Dealing with Fear
Dragonsfall Weyr
Amber Hills Hold
Vintner Hall
Healer Hall
Hidden Meadows
Dolphin Cove Weyr
Dolphin Hall
Emerald Falls Hold
Harper Hall
Printer Hall
Green Valley Hold
Leeward Lagoon Hold
Barrier Lake Weyr
Sunstone Seahold
Citrus Bay Hold
Writers: Devin, Cali
Date Posted: 23rd January 2010
Characters: Zanen, Talmina
Description: Talmina doesn't want to stay with the caravan.
Location: Elsewhere on Pern
Date: month 6, day 18 of Turn 5
Notes: Trader Caravan
As soon as the Caravan Leader had left them, Talmina shrank away to the shadows of the nearest wagon. Her whole body was trembling, and she stared at her hands in an attempt to control them.
She was stupid. Stupid, Stupid, Stupid. She needed to remain hidden, in the shadows like she was now, that was the only safe place for her. What was she thinking, talking to him, bringing herself to his attention? And how could he have threatened her like that? How dare he? Zanen had acted like they were friends at first, but he'd stood up to the man, warned him not to touch her. He must know that man to be dangerous. But if he knew that, why did he bring her here?
A low bark came from her left, and Silver appeared with Zanen just behind her. "There you are. I thought you might have run off." His tone was a mix of relief and worry.
"Can we? Run off?" Talmina whispered, ashamed at her fear, at her weakness and inability to quit shaking. "It's no different here than at the Hold, is it? You said I'd be safe here, but it's no different."
"You _are_ safe here. Korodon would never do you serious harm. He was just ... no, no I'm not going to defend him. I'm going to talk to him, and he's going to explain himself to you, and he's going to apologize." Korodon should have known not to say such things to Talmina, but maybe Zanen hadn't been clear enough about her troubles when he'd asked for the man's help.
"No!" Talmina said quickly, shrinking away at the mere suggestion of having to talk to the man. "I mean, it's not necessary. I'm fine. You don't need to bother him about me."
"Yes, I do. I don't want you to be afraid here. This isn't the hold. No one here will hurt you because they think you're less than them." He'd seen the bruises on Talmina, heard her lies about how she got them. He'd warned and threatened the people he thought responsible, but the harassment hadn't stopped.
"Look," Talmina said, standing up to face Zanen. She had two ways to deal with her fear, shake in the shadows and stand and fight. If one didn't work, she'd try the other. "If you want me to stay here with you, then fine. But I don't want to be anywhere near that man. If you make me, I'll run away. I'll go back to the Weyr by whatever means necessary and you'll never find me."
"Why is everything so hard with you?" He sighed. "He's the Caravan Leader. I can't guarantee he'll never be near you. I can't guarantee anyone in the caravan will never be near you. The best I can promise is that I'll stay with you. I'll stand between him and you if you really want that, and I'll warn him not to come too close." This was ridiculous.
Talmina forced herself to relax, she didn't want to cause problems for Zanen, or _with_ Zanen. She knew she wasn't in the Hold, she knew Zanen would protect her. Why was she acting like this? It would only drive Zanen away, and she didn't want that. He was the one person in all of Pern that she didn't want to drive away. "I'm sorry Zanen. I'm sorry. You don't need to warn him. I told you I could adapt out here and I'm doing a poor show of it so far. I don't want special treatment and I can't expect you to hover over me all of the time. I'll be fine. I think it's like you said, I'm just tired."
He took her hand. "Maybe we can go back to our wagon, and you can try to get a little more sleep. I'll introduce you to some of the other folk when we stop at midday. You'll like them, if you give them a chance." He wanted Talmina to get along with the others, he wanted her to be comfortable here.
She didn't think she could sleep, she'd always had to wake early for her duties, but she nodded and allowed Zanen to lead her towards the wagon they'd come from. She didn't think she'd like these people, not if they were like the caravan leader, but perhaps they'd surprise her. Zanen certainly had. If she liked them wasn't really the point though. She would have to learn from them, to prove to Zanen that she could survive out here. She didn't want to just survive though, she wanted to thrive so that she would make Zanen happy, so he wouldn't regret his hasty agreement to marry her. She would make a good wife for him, just like she promised.
Last updated on the January 25th 2010