All We Want

Writers: Clancey, Dana
Date Posted: 10th July 2007

Characters: J'darin, Traelyn
Description: J'darin comes to see Traelyn at Dragonsfall, and the two Weyrleaders talk.
Location: Dragonsfall Weyr
Date: month 3, day 28 of Turn 4

J'darin

The pair came out of /between/ over Dragonsfall, with Hasaarth announcing his presence to the watchdragon definitively. He was as eager to see his golden mate as J'darin was to make sure Traelyn was alright, this far from home. And he wished to tell her all that had happened in her absence, including the heart-wrenching decision he'd made to send younger riders to the Wings.

At least he hoped she was starting to think of Dolphin Cove as her home.

They landed in the Weyrbowl, trying to be a little quiet, and Hasaarth hurriedly bespoke Nyith.

}:We are here. Mine would like to visit yours. May we come?:{ Nyith immediately gave her permission, and rose to her feet to twine necks with her mate. Traelyn was on her own feet just as quickly to meet J'darin halfway down the stairs. They had exchanged letters of the course, but she hadn't seen him in person since that horrible day. He looked the same, with his gait long and purposeful, his shoulders squared and his head held high, but there was a weariness in his eyes that hadn't been there before.

Hasaarth was rolling happiness off him in waves, despite the work he and his rider had been doing for days, and the sadness at Dolphin Cove. He twined his neck around Nyith's and crooned to her. J'darin could hear Hasaarth speaking to his mate, but he blocked it out so he could wrap up Traelyn in a hug.

Strong arms held her briefly for a moment, reminding them both for a brief time that they were both here, and real.

Lines carved his finely made face that had not been there just two sevendays before, and he was beyond tired, into exhausted.

"Hello, Trae." He said quietly. "Both of you alright?"

"We're doing fine. I would ask you the same, but shards, J'darin..." One fingertip lightly traced a stress line around the mouth. "You look so tired." Gently she led him off the stair into the stands and lowered them both onto it.

He leaned back against the stands and half closed his eyes. "Oh Trae, I'm so tired. It's so hard to see the Weyr and the land around after the storm. It's been very rough; I've had to do some things I never thought I would do." His voice trailed off for a moment and he leaned over to kiss her cheek.

"We miss you both so much." An arm slipped around her shoulders. "Is Nyith handling the new Hatching Grounds alright? She seems good. The eggs..." he paused, opening his eyes all the way to look at the eggs. "... at least the ones that are left, they look better."

"Soon they'll be hard enough to take back to Dolphin Cove," she told him, leaning against his side. "When the Sands are dried out, that is." She paused, then murmured softly, "I wish I could have been there for Threadfall, J'darin. I know I couldn't have flown, but I wanted to be there for you."

He smiled at her, touching her cheek briefly. "Thank you, Trae. I know."
His smile faltered. "No one could fly.. and so many got hurt the day ..
after...and I lost four more riders /between/." He sighed deeply, his shoulders sagging under some unseen weight.

"I made a decision the day after that Fall. I think I wrote to you about it. I wanted to talk to you so badly."

Reaching over, she took his hand in hers and squeezed it encouragingly. "I'm here now, J'darin. Talk to me."

He squeezed her hand back, meeting her eyes for a moment. "You have heavy weights of your own, dear Weyrwoman. You don't need to bear my burdens too." He lifted a hand and traced her cheek for a moment. "How are you really? Do you need anything?"

She smiled at him. "I'm fine, truly. But I wish I could do more for you, and for the Weyr."

"You're doing it, love." He waved toward Nyith's golden form where it curled with his own bronze. "We need those precious hatchlings more than ever." He said quietly. "And I need all of you back safely home."

"In the meantime, I had to take drastic action." His eyes hooded a bit as he turned back to look at her. "I lowered the age limit to 15 turns to fly with the Wings the day after that horrid Threadfall."

"Oh, J'darin...." She looked up at him, anguish and understanding in her eyes. "I know why you did it. And I know it had to be done. We need more dragons in our Wings." Gently she rubbed his hand. "What did Y'sani say?"

"Y'sani and I had a long discussion. I didn't really give him much choice. This is what I wanted - needed - to do. But K'deren didn't understand." He sighed softly. "I never thought being Weyrleader would hurt so much, Trae." He tried to relax, sitting next to her, breathing in and out, and wondering why he ever wanted to become Weyrleader in the first place.

"I don't think a Weyrleader, or Weyrwoman, truly realizes their power and their control until something awful like this happens. All we see at first is the honor and the status Weyrleadership brings us." She shook her head.
"That was the Interval mindset. It's hard to overcome sometimes, isn't it?
But shards, J'darin, I know it won't get any easier...but we're doing what we have to. We'll get through this."

"I hope so, lass. I hope so." He smiled faintly at her. "I couldn't do it without you, Traelyn. Thank you for being my Weyrwoman."

She smiled back. "We'll be all right, J'darin." They had to be. And they both had to believe it, too. If they didn't, none of the people of their Weyr would.

He looked at her for a moment, his eyebrow quirking in curiosity. "Are you sure you're alright, Trae? You seem somewhat distant... " He watched her with concern; he wasn't sure he was saying what he meant. She seemed so ... locked away. Leaning back, he sighed softly. Perhaps they weren't as close as they used to be? He remembered her coming to sleep in his weyr sometimes, when she was new to Dolphin Cove.

"What do you mean?"

"I don't know what I mean, really. Nothing I suppose." He sighed a bit, the weight settling back around his shoulders. "I had better get back to the Weyr; we're still digging out from under the damage. It is getting better, though." He smiled toward the end. They would recover just fine, as they always did.

"I'm glad you came here, J'darin." She gave him another soft smile, trying to ease the sudden, slight tension between them. She didn't want him to leave on such a note, considering everything. "And I wish I could do more..."

He shook his head at her, smiling a bit more. "Silly Trae! You have enough to do with your golden beauty there. I'm not sure she's going to let Hasaarth leave so soon." He smiled toward their dragons, who were still crouched next to each other. "Do you suppose they talk about us where we can't hear them?" He said curiously, struck by how close the bronze and the gold were laying next to each other.

"I have no doubt! You know how dragons love to gossip." A slow grin spread across her lips. "Why should they be any different?"

Some of the tension faded from his face as they spoke of dragon gossip. He would worry about what went on behind his Weyrwoman's eyes another day.
They both had other worries, and he had not seen enough of his Harper since the Storm.

He chuckled dryly and nodded. "I suppose so. I wonder what they say? And then, I wonder if I want to know!" He offered her a gentle smile. "Just hurry home to us, Trae, thats all we can ask. And its all we want."

Last updated on the July 11th 2007

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All We Want