Everywhere But Here

Writers: Chelle, Jelena
Date Posted: 18th April 2012

Characters: Parale, Parme
Description: She admits Parme was probably right and they discuss her current situation.
Location: Sunstone Seahold
Date: month 7, day 12 of Turn 6
Notes: Mentioned: Ioven, Syren

Things had not gotten better. And despite what she wanted to do,
Parale could no longer chalk things up to stress. Her body was
revolting against her. Parme?s remedies helped, but they didn?t take
care of everything. Their last conversation had presented a few
possibilities to Parale and she could no longer ignore the fact that
the other woman could well be right.

With things like they were, she had been trying to hide it from Ioven.
On unsure ground with her husband, she didn?t want to introduce
another complication into the picture until she had to. Besides, there
was a chance that she might not manage to carry it, anyhow. If she
even was really pregnant. Besides the dolphins, she didn?t know if
there was a way she could know for sure until she?d gone several
months without menses and started to gain some weight. It was time to
consult the midwife again.

Parme was outside, working the small garden patch next to her cot,
where she grew her own herbs and some vegetables for personal use. It
was a fine day and she was making good progress, so the woman was
humming cheerfully to herself.

Spotting her as she picked her way up the path, Parale was grateful
that she seemed free for the moment. Breathing a bit as she came to a
stop, Parale spoke up. "Nice day for a little garden meddling hm?"

"It certainly is!" Parme replied as she stood to look at Parale. "How
are you doing today, dear?"

"About the same as before, though I'm managing," she said as she
glanced over the garden. Her scarf covered her head, keeping her hair
out of her way, fluttering ever so much in the wind coming off the
sea.

"Hmm," Parme said, taking a good look at Parale. "Still not getting
much better, then?" The midwife had her suspicions about the reason
for Parale's troubles, but she felt perhaps Parale needed to come to
that conclusion herself.

"Not really no." She looked down, then back up at Parme. "I think you
might be right."

"Right about what, dear?" Parme asked, feigning ignorance.

Parale's eyes narrowed just slightly. If the older woman thought she
was going to blithely believe that display, she was mistaken. Parale
wasn't stupid and had been around women all her life. Still, she had
to admit she'd been hardheaded, wanting to dismiss the possibility.
"It's likely I'm expecting my first child even though my husband
doesn't love me and I could very well be bringing the baby into a bad
situation. Not that Ioven won't love it but..." She sighed, almost
wanting to give up and just submit. If she did, though, she'd never be
happy.

"Oh sweetheart," Parme said with a small sigh as she moved in to take
her friend's hands with sympathy in her eyes. "What would make you say
something like that?"

"Maybe the fact that we're sleeping in separate rooms," she admitted
before she tried not to cry. If pregnancy was going to be this awful,
she didn't know what she was going to do. She had dreamed about it for
so long and now everything was just wrong!

"I'm so sorry to hear that," Parme said softly. "Do you want to go
inside and talk for a bit? Have some more of that tea?" The older
woman had sensed Parale had been unhappy lately, but she hadn't
suspected things had gotten that bad.

"Tea would be nice." She breathed for a bit and managed to get herself
back under control as she followed Parme inside. Why couldn't she have
what other women had sometimes? Parale understood that life wasn't
always perfect and she had gone into the marriage knowing she might
not have love-but now it felt like she didn't have respect or
anything.

Parme moved to make the tea as she indicated a chair for Parale. "Do
you want to talk about what happened?" she asked gently. Barley,
meanwhile, came up to the woman with a soft mew for attention, looking
up at her expectantly.

"Not really. What's done is done and now I just have to deal with it."
She kept hoping that perhaps Ioven would change his mind. She wouldn't
use this baby to force him to it, though.

"That's true," Parme said, looking at her friend sympathetically. "But
maybe it will help you sort things out in your head, to talk about it.
I know it can be a relief to share your worries at least." Parme
couldn't help but feel that maybe if she knew of her friends'
troubles, she could help somehow.

Parale felt comfortable talking about some things-like the girls, even
her medical problems like this pregnancy. Issues with her
husband-she'd been raised that her marriage bed was her marriage bed
and no one else should come into it except perhaps her mother. Parme
might be able to offer good advice and yet...

"And maybe I can give you a fresh perspective on things. Sometimes you
are too close to a problem to see solutions that are right under your
nose, you know?" Parme wasn't just going to let this go. She counted
Parale as a dear friend and if something had went so horribly wrong
with her and her husband, she just had to know, had to try to help
somehow.

Giving a big sigh, she thought about it as she played with her
fingers. For all the bright colors she was wearing, her face didn't
show it. "We'd been having a problem with Syren wanting to get into
bed with us. And well, I think she's of turns where that shouldn't
happen often-she should be in her own bed. He didn't agree, so we
argued-and I went to sleep in my workroom when he insisted she was
coming into our bed."

For a moment Parme considered showing her disbelief at such a small
thing being the reason for such big troubles, but she realized that
was not the kind of reaction Parale needed just now. "So you feel he
overruled you?" she nodded, trying to imagine how harsh that would
feel to Parale.

"I'm uncomfortable with the idea of her being in bed with us often. I
feel like he discounted my discomfort as well as my thought that she
shouldn't be allowed to come in." Of course there were other issues at
work here, but Parme would never understand it without knowing her
history with her husband.

Parme nodded. "And I take it the two of you got into a big fight over
this? I used to fight about the kids with Elmash a lot, too, even if
he always said the kids were my responsibility, he couldn't help to
meddle. It's a man's thing." Things like that seemed trivial now, how
she would love to have those fights again, only to have him with her
again.

"Well I've always seen children as my responsibility as well. Ioven,
however, raised them by himself for so long that he takes on more as a
father than another man would. He's a good father but...he indulges
sometimes-perhaps to make up for their mother being gone." So far no
real harm had been done, and now they did have a mother.

Parme was glad Parale could look beyond her own arguments and give
Ioven some credit for his opinion, which she hoped boded well for the
two. "Over time, he will adjust, dear, especially when you add another
hungry mouth to the family. There will be a point where he'll be too
busy to meddle too much. But at least he cares about the children, not
all fathers do."

"He cares about the children, sure...but I don't think he cares about
me beyond someone to mother the girls and wash his clothes." She
shrugged, trying to be brave. Parale felt so alone.

"Does he at least say he does?" Parme asked with a soft expression.
That was, after all, one thing she had always been sure of with
Elmash, that he loved her. It had to be agonizing to think your
husband didn't care for you.

"No." That was the truth. Of course Ioven wasn't one to discuss his
feelings and emotions of that nature, even with his wife.

"Did you talk to him about that?" Parme could understand why Parale
wouldn't want that, but if she had, maybe his reaction would shed some
light on his true feelings.

"No. Men don't want women to badger them about feelings and things
like that. And anyway, I'm afraid I'll just end up embarrassing myself
when he looks at me funny." She had a little pride left. Not much-but
enough.

"I understand," Parme said with a nod, looking thoughtful. "Does he do
little things to show affection, though? Like bring you home flowers,
compliment you on things, stuff like that? Sometimes men can think
they are being obviously affectionate with the most silly little
things."

As she thought about things, she shook her head no. Ioven had never
brought anything home for her. He had complimented her cooking...

"Hmm..." Parme gave the matter some more thought. "What about you? Do
you show affection to him?"

"I think so. I mean, I do kiss him sometimes and I cooked a special
meal for him and me..." There had been other things-small things-but
nothing major she had to admit.

"Well," Parme said with a concentrated look on her face. "You might
make it easier for him to show his appreciation if you show yours with
bigger gestures. I know it might seem... like you're putting on a
show. Especially now you're so upset at him, but it might make him
feel more at ease."

She knew Parme meant well, but she really didn't know her husband.
Parale wasn't about to start parading around like that. It would make her
look like a fool and Ioven would likely be suspicious of her. Still,
she put a hand on the midwife's arm. "Thanks. I better be getting back now."

"You're welcome, dear, even if I can't be of much help." Parme took
Parale's hand in hers for a second and looked at her seriously. "If
there is anything you need to talk about, anything at all, please come
find me. At least that is something I can do for you in this mess."

Last updated on the April 18th 2012

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Everywhere But Here