Replacement

Writers: Dana, Eimi
Date Posted: 28th February 2009

Characters: Nialyn, Birigundi
Description: Nialyn confronts Birigundi about her decision to be K'lar's weyrmate
Location: Dragonsfall Weyr
Date: month 1, day 6 of Turn 5

Birigundi

Sitting with K'lar and talking their plans through for a good part of the
evening had given Nialyn the confidence she had so desperately needed to
approach Birigundi again the following day. She didn't start to feel a
bit intimidated until after she had knocked loudly on his door for the
third time. Shards, he was probably entertaining a guest. Well, the
little slut would just have to wait. She crossed her arms over her chest,
doing her best to ignore that twinge of jealousy and the feeling of shame
that followed it. It was over. She'd be living with K'lar now, and she
had no right to feel desire for anyone else--especially a pig-headed ass
who broke her heart and took away her freedom.

Birigundi was still rubbing the sleep from his eyes as he opened the door
for the rather obnoxious person who had interrupted a good dream. As his
eyes came into focus on the familiar face, he froze. Shards, what was she
doing here?

She stared silently up at him, blue eyes ice-cold. "I'm staying."

"With me?" As soon as the words left his mouth he knew that had been a
stupid thing to ask. "I mean, at the Weyr?"

"As you so nicely pointed out to me yesterday, I don't really have a
choice now, do I?"

He felt somewhat vindicated for the horrible things he had said to her.
Crossing his arms across his chest he nodded. "Good then. Lyndi will be
happier here."

She ground her teeth, wanting to wipe that arrogant look from his face.
Well, there was one way to do it. "We're moving in with K'lar."

It certainly did the trick! His arms fell loosely to his side as his face
turned absolutely dumbfounded. "You're what?"

There. Not so smug now, was he? Nialyn didn't smile, but she lifted her
chin, allowing herself to give in to her pride and ego. "He asked me, and
I said, yes, Lyndi and I would move in with him." Birigundi had never
asked her that--never once in their relationship.

"As what, his weyrmate?"

"Yes."

She couldn't be serious. "Well, that didn't take you long, did it. How'd
you convince him? Tell him you were a virgin?"

And just like that, all of her self-control snapped. "You ass!" she
snarled. "How dare you! He _asked_ me. _Me_! Because he loves me and
wants to take care of me the way a man should take care of a woman!"

"Oh shards, not more of that hidebound crap again," he groaned, leaning a
hand against the door frame. "Is that what this is all about? What do
you _want_ from me, Nia?"

"None of _your_ crap, that's for certain!" Let him take that any way he
wanted, she thought, glaring fiercely up at him.

Oh yes, she had made it very clear she wanted _nothing_ from him. "So
what, just to get back at me you'll move in with him? Is that it?"

For Faranth's sake! "The whole sharding world doesn't revolve around you,
Birigundi. If I have to stay here in this flaming place, then I'm going
to make a life for myself and Lyndi--a happy one. K'lar, me and
Lyndi...we're going to be a family."

Oh, that conniving bitch, he though with a humorless smile. He took a
step back into his weyr, shaking his head. "Well... You finally found
it, didn't you. The thing you knew you could use to twist me up to do
anything you wanted. Shards, I don't know if I should admire you or hate
you for that. All right. Fine." He threw his hands up in surrender.
"What do you want? I'll do it. You want me to keep my evenings
completely free? You want me to promise to not have sex with anyone else?
Tell me what you want, Nia. You win."

She stared at him, face white with fury. "You don't get it, do you?" she
hissed. "You _still_ don't get it! Your offers mean nothing to me, do
you understand? They don't come from you," she pressed a shaking hand to
her heart, "so they mean nothing. They're hollow. Empty." Just like his
sharding heart.

"That man," he replied, a voice quiet and restrained, "is not Lyndi's
father. He never will be Lyndi's father. So just tell me what you want.
I will do anything."

"If you really wanted us all to be a family, you would have asked me and
Lyndi to move in a Turn ago. You didn't, Birigundi. Faranth knows I
wanted you to ask me--you knew it too."

"Yeah? Well, maybe we could have been a family if you hadn't thrown me
out of your life. Ever thought of that? Ever thought that maybe it was
only a matter of time?" Had she been completely blind to the fact that he
had loved her and their daughter more than anything else in his life?

"So you expected me to wait until _you_ were ready?" Her laugh was
bitter. Did he have any idea how selfish that sounded?

"You would have wanted to force your way into my weyr when I _wasn't_?
You think that would have worked?" He would have resented her, hated her,
almost as much as he did now. "And I don't really think who is ready
first is the telling point. What really matters is that you were the
first to give up on us. You were the first to show me the door. I would
have..." His voice broke and he couldn't finish that thought. Not out
loud. She didn't deserve to hear that he would have loved her forever if
she had just given him the chance to.

"Because you purposefully hurt me! And not just once, but over and over
again. A woman gets tired of getting knifed in the same sharding place.
And she gets tired of waiting for a man who may or may not change." She
had deserved better than that. Shaking her head, she took a step
backwards. What good would it do to rehash everything all over again? It
always made things so much worse--like now. "I'm going to go."

He rushed forward without even thinking, closing the distance between
them. "Just give me a chance to change, Nia. I'll do it. I'll do
anything. You're _my_ family, not some brownrider's you barely know."

She shook her head, tugging against his grip, trying not to cry. It was
too late. Months and months too late. "Let me go."

"I'll do _anything_ you ask me, Nia. Please." He could feel tears
welling up in his own eyes. Birigundi couldn't bare the thought that his
daughter would be raised by another man, that Nia would sleep every night
in that brownrider's arms. "Just give me a chance. Please..."

"You'll still see her." Nialyn wouldn't look at him. Any moment now the
tears would escape and she couldn't weep in front of him. Not again.
"I...I have to go."

"I don't want to see her for a candlemark here and there when he gets her
every sharding day! She's my daughter, not his!" If he ever heard his
little girl call that man 'father', it would kill him. Nia had to know
that. She _had_ to know that! She had to be doing this just to punish
him, and he had done nothing to deserve that.

"I have to go!" she cried, pulling against his hold, tears finally
tangling in her lashes.

As she pulled away he slammed his fist into the door. Why was she doing
this?! "Shard it, Nia! She's mine and you know it's not right!"

"She's mine too!" Nialyn warily watched that fist, moving further back
away from him. "And she lives with me. _I'm_ her mother, and I'm going
to do what's best for the both of us."

"Don't think I'm just going to stand by and watch you replace me in my
daughter's life! Don't even think it!" he screamed down the corridor
after her before slamming his door shut with a resounding crack. Biri
slumped back against the cold hard wood, his back slowly sliding down as
tears escaped his eyes. The image of K'lar with his daughter, giggling
and happily bouncing on his knee filled his mind. It was bad enough she
would take his daughter far from him, but this was even worse. How could
she make him watch while that man took his place in his daughter's life?
How could she do this to him? "She's _my_ daughter..." he whispered,
curling into himself and giving into the wracking sobs that could no
longer be held back.

Last updated on the March 15th 2009

Welcome to Triad Weyrs!

Replacement