So Frustrating! (1/2)

Writers: Cali, Eimi
Date Posted: 31st March 2009

Characters: L'rew, Karri
Description: Karri goes to L'rew as promised.
Location: Dragonsfall Weyr
Date: month 1, day 3 of Turn 5
Notes: This part isn't PG-17, but part 2 is.

"You know, I half thought you wouldn't answer." Karri said weakly as
L'rew let her into his weyr. She could have come sooner, she'd been
done with sweepriding for hours, but she'd had to work herself up to it.
Despite what Teseada had said, she didn't know if she was up to facing
him if it was all some mean joke.

"Please, come in, m'lady," the brownrider said, reaching for her hand
and bringing it to his lips. "Would you like a drink?"

Karri's eyes went wide and she stiffened as he kissed her hand. This
was not L'rew, at least not the one she knew. She swallowed hard trying
to make herself answer. "Um, sure. That sounds good."

Shards, the glows. He was supposed to turn down the glows. L'rew
hurried over to the candles he had spaced around the area. Striking a
match he almost swore when it didn't light on the first try. He scraped
it against the rough lining, but again the sulfur did not catch fire.
His hands were really starting to sweat now. **Come on, damn you!**
The brownrider almost sighed audibly as a little flame finally sprung to
life on the third try and he began lighting each candle carefully.
"Wine all right?"

"L'rew? Are you all right?" Karri asked uncertainly. She'd never seen
him behave in any such way, almost like he was trying to be _romantic_.
Which certainly wasn't L'rew.

"Of course," he said, irritation starting to creep into his tone at the
thought that she might be able to see right through to his nervousness.
L'rew quickly suppressed it. He was supposed to be calm and confident.
_She_ was supposed to be the nervous one. "Red or white?"

She caught that bit of irritation and somehow that relaxed her a bit.
Maybe he was just trying to impress her. Maybe he _was_ trying to be
romantic. He was certainly dressed nice, and the room did look inviting
with all the candles. She walked up next to him, looking over the
labels. They weren't the best, but by no means cheap, and she had to
smile over the fact that he gotten both for her to choose from. "Red I
think, thank you."

"Please, have a seat," he motioned towards the sofa, inwardly relieved
she had not chosen white. It had a cork, and a corkscrew was something
he had yet to master. He filled up both their glasses nearly to the top
and carefully carried them over to the sofa, trying hard not to spill it
all over himself. "Here you are."

"Thank you." Karri said, taking a sip from the glass immediately so as
to clear a bit of room inside. It might also relax her a bit. She
might have moved over into the nervousness mind set over it being a
trick, but she couldn't quite calm all her muscles that had knotted
themselves so tight on her walk over. She tucked her legs in under her,
trying to get comfortable on the couch, and wondered what was next.

L'rew also wondered what might be next as he sat down on the sofa next
to her, gulping at his own wine though he hated the taste of the stuff.
He tried not to grimace. Wine was supposed to be the drink of love, or
so he had heard. It tasted sour and stuck to his tongue. "It's good,
isn't it?" he lied, trying to smile.

Karri had spent enough evenings with N'klar to develop a taste for
wines, so she didn't have to lie when she nodded her approval. "It's
very nice... and thank you for trying to make this nice for me. I have
to admit I'm a bit nervous."

L'rew felt a flash of panic as he gripped his glass tighter. "I thought
you had done this before."

"Had sex? Yes, of course." Elliath had been rising for over a turn now,
so she'd had several partners as well. "I've just always been with
someone alot more experienced than me. I'm supposed to be the
experienced one now, yet here you are trying to put me at ease."

He stiffened slightly. "Isn't that what the man's supposed to do?" It
had certainly seemed like it was the man's job to reassure the women in
that sharding book!

Karri shrugged frustrated at her own inexperience. "I don't know, I
guess. I haven't been in this position before L'rew, I just thought
that _I_ was supposed to be putting _you_ at ease."

And now they _both_ felt uneasy and ill prepared. The brownrider look
down into the deep red wine in his glass. "If you want to go, I
understand."

"Do you _want_ me to go?" She was so flustered, she didn't know what
_she_ wanted. Why did he always make her feel this way? Why couldn't
she act normal around him?

L'rew was already retreating behind his wall of indifference.
"Whatever. It doesn't matter to me."

Karri felt her eyes start to sting as well as her chest tighten. She
felt the hurt and anger vying for dominance and she grabbed on to the
anger, unwilling to let him make her cry again. "Don't. Don't play
this game with me. It _does_ matter to you, now you tell me the truth.
Do you want to have sex with me or not!"

Shards, things went so differently in the book. He had screwed up
somehow, but he couldn't imagine where. L'rew thought he had done
everything right - candles, wine, he thought he looked pretty good.
Good enough at least. And yet here she was _yelling_ at him. He
thought he would be feeling more like a man, but now he just felt like a
scolded child. L'rew hated that feeling. Shrugging he all but
whispered, "I don't care."

Karri stood, unable to remain seated, or to sit next to him. "I thought
we were friends. I cared about you and wanted to help you but I won't
let you treat me like this. I won't allow myself to care about someone
who is just going to toy with my emotions."

"I didn't toy with anything!" L'rew shot back defensively. "I said you
could do whatever you want to do."

"I _wanted_ to be with you!" she cried, so furious she was shaking.

"Well then stay! Or go! Do what you want! What more do you want from
me?" Shards, she was so frustrating! It was like she expected him to
read her mind or something!

Shards, he was so frustrating! Part of her wanted to run away, while
the other part of just wanted to slap some sense into him. She looked
helplessly from the door back to him and did the only thing that could
break her out of her indecision. She kissed him.

Last updated on the April 27th 2009

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So Frustrating! (1/2)