on the bed softly and let go.

He wasn't completely sure he was the man for this job though his
father had prepared him for the possibility. He mentally shrugged,
he'd prepared all of them to take hold one day. Kobias was so much
more like their father than he was, and though he'd said he didn't
want the job Demir couldn't help but feel he would be better at it..
And his younger brother Mirdelo had been an excellent Steward
deserving of praise for his work to better the Hold.

"Why me," he asked even though he knew he'd never hear the answer.
"And why the stipulation?"

Her face rose up in his mind, ruddy in the firelight after passionate
lovemaking. He hovered over her and stroked a stray blond hair from
her dark amber eyes. "I'm pregnant," she'd whispered then and joy had
filled him. His precious wife was giving him a child.

But the picture cracked like a mirror and shattered at his feet like
the broken pieces of his heart. She, the child, and what he'd thought
was his future were all gone now, like his father. Only his father
hadn't let him go on grieving no matter his inclination. "Alright old
man," he said to the cooling body. "I'll marry again, but she won't be
blond. No towheaded grandchildren for you." Red or dark hair and light
eyes. That was what he'd look for in a prospective bride and shard his
own preferences.

He knew in the deepest part of him he wanted this. He wanted to be the
holder, though he didn't want a wife to go along with it but that
choice was out of his hands.

He chuckled and looked at his hands. This time the picture he saw was
a little dark haired girl reaching up to him with bright blue eyes.

"Da, carry my hand," she asked.

"I'll carry all of you," he said and picked her up. In his mind he saw
himself as he started across a field toward a woman he couldn't make
out against the bright sky. But she had dark hair blowing in the wind,
and he knew the him in that picture was happy.

Last updated on the March 15th 2014

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Carry My Hand