The Happiest Day of His Life

Writers: Dana, Eimi
Date Posted: 23rd November 2008

Characters: Traelyn, U'kaiah
Description: U'kaiah finally learns the truth...
Location: Dragonsfall Weyr
Date: month 12, day 5 of Turn 4

Shards, had it only been nine months ago when the hurricanes had hit
Dolphin Cove, and she and Nyith had been forced to retreat to
Dragonsfall?
In some ways, as Traelyn stared down at the broken egg shells scattered
across the golden sands, that time seemed like a lifetime ago. And yet
the snippets of memories that came back were vivid: Nyith forcing her
exhausted body to rise so she could prowl around the Sands to check each
egg again, whining softly when she looked at Traelyn, eyes whirling in
sorrow as she mourned the loss of the eggs that didn't make it; U'kaiah
coming here to see her, taking her in his arms and letting her weep,
stroking her hair and murmuring soothing nothings as she released the
pent-up emotions of the day through tears; days later, U'kaiah,
bleary-eyed and voice muzzy with sleep, coming out here to find her with
her queen, then sitting down behind her, wrapping her in a soft blanket
and bringing her back against his body, comforting her with his touch,
his
presence.

Her hands tightened on the railing hard enough to bring her back to the
moment. Faranth, now was not the time to remember all of that. The
pang
of regret she felt was too painful. They had known what they were
about,
then. They had known where they stood with one another-had been secure
in
their friendship and the something more growing between them. But
now...
Shells, she hardly knew where they stood. He had been completely
indifferent towards her tonight. Even when they'd danced, his steps,
which should have been fluid, seemed jerky and forced, and his hands,
which usually grasped her tightly or wandered in affectionate caresses,
had barely touched her. And they had barely spoken. All throughout the
dance her temper slowly burned, and she knew it had showed in her eyes,
but it couldn't be helped. She was furious with him-and herself. Why
had
she even come, if she was to be treated like this? She would have had
to
make an appearance anyway, she knew; she was Dolphin Cove's Weyrwoman
and
owed much to Dragonsfall. But she had come for _him_ specifically.

And so, with her temper simmering, she'd escaped his indifferent arms
and
had watched him dance with other women while sipping a large glass of
wine
to try and douse the worst of her anger. It hadn't really worked. The
way many of those women had touched him spoke of their intimate
familiarity with him, and that had made her keenly jealous. No wonder
he
doesn't want to leave, she had thought bitterly, watching as he had
reciprocated in kind-not, she had to admit, to their extent, but enough
to
make her down the rest of her wine in one swallow. He hadn't touched
her
like that at all tonight. And she wanted him to touch her. Even though
she was furious with him, she wanted him to do it, to reassure her
that...
But before she could finish that dangerous thought, Traelyn had shaken
herself. Those thoughts manifested a weakness she couldn't show to him
tonight.

Knowing that she was on the very edge, Traelyn had slipped away into the
crowd. No one could see her like this, with her face as open as she
felt
it to be. So she'd retreated to the Hatching Grounds to be alone so she
could gather her thoughts and emotions-to gather her strength so she
could
face him again.

U'kaiah had noticed when she had slipped away, but he was in no position
to follow her. There were so many parents to congratulate, so many
important visitors to greet, candidates to console. And there were so
many of his riders and Weyrfolk that he had been raised with all his
life,
or had lead in Threadfall, or had known in other ways, that had wanted
to
congratulate him and tell him how proud he should be of his first fine
Clutch. It should have been the happiest day of his life, but Trae was
on
his mind far more than his accomplishments, especially after his little
chat with N'vanik.

Finally he found a moment to slip away. She wasn't hard to find. He
watched her grip at the railing, looking out over the broken shells.
"Trae?"

Her eyes closed briefly at the sound of his voice, then she turned her
head to look at him. As she watched him walk towards her, she knew she
wasn't ready for him yet. She still felt too raw, too confused.
"You'll
be missed."

"I don't care about that," he lied. Truly, that thought had been in the
back of his mind as he wandered the halls looking for her, but he cared
about finding her a whole lot more. "Why did you leave?"

He needed to work on his poker face. But shards, who was she to talk?
"I
needed to get some air." Which wasn't a total lie--she _had_ needed to
get away.

The sweltering Stands were hardly the place one went to get some air,
the
bronzerider thought as he leaned his fore-arms against the railing
beside
her. "What did I do now?"

The way he phrased it made her jaw tighten, and she looked away back to
the broken shards littering the ground. Why lie to him? He knew her
too
well. "Why did you even want me here tonight, U'kaiah? You were
treating
me out there as if...like I was a sharding acquaintance you could barely
tolerate."

"You pulled away from me," he replied defensively.

"Only because I thought that neither of us could take the fake
pleasantries any longer." She knew she certainly couldn't.

"Perhaps it wouldn't have been so fake if you had acted the least happy
to
see me." What did she expect, that he would throw his arms around her
and
kiss her soundly when she had looked at him that way?

"I _was_, U'kaiah."

"Oh crackdust," the bronzerider muttered, shaking his head in
frustration.
"You think I can't tell when you're pissed at me? You've been pushing
me
away for sevendays."

She ground her teeth. "So now it's all my fault?"

"In order for someone to be at fault that means one of us must have done
something that they need to take some sort of blame for, and so far I
can't think of a single sharding thing I did wrong. I let you be pissed
at me the last three times we met. Just how long am I supposed to put
up
with this, Trae?"

"I'm not the only one who's made this difficult," she said, turning her
head to look at him. "You're angry too--you've _been_ angry the past
times we've seen each other. Don't pretend to me that you haven't
been."

"Oh for Faranth's sake," he growled pushing himself off the railing and
sitting down on the cold stone bench. "Don't try to put the blame on
me.
I wasn't the one who was angry. I had nothing to be angry about before.
I gave you a wide bearth of course but I knew how sharding pissed at me
you were. And for what I can't fathom. I did nothing wrong!"

Was the man so blind to her emotions? Anger was a sharding cover!
B'ram
would have seen right through it, he would have known.... But U'kaiah
was
not B'ram. "Of _course_ you didn't." Her tone was snide, eyes flashing
with temper. "You never do anything 'wrong.' It's all about honor and
dignity for you. What I don't get is how you get a sense of honor when
you tell your lover that she'll never be woman enough for you because
she
isn't Dragonsfall's Weyrwoman."

U'kaiah threw his hands up helplessly. Now she was pulling things out
of
her arse! "When did I _ever_ say you weren't woman enough for anything?
My not wanting to go to Dolphin Cove to be your Weyrleader actually had
nothing to do with you!"

"We _needed_ you! Far more than Kapera ever will!" Or any of the
sharding women hanging all over him tonight.

"My people need me too! What, did you think I could just leave them to
be
lead by the likes of N'vanik?!"

"Do _not_ insult my Weyrleader to my face, U'kaiah!"

"It's not an insult! It's the truth!" he shot back. "But he's not the
one I have to worry about anymore, is he."

"What are you sharding talking about?"

"I just have a feeling I'm not missed quite as much as you make it out
to
sound, that's all." U'kaiah had try to stomp down on his jealousy, but
he
was too angry to hold back any more. It had been all right when he had
heard rumors, but when N'vanik confirmed it...

Furious and uncomprehending, she stared down at him. "What?"

"Oh don't play dumb with me, Trae! I've heard how you've been running
around with that brownrider of yours!" Her denial just rubbed salt into
the festering wound.

Something deep inside of her laughed in satisfaction. "Oh, like you've
been running around with your hordes of greenriders _and_ two goldriders
on top of them?"

"Yeah, we scratch each other's itches from time to time, but there are
no
serious attachments with them." He certainly never spent time
exclusively
with one or singled one out as a favorite. That was Trae's place. But
she obviously had a strong preference. "Just how serious are you with
this man?"

Finally--_finally_--he knew about B'ram. And by the angry look on his
face, he was feeling more than just worried. Traelyn lifted her chin,
expression defiant. "I've known him all my life."

"I've known half these women all my life!" He was no longer trying to
contain his anger as he pointed a furious finger back in the direction
he
had come from. "I don't parade them around like my sharding pets!"

Faranth, B'ram was anything but a _pet_. She angrily braced her hands
on
her hips. "You know what, we've had this argument before, U'kaiah. And
I'll say to you what I said to you a Turn and a half ago: it's none of
your sharding business! And, for your information, I do not parade him
around like a sharding pet. He's there for me when I need someone--and
has been."

"So what have I been then, hmm? Your restday entertainment?!" Why
didn't
she just say it? He was the one who wasn't there, and never would be.
"Just admit it! I'm nothing more than a sharding interlude!"

"You know it was more than that!" she snarled.

"No, Trae, I don't know that anymore," he growled, standing to pace in
front of her like a feline in a cage. "Ever since that sharding Flight
you've taken your private little fling with this brownrider very public
while you push me away at every flaming turn. How long has this been
going
on, Trae? Just long has he 'been there' for you?"

She was suddenly on the defensive, and she didn't like it. Not one bit.
"He's there every day. It could have been you. Should have been!"

Every sharding day?! So what, as soon as Kalamath lifted off her ledge
he'd come slithering into the bed still warm from their lovemaking? The
imagry was painfully clear in the bronzerider's mind. "How long have
you
been screwing him, Trae? How long?!"

More than a Turn! she wanted to shout at him. But she held it
back--forced herself to swallow the words. "And how long have you been
screwing Kapera? As soon as she waltzed into the Weyr? As soon as you
knew her gold would rise first? Did you bear her down to the bed to try
and secure your place as Weyrleader--and have kept at it ever since?"

"I don't have to sleep my way into a position, Trae. Not every dragon
goes for the first bronze it knows," he replied with a sneer. "I sleep
with her from time to time, but you know what? She comes to _me_. And
I
certainly wouldn't see her every sharding day and hide behind lame
excuses! I don't care if she's here every day! I wouldn't have done
that
to you!"

The guilt that shot through her heart made her temper blaze, and Nyith
bellowed her outrage from the Heights. A tense silence fell, broken
only
by their ragged breaths. "Is that all?" she asked tightly.

"Does he love you?" he asked, his voice quiet but his eyes hard as he
remembered the brownrider's possessive stare. U'kaiah had wondered if
the
man had imagined he held some claim over the Weyrwoman, and everything
the
bronzerider heard tonight only made it more apparently that he in fact
did.

She lifted her chin, but kept her silence.

The bronzerider took her defiant attitude as a confirmation. "Do you
love
him?"

"I didn't come here to be interrogated." She moved stiffly away from
him.
"I should have left earlier. It probably would have been better for
both
of us if I had."

"_Do_you_love_him!" U'kaiah barked, his face telling her he would not
accept just another brush off from her as his words bounced and
resonated
through the cavern.

"Yes!" The word burst from her, and she went very still, heart
hammering
painfully in her chest as she glared icily at him. It was the worst
hurt
she could have possibly given him tonight--she knew that. Knew it, and
something inside of her reveled in that fact.

They stood there staring silently at each other for a long moment as the
word echoed in his ears. Turning, he curled his fingers around the
railing they had been leaning on just moments before. If his hands were
strong enough he would have snapped it in two with the ferocity of his
white-knuckled grip. **This is supposed to be the happiest day of my
life...** But he couldn't think on all this now. U'kaiah still had his
duty to the Weyr. He took a couple deep breaths to calm himself. "I
should get back to the party," he murmured quietly as he released the
railing and turned back to the party.

Traelyn watched him go, furious. Well, what had he sharding expected
from
her? He had cornered her, and she had lashed out. He'd wanted to know,
and she'd told him. _She_ wasn't the one who'd maneuvered the
conversation in that painful direction, although, she couldn't deny the
part of her that found satisfaction in him finally knowing about B'ram.
He finally knew, but his reaction hadn't been what she'd expected.
Jealousy she'd gotten--but only up to a certain point. She hadn't been
able to read his expression when the truth came out. He hadn't argued,
hadn't railed or ranted. He hadn't given her any of the signs that
would
have signaled that he would...well, try harder for her. His calm
acceptance unnerved her, but pride kept her from feeling fear. He was
too
proud to back down from a challenge.

He'd come back.

He always came back.

Last updated on the November 23rd 2008

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The Happiest Day of His Life