A Positive Sign

Writers: Dana, Eimi
Date Posted: 26th May 2007

Characters: Nialyn, Birigundi
Description: Birigundi realizes he made a bit of a mistake and tries to correct it
Location: Dragonsfall Weyr
Date: month 3, day 20 of Turn 4
Notes: Follows "Another Bump In the Road"

Birigundi

Birigundi was utterly confused by Nia. He thought things were going well.
She had seemed into it. Shards, she was practically taking charge! And
shells, but it was so hot when she pulled his shirt aside... But then she
stopped. He just didn't get it.

Sighing he pulled his shirt off and threw it on the end of the bed. Maybe
it had been too fast. He did kind of push her. It's not that he had
_meant_ to push her. But he had been hoping she'd be ready again. The
past few months seeing her nearly every day, thinking of her every day,
wanting her practically every single day... it was getting hard to wait
much longer.

He walked over to the small basin he had in his room and began brushing
his teeth, trying not to think too much about what had happened, and yet
he couldn't stop thinking about it either. For a moment there, things had
been like they were before Lyndi had been born. Flirty, seductive,
arousing... Not that he regretted Lyndi one bit, but he did miss the
intimacy they had shared. And they'd get it back, he knew. Just... not
yet...

As he wiped his mouth off on a towel his eyes glanced up into the mirror.
"What the..." he muttered, seeing dark spots on his neck he hadn't noticed
before. Did Nia do that? He fingered them lightly and realization dawned
on him. **Shards, shards, _shards_!** Nia didn't do those, but he was
pretty sure she noticed them. He could recall quite clearly the look on
her face, and how she traced a finger along his skin...

"Oh Biri, you flaming _idiot_!" he groaned, covering his face in his
hands. She saw those marks and knew he had been with another woman! He
knew how she could get about that, despite the fact that he told her quite
plainly she had no right to expect he'd restrict himself to just her. And
he hadn't, especially since she was not interested the last few months.
But shards, couldn't he have been at least a _bit_ more discrete!

"Shells, Biri, she deserves better," he muttered, snatching his shirt off
his bed and throwing it back on. He had to talk to her tonight. He had
to apologize. He had to fix this.

~~~

Her weyr was completely dark save for a small glow she kept in the far
corner of the bedroom. The soft light reached beyond Lyndi's cradle to
brush against the side of Nialyn's bed as well. Her head was hardly
visible beneath the mound of soft quilts and her favorite throw, but no
matter what position she was in or how far she was scrunched down the bed,
she always had one ear out to listen unconsciously for Lyndi.

So when there was quiet movement suddenly within her bedroom, she hardly
stirred. The soft sound wasn't a cry for attention or a wail of hunger
from Lyndi...it didn't matter. Nothing mattered but her baby girl. And
so Nialyn slept on, and deeply.

Birigundi could see the glow of the light playing across her blonde hair.
She was sleeping. He shouldn't wake her. He should just leave it for
later. And maybe she wouldn't be so upset and so hurt if he just gave her
a little time. But he knew if he didn't make things right... well,
nothing would be right for him either. He had screwed up. He had to fix
it. "Nia," he whispered softly, kneeling by the head of the bed. "Nia,
it's Birigundi. Please, I just need to talk to you for a minute..."

At the sound of his voice, her blue eyes snapped open, confused,
disoriented. Then she blinked, focusing on the face partially hidden by
shadows hovering not even an arm's length away from her. Slowly her sense
was returning. "Biri?"

"Yeah, it's ok, it's just me," he said quietly, not wanting to wake Lyndi.
"I just wanted to tell you that I'm really sorry about what happened
tonight."

**Tonight?** It took her a moment to finally realize what he was talking
about, to remember the way she'd practically thrown him out of her
weyr...and the reason why she did it. Lowering her eyes, she shifted
beneath the blankets, putting just a bit more distance between them.
"What?"

"I'm sorry, Nia," he murmured, reaching out to find her hand. "I totally
forgot those marks were there. If I had remembered..." Shards, what
could he have done? It's not like he could have hidden them even if he
had remembered... "I'm just so sorry you had to see that."

She didn't know why--she was still too fuzzy-brained to comprehend the
hows and whys--but his words made her angry. "You're sorry that I had to
see that," she repeated quietly, pulling her hand away from his. There
wasn't any point to pretending she didn't know what he meant. It was
unnerving that he knew her so well, and that made her even angrier. "Do
you have any idea how that sounds?"

Not really... Birigundi searched for the right answer, the one he knew she
wanted to hear. "It... sounds very bad."

"Yeah. It does."

He still wasn't sure how, but the girl was always right when she was mad.
"But I don't mean it to sound bad. What I mean is that I'm sorry I hurt
you. I never meant to."

"You always never mean to, Biri." Her tone wasn't as angry anymore. It
was more resigned than anything else. Resigned and unhappy. And as she
glanced up at him, she felt that familiar weariness seep into her.
Shards, how many times had they had this same sharding conversation? It
always ended the same, and with her feeling even worse than before the
argument had come up.

Shards, he hated that sound in her voice. It made him feel like the
lowest tunnel snake in the Weyr. "She didn't mean anything to me. Not
like you do."

Nialyn just shook her head, a sad sort of smile touching her lips briefly.
"I know how this ends. We both do. And that ending isn't going to
change." Looking down again, she pulled her blanket up, tucking it
tightly beneath her chin. "I knew you wouldn't wait for me. I knew it,
but..." **...sometimes a girl hopes. Maybe that's what makes us so
sharding foolish.**

"I just wish it didn't hurt you so much. I mean, that girl last night,
she was just some greenrider at a party. She wasn't special to me, and
I'm sure I wasn't special to her either. You have to understand, Nia, the
other girls just don't matter so much. It's just for fun. But you, you
matter to me. You and Lyndi, the three of us, it's the most important
thing in my life. Nothing else really means anything."

**We're important....just not important enough.** Shards, her eyes were
burning again.

"Nia, please don't be angry with me." Her silence was even worse her
anger. "I'll spend more time with you. I promise. I'll be here more, if
that's what you need." **Just say something...**

"Okay," she whispered. His explanation hadn't helped ease that awful ache
inside of her, but she didn't want to drive him away completely. Despite
everything, she wanted him there with her. She needed him there with her.

Meeting his eyes, Nialyn slowly peeled back the layers of blankets, a
silent invitation for him to join her.

Birigundi let out an audible sigh. Finally, a positive sign. Kicking off
his boots, he slipped between the blankets to lay next to her. "It won't
happen again, Nia. I promise it won't." From now on he decided he would
make sharding sure next time no one leaves any kinds of marks on him. He
should have known better.

Curling her knees up, she rolled over onto her side, facing away from him.
"Goodnight, Biri."

Last updated on the May 27th 2007

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A Positive Sign