It's Not Easy

Writers: AL, Kaysea
Date Posted: 21st July 2008

Characters: Irlani, J'gen, Gyta
Description: Irlani arrives at J'ge's weyr early to be sure she is there when Gyta awakens.
Location: Dragonsfall Weyr
Date: month 11, day 3 of Turn 4

Irlani showed up first thing in the morning to be sure she would be
there when Gyta awoke. She had promised that she would be there when
the child did awken in her lullabye, and she meant to do just that.
She knocked lightly on the door to the weyr, then stepped back to
wait.

J'gen pulled his trous up around his waist as he walked towards the
door. His chest was still bare, but he figured whoever was on the
other side of the door had seen a naked chest before. He pulled the
door open without any preamble and almost closed it again when he
realised it was Irlani on the other side. "Oh, sorry." he blustered,
ushering her inside. "If I'd known, I would have dressed properly. I
er, wasn't expecting you this early."

"Sorry. I told Gyta I would be here when she awoke." Irlani couldn't
help but smile at his discomfort. "I wanted to keep that promise."

"Oh, er, yes, okay." he nodded. "Look, you go and wake her, and I'll
finish getting dressed, okay?" he asked, edging slowly towards his
room.

Irlani barely managed to supress a laugh at the expression upon the
dragonrider's face. She hadn't quite expected him to be so...shy. She
moved toward the alcove where Gyta slept and pushed aside the curtain.
She stood there a few moments, gazing upon the sleeping form. She
looked so peaceful there. Irlani hated to disturb her.

"Would you like a cup of klah?" J'gen asked, walking past the alcove to
the small breakfast area. A drudge had already brought up a large
flagon of klah and a smaller jug of juice as well as a tray laden with
breakfast items. All cold foods, but that was what he really
preferred to start the day with. He didn't look at Irlani as he
walked past, he was still recovering from his earlier embarrassment.

"That would be lovely." Irlani turned to look at him. "Should I let
her sleep a bit longer?"

"You can if you like? Have a cuppa and something to eat to start the
day, and then we'll prepare her something to eat afterwards."

Irlani took one last look at the sleeping child, so peaceful for the
moment. The woman finally took a step back and followed J'gen. "Did
she have anymore nightmares?"

"No, she fell into a deeper sleep than I've seen her in for a long
time, and she slept soundly for the remainder of the night." which was
more than could be said of him. His dreams had been filled with
visions of Syrita, more than he had had dreams of her in a long time.
"Your singing to her last night must have been as comforting as her
mother singing to her." he commented, pulling out a seat and placing a
cup down for her klah.

"Really?" That pleased her and she smiled. Unfortunately, Irlani
wasn't normally there at night. But maybe...an idea began to form.
Yes. She would go talk with a Technician. "I'm glad she slept well."
As if something in her knew what he was thinking, Irlani asked, "What
about you?"

"Ah well, I have good nights and bad, depending on my work. Last night
- not so good." he shook his head, better to blame it on work than
memories of better times.

"I'm sorry to hear that." Irlani knew how hard it was to get through
the day without decent sleep - especially when one wouldn't have the
chance to take a nap. "I didn't realise your work affected you that
way."

"It does at times. Especially after a bad fall. But usually I toss and
turn over hidework," he said with a chagrined look on his face. "I hate
hidework." He pulled out her chair and beckoned for her to sit. "Come on,
have something to eat before madam gets out of bed." He had always liked
this time in the morning, time when he and Syrita had been able to sit and
talk before Gyta joined them. Planning their days and their days away from
the Weyr visiting old friends and family - he didn't realise how much he had
missed those times - until now.

"I didn't mean for you to have to feed me." Irlani admitted, a bit
chagrined. "I just wanted to keep my promise and I wasn't sure when she
would awaken."

"I don't feel I have to, but.... its nice to have someone to talk to in the
morning. I miss Syrita's company." he admitted, his eye not meeting hers;
he was afraid he would reveal just how much he missed his weyrmate.

"I'm sorry." Irlani whispered, her gaze frozen upon the man before her. It
was the closest she had ever seen him get to any sort of emotional state.
Of course, most men didn't make their feelings known for the world to see,
but it made her feel good that he could admit something like that to her.
That she could be taken into his confidence. "I miss K'lin."

"It's not easy, is it?" he finally lifted his gaze up and met hers. "Oh
shards! I didn't mean to get so maudlin, I'm sorry Irlani, what a way to
start he day." he shook his head, a soft smile on his face, "Forgive me?"

The woman slowly reached over to cover J'gen's hand with her own. "It's
okay, J'gen. And it's okay to remember them. It's sad, but at least we had
them in our lives and we have our memories to treasure, right?"

"You're right." he nodded, then his attention was taken by a movement from
the corner of the room, "Uh oh. I guess this is the end of quiet time." he
grinned, nodding towards Gyta who had appeared from behind the alcove
curtain.

Irlani's hand slipped from J'gen's as she turned, smile flashing brightly at
her foster daughter. "Good morning sleepy head. Did you sleep well?"

Gyta nodded quickly, her smile wide when she realised it was her foster
mother sitting at the table. She had kept her word from the night before.
The little girl crossed the room quickly and threw herself against Irlani in
a huge hug.

"Well, good morning to you too!" Irlani returned the embrace with one of
her own, squeezing the girl tightly. "Are you ready for some breakfast?"

Gyta nodded at her, before releasing Irlani and making her way around to her
father's side of the table, and hugging him just as tightly. The smile that
graced her face was a joy to see; it brightened her whole face and lit up
her eyes the way that hadn't in a very long time.

"Well then," Irlani drawled, her gaze meeting J'gen's once more. "I say
let's eat. I'm rather hungry myself."

"Good, because as you can see, they always provide more than enough." he
smiled, in reply. It did his heart good to see his daughter so happy - and
there was no denying it, the child _was_ happy. He rose from the table and
collected the tray that had been brought up from the kitchens that morning.
Laden with fruit and nuts, cheeses and bread and left over meat from the
night before. "Dig in."

Irlani reached over and took up a bit of cheese, bread, and a redfruit. Her gaze moved from father to daughter and her smile softened. K'lin would have loved a child of his own, but he had doted on her fosters...their fosters, with all the love of a biological father. He had seemed particularly fond of girls, and she knew that he would have adored Gyta.

Alas, that was in the past, and there was no sense in dwelling on what could or could not be. Irlani was grateful for what she had now, friends, and a lovely foster daughter who loved her - and whom she loved as if the child had been a product of her own womb.

Last updated on the July 24th 2008

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It's Not Easy