Nothing to Lose

Writers: Yvonne
Date Posted: 27th January 2006

Characters: Nineba
Description: Nineba hatches a plan to recapture K'far's attentions
Location: Dragonsfall Weyr
Date: month 9, day 8 of Turn 3

"That's the stupidest idea that I've ever heard," Parna said flatly. She and Nineba were sitting in Parna's living room sipping tea. Loklan, Parna's husband, had yet to come home from the workshop where he built barrels. "He won't fall for it, and even if he did-"

Nineba interrupted her with a shushing motion. "This isn't a _trick_, Parna. It's more of a... reminder."

"It was bad enough that you ran away from your husband, but now you want to ensnare a dragonrider by telling him that you're pregnant!? Maparlin probably would have forgiven your flight to Dragonsfall as youthful indiscretion-"

"Parna, you're just not _getting_ it." Nineba sighed and put her teacup aside. She could see herself reflected in the polished side of the metal teapot; mousy brown hair, brown eyes, and a weak chin. There was a small, dark mark above her left eyebrow that made her face look lopsided. She was no beauty. There weren't as many options available to women who weren't beautiful. "Maparlin never loved me. He ignored me except to chastise me if I did something wrong, or if he wanted a little- if he wanted company in the night. I want _more_ than that, and K'far is the man to do it."

"The man ignores you when he's not shouting at you!" Parna set down her teacup with an audible 'click'. "He doesn't want anything to do with you, and quite frankly this latest twist is despicable."

"It's not!" Nineba started to pout. "I just want to be happy. Why is that so much to ask?"

"Because you're making other people unhappy in the process." Parna's face abruptly softened and she reached out to take Nineba's hand. "Oh darling, what you have already isn't that bad. My marriage was arranged too, and me and Loklan had some rough times. But we got through it. You have a chance to make things right..."

Nineba covered Parna's hand in her own. Both women's hands were wrinkled and cracked from their work in the laundry; old before their time. She felt old on the inside, too. "So I should sacrifice myself? My dreams?"

"That's not it either. You've got your head in the clouds, Nineba, riding alongside a dragonrider that doesn't exist."

The younger woman looked confused. K'far was as real as the padded chairs they sat on. She could caress his skin just like she could touch the overblown flower pattern that covered the cushions, and his hands... "I don't understand."

"You've created this idealized version of 'K'far' in your head, and he does all these things and feels all these emotions for you. But that's not the same K'far as the K'far who flies Thread and lives in the weyr above us."

"That's ridiculous. He's just confused." Nineba drew herself away from the older woman and stared at the wall. Parna had hung it with blankets with bland patterns to 'brighten up the room'. "I _know_ him."

"Do you really? Why does he take other women to his bed, then?"

"He's confused."

"And why won't he touch you?"

"He's _confused_."

"He doesn't love you, that's why." Parna sighed. "I'm telling you this as a friend, Nineba. Go back to Dolphin Cove. Go back to your husband. What will become of him if he finds out that his _wife_ is sleeping with another man!?"

"Stop talking about Maparlin! I'm tired of him. I tried to dissolve our marriage, remember?"

"And he wouldn't let you. Remember that?" Parna pursed her lips. "Go back to him."

"No!"

"Nineba, you're not being fair. Maparlin isn't the man that you think he is."

Nineba glared at her friend. "How do you know that!? You've never met him!"

"I-I just do." Parna stammered. She looked away. "I just think that you're being unfair, and this latest scheme isn't going to do anything except break your heart. You've already broken Maparlin's, I'm sure, and I don't want to see you hurt too."

"You don't know anything about me, do you," Nineba said softly. She stared at her teacup; it had a pattern of tiny blue flowers that she found comforting. She'd always liked blue flowers. "I'm already broken hearted.
I've got nothing to lose."

Last updated on the January 27th 2006

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Nothing to Lose