First Dance

Writers: Devin, Cali
Date Posted: 24th February 2010

Characters: Zanen, Talmina
Description: Zanen asks Talmina to dance and gets caught up in the moment.
Location: Elsewhere on Pern
Date: month 7, day 4 of Turn 5

Carney wasn't that bad of a pipes player. Talmina had listened to him
while she cleaned up from dinner, and though he was no harper, she
could understand why the caravan had missed him. They'd all mostly
gathered around the inner fire to listen, a few even danced off to the
side. It was comical to watch the children try to imitate the steps
of the adults, but Talmina tried not to pay too much attention. The
sooner she finished putting things away, the sooner she could turn in
for the night.

Zanen had been tapping his foot for a while. With Carney back, the
little group of musicians sounded whole again. But listening to them
wasn't enough. He went over to Talmina and sketched a little bow. "May
I have this dance?"

She opened her mouth, then closed it again as she looked from Zanen to
those by the fire. She didn't want everyone to look at her, to stare
as they would if she went out in front of them. She shook her head.
"I don't think so, Zanen. I was just going to bed."

"Please? There's no one I'd rather dance with." He held out a hand.

Talmina took his hand and let herself be led out towards the other
dancers. It was dark enough that perhaps they wouldn't be that
noticeable among them. She could at least pretend that they couldn't
see her.

Zanen put a hand on her waist when they reached the dance area. "Hey,
cheer up. Dancing isn't a chore." He smiled at her and started to move
to the music.

Talmina waited for it. Waited for the memories of the last time she'd
danced. She'd braced herself, and when the memory of Syther's hands
on her waist overlapped with Zanen's she hardly reacted. Still, she
couldn't breathe, couldn't make her lungs take the breath that she
knew was necessary. In fact, she couldn't move at all which caused
Zanen to stumble slightly with her and jarred her enough to bring
forth the breathe of life. She dropped her hands from Zanen's and
stared down at the ground. It wasn't right, that evil man shouldn't
have control over her life, and yet he had scored a victory. Even
after so many months had passed since the attack, he was still causing
her pain.

She wouldn't let him win. Talmina looked up at Zanen, confusion on
his face and gave him a determined almost smile and took his hand
again. "Sorry. I'm ready now."

"What's wrong?" The world narrowed down to him and Talmina. Had he
done something wrong?

"Nothing's wrong, I just misstepped." Talmina assured him. Her skin
felt electric, his hand against her side almost painful, the pressure
of his hand against hers like a vise, but she ignored it. It was
Zanen holding her, not _him_. Zanen was safe, he protected her, he
would never hurt her. It was like a mantra in her head that calmed
the current covering her skin. Slowly the feel of his hand in hers
softened, and the touch on her hip eased. She could do this.

He gave her an uncertain look as the music shifted into an even more
lively tune. Hoping he could help her forget whatever was troubling
her, he swung her into a dance.

The faster pace helped. She had to focus on her feet, focus on the
turns, focus on the directions the drummer was giving out. Before
long, she felt her scars stretch painfully and she realized she'd been
grinning. She set her mouth and the pain stopped, but that wasn't
all. The paralizing fear was gone too. She didn't need her mantra
anymore, her body felt safe with Zanen now, without having to be told.

That grin on her face was worth everything. He kept her dancing for
another song, and then pulled aside for a break. Zanen laughed as he
tried to catch his breath. "Ah, that was good!"

"It was bad." Talmina said with shake of her head. "But you made it good."

He stopped laughing. "What was bad about it?"

"Bad memories." Talmina replied. Zanen knew more than most about
what had happened at Garnet Valley. "I don't want him to control me
like that. I deserve to be able to dance if I want."

"Yes, you do." He smoothed a strand of hair from her face. "You
deserve good memories." Zanen looked at her for a moment, then bent to
brush his lips against hers.

His lips were there and gone before Talmina even had time to react.
Still, she didn't move as he pulled back, just stared at him warily.
"Why'd you do that?"

"Because I wanted to," he said, wondering if he'd made a mistake.

"I don't want you to pity me." Talmina replied bitterly as she
stepped back from him. Zanen was the only one she'd thought wouldn't
do that.

He put a gentle hand on her arm. "It wasn't pity. I kissed you because
I wanted to kiss you, and maybe I hoped you would kiss me back."

Talmina was confused. She'd thought she'd understood their
arraignment, their agreement. "You said... when I asked you to marry
me... you said you didn't want to bed me? So it has to be pity."

"A kiss is a beginning, Talmina. It doesn't mean I want to bed you
right now." He sighed, trying to find the right words. "Things have
changed, alright?" He shifted his feet, uncomfortable.

She frowned and looked down, unfocused as giant tears welled in her
eyes that she could not control. Her jaw spasmed from her muscles
tensing and the tears overflowed down her scarred cheeks. "No. No
they haven't. Nothing's changed." And before he had a chance to try
and change her mind, she ran away to the protection of the blackness
inside her wagon.

Zanen wanted to go after her, but worried that he would just make
things worse. He had to hope she wasn't upset enough to run away in
the middle of the night. Tomorrow. He would talk to her tomorrow.

Last updated on the February 28th 2010

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First Dance