Turmoil

Writers: Dana, Eimi
Date Posted: 1st March 2009

Characters: Nialyn, K'lar
Description: Nialyn and K'lar have very different reactions....
Location: Dragonsfall Weyr
Date: month 1, day 6 of Turn 5
Notes: Follows "Their First Night"

K'lar released a long sigh as he wrapped his arms around her, feeling
almost liquid down to his core. He buried his nose in her hair, breathing
her in as a cool draft danced across his skin covered in a thin layer of
perspiration. "Here," he said softly, reaching down pull the blanket
around the both of them. "We can't have you getting cold." He snuggled
back down against her, feeling that finally all was right in his world.

"Thanks," she whispered. The blanket was soft, softer than the coarse
brown hairs of his body that tickled her back. Slight tremors were still
running down her spine, and she supposed it was reaction to their
lovemaking. It hadn't been an...unpleasant experience...but Nialyn knew
it would have been more pleasurable and exciting if her mind hadn't been
squeaking "wait, wait" even as they had moved together, tangling in the
sheets. It had been so long since she had made love and K'lar had been
swift and thorough about it--more so than she thought he would have been.
She'd imagined that he would have seduced her slowly, making sure she was
comfortable before he moved on. Considering his personality, his
sensitivity and his gentle strength, was it really so far to leap to
imagine what she had? It was almost like he had turned into a slightly
different man in bed.

The brownrider had been oblivious to her doubts. She had seemed shy, but
she herself had admitted she was nervous. But in his mind, she was as
ready for this night as he had been. After all, wasn't it she who had
come to him saying she couldn't spend another night alone? She had been
so anxious to share his weyr, it was only natural for him to assume that
after months of holding back, she had felt the same desire to share his
bed. And it had made him so happy, the thought that she couldn't wait
another night to be with him. Just the thought made a soft glow, even
warmer than that left by their lovemaking, spread through his body and he
pulled her tighter against himself, turning his head to kiss her neck
softly. "Are you comfortable?"

She nodded, shifting a bit--her leg was starting to fall asleep. Shells,
she was sore. "Are you?" Now that it was over, she felt awkward,
tongue-tied. Nialyn hadn't thought she would feel like this after her
first time with him. She had imagined that she would know exactly what to
say to him as they lay entwined...like she had when Biri had been lying
next to her. But she had no clue what to say. She still felt confused,
and ashamed because of it. She wasn't ashamed of sleeping with him
finally--she was his weyrmate, after all. She was ashamed of feeling
disappointed...of being more satisfied with her fantasy than the actual
reality.

"Mmmhmmm," he hummed, feeling totally relaxed and at ease. Unlike her,
the brownrider felt as though his dreams were becoming reality - curling
up next the woman he loved, starting a family with her, making a home with
her... This was just the begining of a new life, and he was basking in
the joy of it all. "I almost can't believe you're here."

"Me either," she murmured. It felt surreal, and yet despite her
conflicting emotions, she did feel safe here in his bed, wrapped in his
arms. Safe and protected. Perhaps she had been too judgmental. It _was_
their first night together, and K'lar had kept his libido in check for so
long because he was gentlemanly enough to wait for her...so of course he
was going to let himself go as soon as she moved in. It was _her_ fault
for thinking too much and letting her emotions cloud her mind. K'lar
loved her, and he would learn eventually how she liked to be touched, how
she liked to be spoken to so she didn't feel like just a body to be used
for his pleasure. Maybe that was another reason why she was so upset--why
he seemed like a different man: because he hadn't spoken to her or really
looked at her. He'd said her name, breathing it in her ear, but it hadn't
been enough for her. And he'd kept his face buried in her neck, or chest,
and when he'd pull back, his eyes had held a faraway expression, like he
saw her, but he was more focused on their bodies. Biri had murmured sweet
nothings in her ear, gentle teases too, and when he would pull back he
would _see_ her.... Shards, she needed to stop doing that.

"Shards," he breathed, "I'm falling sleep. I think you wore me out."
K'lar chuckled, his breath tickling her neck and he kissed her skin
softly. "I just need a little nap," he muttered, gently pulling his arm
out from under her head and rolling over onto his other side to stretch
out.

She felt cold without his body there to block the chill. A shiver ran
down her spine, and she quickly pulled the blanket tighter around her
body. Nap? Right now? Nialyn felt irritation rise within her--but she
swiftly stomped down on that. It was the first night. He didn't know
that his moving away from her, even that short distance, made her feel
used. He didn't know that yet. They would get into a groove soon. They
would. All it would take was time. Biri hadn't known either at first,
and yet he had known enough to hold her until she had fallen asleep.
Kicking that thought away, she rolled over and moved so she was pressed up
against K'lar's back.

The brownrider was already lightly snoring, oblivious to the turmoil in
his new weyrmate's mind, and in her heart.

Last updated on the March 15th 2009

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Turmoil