A New Beginning

Writers: Kaysea
Date Posted: 23rd May 2007

Characters: Fog, Tahna
Description: Tahna tells Fog why her mother visited the Sungazer
Location: Elsewhere on Pern
Date: month 4, day 12 of Turn 4

"Dar.." she tapped again on the door, and waited for a sound from within. She knew he had seen her, but he wasn't answering, she bit her lip in silent hesitation, and then forged on. Turning the door handle she pushed the door wide, and walked inside.

Fog sat on the lower bunk, both hands balled into fists rested on his knee's. In anyone else it may have been seen as a stance of aggression, but Tahna knew better. Fog held his hands like that so she wouldn't see how much he was actually shaking. In some ways her father was more a child than she herself was, and she realised, she was the only one of the two of them, who realised this.

"Dar.." she spoke again, quieter this time, "We need to talk."

Fog lifted his gaze from the floor and finally met her eyes. She walked between the two bunks and sat opposite him on the other lower bunk. Reaching out, she took one of his hands in hers.

"I know you saw her yesterday. And she knew as well." This was hard; right now, she had to remain calm and not spit her mothers name out. It was too much for her to bear; her aunt Neke had offered to tell Fog, but this, this was something she needed to do. She wanted to forge a stronger tie to this distant man who was her father, and maybe without even realising it, her mother had given her the tools with which to accomplish that.

"She saw me?" he asked quietly. "She saw me, but she didn't want to _see_ me?"

Tahna could hear the pain in Fog's voice. "No Dar, she didn't want to see you, but not for the reason you think." Tahna spoke quietly, hoping the quieter she imparted her news, the less painful it would be.

"So it's not because I'm not the man she handfasted with?" he gave a derisive laugh.

"No Dar, not because of that. Because she is ashamed. She _couldn't_ face you."

"Why not?" his eyes widened in surprise at her words. "Why would your mother feel that she couldn't face me?"

"The same reason she almost didn't come to see me." Tahna shrugged finding it hard to keep the bitterness from her voice, but managed it, just.

"You're going to tell me?" Fog asked, his hand moving, and covering hers. "You don't have to Tahna. I will ask to see your mother, next time we're in Port. It's not fair that you have to relay the news." His voice became a little harder, he became aware that he was beginning to show his daughter the feelings he harboured towards her mother, and took a few calming breaths.

"You won't be able to see her, Dar. She's not going to be there." Tahna gripped her fathers fingers, and held tight. "She's leaving Dar." She kept her emotions reigned in tightly.

"Leaving? When? To where?" he felt sick, not for the fact he was actually losing someone he had lost turns ago; but the fact she had left it to their child to impart the news to him. "Does Neke know? Jesten?" He stood and bumped his head on the upper bunk.

"Dar, Dar! Please, sit down." Oh shards! She knew she should have let Aunt Neke do this. Why had she been so insistent. She was no match for her father.

"Tahna." he gripped her shoulders, and then his hands slid down her arms, and he lifted her from the waist, into his arms. "Your mother, she shouldn't have done this. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." his eyes slowly moistened.

"I'm fine Dar, really. I'm fine, I don't care any more. I have you, and Linli. As long as I have you and Linli.." her own eyes began to fill with tears. "Please Dar, say you'll never leave us."

"Tahna, never." he shook his head. "But... if your mother is going, don't you..wouldn't you prefer to be with her? I mean..I'm not much use..."

"Don't say that Dar... Daddy." she hadn't called him Daddy since before Linli was born, since before the accident that had changed him so much. She threw her arms around his shoulders, feeling comfort and security that she hadn't felt in so long.

"Tahna, tell me... why did she leave you here? You and Linli? Did she tell you?"

She nodded into his shoulder, not wanting to lift her head, not wishing to witness the pain that would appear in his eyes when she told him the truth. "There's someone else. She's to have his child. He doesn't want us, doesn't want her to have a reminder of you."

She could feel his arms tightening around her waist as he squeezed her close. "She's leaving us all, Dar." she whispered into his shoulder.

"If I could have made her stay, I would have, for your sake Tahna, and Linli. For your sake's alone." He spoke quietly, his voice tight with emotion. "I love you Tahna, I love you and I love Linli, and I know I am an embarrass -"

"No Dar! You're not! Not to me." she pushed herself away from him, and looked him square in the eyes. "Not to Linli either." she shook her head, "We...love you. We want to be closer to you, but - we don't know how."

"I didn't think you wanted to know me, after the accident." his voice was roughened with emotion. "You didn't come near me for so long." he shook his head. "And Linli, well she was better off being taken care of by Neke. She kept her distance, the looks I got..."

"Linli wonders why, if you're our father, you don't want anything to do with us. Why Neke looks after us. And the only reason she knows Marilea," she kept the spite she was feeling from her voice at the mention of her mother, "is because she has been told she is our mother. She won't miss her, I don't think."

"Now Tahna, you can't say that. You don't know."

"I can and I do." she nodded. "We'll find out soon enough though. Aunt Neke is going to tell her with me."

Slowly, Fog sat down on the bunk again, pulling Tahna onto his knee. "You have had to shoulder an awful lot for a child."

"Not really." she shook her head. "Aunt Neke and Vaheri have been good to us, to me. We've always had you, too. Even though you didn't think you were needed."

"Well from now on, things will change. I promise. For all of us." for some reason he felt as if a cloud had been lifted from over him. The future that had, only a short time before, bleak and lonely, now had a brighter hue. "Your mother doesn't know what she has given up. And if you think it would help, with Linli... I'd like to be there when you tell her.." he was a little nervous. The curious looks form his younger daughter had always unnerved him, but now, he accepted the looks for what they actually appeared to be, curiosity and may be even, longing.

Last updated on the May 25th 2007

Welcome to Triad Weyrs!

A New Beginning