Wanting to Reach Out 2/2

Writers: Kaysea, Rochelle
Date Posted: 1st September 2007

Characters: M'nex, Badaral, Turoar, Vasco
Description: M'nex realises how deeply Badaral's feelings run for J'ritem.
Location: Dragonsfall Weyr
Date: month 6, day 1 of Turn 4

M'nex sighed, finally releasing his grip on Badaral. "Sit down for a moment, will you?" He said, falling into the chair across from him.

"Do I have to?" Badaral asked, "I know I did wrong, but you don't ... oh never mind." he slumped into the chair next to the bluerider. "Let's get this over with." He felt defeated.

M'nex studied him for a moment before asking quietly. "You really care about him, don't you?"

His eyes widened at the riders question, but he couldn't meet M'nex's gaze. "What? Care about who - Vasco?" he gave a snort of derision, "You've _got_ to be joking!"

If M'nex's heart hadn't still been racing, he might have enjoyed the comment. But he wasn't amused this time, and he frowned at the candidate.
"No. J'ritem."

"J'ri-" he felt the name catch in his throat at the same time that his heart began thumping so hard in his chest that he thought it would become visible; heat flushed, rising instantly to his face. His gaze shot across the cavern and fastened on the green rider. "J'ritem? Wha- what makes you think I ... "

M'nex looked pointedly at Ari, watching the blush spread spectacularly across his face and neck. "My dragon's blue, Badaral." He reminded the candidate pointedly. "It isn't hard to pick up."

Ari averted his gaze, his eyes locked onto his hands, which twined together in his lap. "Is it that obvious?" he asked, finally - knowing it was no good to deny it, not when as M'nex said, he understood and recognised him for what he was.

"You've kind of made it that way." M'nex admitted, gesturing vaguely at the alcove to indicate the events that had just taken place. "When did you realize it, Ari?" He asked gently. He didn't know how much experience the candidate had with his emotions. If J'ritem was his first... It wouldn't be the strangest first crush M'nex had heard of, but it was definitely talking marks for one of the most potentially painful.

"I..it was what he said. About - about J'ritem that did it." he confessed, referring to the argument with Vasco. "I can handle being talked about or teased, it'd be nothing new. At least here I don't have to try and hide my feelings - or, at least I didn't think I had to." He looked up across the cavern once more, his eyes fixed on J'ritem where he sat with his friends and felt a lump welling in his chest. "When did I realise about me - or about him?" he asked, alluding to the question M'nex had asked, and nodding towards the green rider at the table.

"You." M'nex said simply, leaning on the table.

Ari shrugged, "I guess I've always know, deep down inside." He picked up the knife from his plate and began pushing the remains of his meal around his plate; subconsciously needing to be doing something, while having such a deep conversation.

"Crushes on other boys in the hold." he emitted a 'humph', "but _never_
letting them know. It wasn't right. You know?" he turned and looked at M'nex. "You ever lived in a hold?" he asked.

M'nex shook his head. "No. Weyrbred." He confessed. "But I have a lot of friends who were. Actually, most blue and male greenriders are now. Just too many of them to be otherwise." He smiled kindly at Badaral, relieved that J'ritem wasn't his first. At least he didn't have to deal with that hurdle... "So you knew before you came then. And J'ritem?"

"I sense his loneliness." Ari admitted, "He thinks like I did, before I came to the Weyr. As though there's nothing else for him, just him and Lecitrith, but there's something more. I can't... explain it." he tossed the knife to the plate, and watched as it clattered.

"I _like_ him, you know?" he turned, meeting M'nex eyes, "Its just _something_." he shook his head, and turned to look once more at the greenrider across the room. "But he doesn't know, doesn't know I even exist as more than a nuisance who won't take no for an answer." his words while not bitter, were coloured with disappointment.

M'nex was quiet for a moment as he mulled things over. Badaral was right about J'ritem not knowing, that was certain. And forcibly bringing it to his attention wouldn't be a good idea either. But... He knew Ari was right about J'ritem being lonely. It was why his fostermother had been hoping so hard for J'ritem to find someone... Maybe... "Maybe not taking 'no' for an answer is the right thing to do." He murmured.

"It doesn't seem to be helping me at the moment." he sighed. "Look, he glances across here and frowns at me. I smile, but he frowns even harder. I _try_ to be friendly and I'm sure he's suspicious of my motives." once more he dropped his gaze to the table. "I don't know what else to do, but keep putting myself in his way, M'nex. I want him to at least give me a chance - even as a friend."

"I hate to say this, but I don't think he'll give you a chance." M'nex said with a sigh. "I think, if you're certain you really like him, that your best bet is to keep doing what you're doing. He may not give you much of a chance, but I know he doesn't know what to make of you yet. If you let him get used to you being around though..." He shrugged, looking sympathetic. "Who knows?"

"I hope you're right." the candidate said, his eyes only briefly leaving the greenrider. "You think better I pester him with my presence, than let him know how I feel?"

"I wouldn't call it 'pester' exactly." M'nex said with a mirthless laugh.
"But let him get used to having you around. If he sees someone who isn't scared off by his appearance or behavior, that doesn't share his problems or feel 'obligated' to do so like his family..." He shrugged. "I think it would be a good thing. I can't promise he'll ever become a friend or return your feelings, but it's a chance." He said softly.

"Thanks M'nex." Ari nodded, "Thanks for not reporting me either." he smiled softly. "I don't think the Headwoman would be too pleased with me.
I've already been in trouble more times than I care to remember."

M'nex chuckled. "I'm not really sure I'd want to explain this one to mum.
She wants J'ritem to be happy, but I think she has someone a little closer to his age and experience in mind." He admitted dryly.

Badaral felt the colour drain from his face, his eyes widened registering his shock, "What?" his voice was barely a croak.

M'nex blinked. "What's wrong?" Realization colored his mind. "Oh. You didn't realize that mum was the Headwoman?"

Ari's eyes rolled. *Shards! No!* he shook his head slowly, how did he manage to get himself into this. "No.." he continued shaking his head, "No, I didn't know."

"Well, now you do." M'nex said cheerfully. "And J'ritem is her only son, since I was just a fosterling. Didn't you ever wonder why she tends to favor the disabled riders? J'ritem's why."

**Oh Faranth, could this news get any worse?** M'nex's comment about J'ritem being Tatitem's only son, came just as the mark dropped for Ari.
"I think my chances have just become _that_ much worse." he looked sorrowfully at M'nex, "Your mum... she _hates_ me." He dropped his head in his hands, "I just thought she... had befriended them all, since they spend more time in the cavern socialising than the other riders..."

"She has, actually." M'nex admitted, watching the candidate closely. "And I doubt she really _hates_ you. Depending on what you've done, you probably aren't very high on her list, but she rarely _hates_ anyone. All the same, I would recommend toeing a _VERY_ tight line from now on, especially if you want J'ritem to see you for yourself."

His hands slipped from his face, and he turned a hopeful look on M'nex, "You may not realise this, but your mum threatened to boot me and Turoar back to the Holds we came from." Ari said quietly, "We know now, she wouldn't have, but the threat was enough, we've both been toeing the line since our last encounter - until today." he said, and flushed a little in embarrassment.

M'nex's eyes widened. "Whoa. What did you do, get drunk and harass someone?" He paused, and shook his head. "No, never mind. I don't want to know. But I would definitely continue keeping your head down for a few months, so she can get out of the reflex of thinking about you as a troublemaker. It will take a while, but it has been done."

"Well, looks like I'm going to have my work cut out for me." he sighed heavily. "Trying to keep in your brother's line of vision while avoiding your mother's." he shook his head in resignation. "But you say it has been done? Well I'll give it a go, I don't really have anything to lose, it's not as if I have J'ritem's friendship now, is it?"

"I'm afraid not." M'nex said sympathetically. "And it won't be easy. But if you're serious, I'll do whatever I can to help, okay?"

"Thanks M'nex, it's appreciated." Ari took one last look at J'ritem sitting with his friends and stood up. "I'd better get going," he said, "I don't want your mother chasing me down over chores - especially not now."
he gave the bluerider a slow smile and a pat of thanks, before turning to go.

M'nex watched Ari turn to go, mentally shaking his head. Poor kid. He loved his fosterbrother. But he was all too aware of how difficult he could be -he'd spent the last four turns since Thread started falling acting as a negotiator between J'ritem and the rest of the world. Badaral had chosen himself a near impossible task. He hoped he was up to it. From the looks of it, they _both_ needed him to try. "Good luck."

Last updated on the September 2nd 2007

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Wanting to Reach Out 2/2