Tiny Bubbles

Writers: Eimi
Date Posted: 15th June 2006

Characters: U'kaiah
Description: U'kaiah ponders the bubbles in a mug of ale...
Location: Dragonsfall Weyr
Date: month 12, day 13 of Turn 3

U'kaiah sat in the corner of the dinning hall, a rather large mug of ale in his hands. It was still three-quarters full and he had been sitting there a half a candlemark. He had felt rather claustrophobic in his tiny weyr with nothing to do that evening. With no particular destination in mind he decided to go... _somewhere_. He had considered going to the commons room and playing cards with some of the boys, but they would no doubt be talking about Threadfall, drills, and the things he had been missing since being demoted. And they would probably all end up running off to drink copious amounts of alcohol and bed some woman or man soon anyway. There was a time when that was his favorite past time. But now it just seemed like a silly waste of an evening.

Of course, there was always the Record Room with its rows and rows of hides just begging to be explored. And he really should go, he knew. The Master Archivist he had been studying under to get his senior journeyman knots had been wondering where his research was. But he had told him that things with the weyrlings were so busy he really didn't have time. Truth was, Records held no interest for him at the moment, and it was thoroughly frustrating considering they used to be his favorite escape.

In the end, he just wound up right were he was, clutching a mug of ale and watching people come and go. There was that guy Kamira had introduced him to months before. The candidate... what was his name? Biri-something. He was with a greenrider U'kaiah had known well. In fact, his Kalamath had caught her dragon once or twice. She was a nice girl. Fomila. That was her name. She was always fun for a fling. And there they went. Off to her weyr probably. Well, good luck to them both. That Biri guy did seem to have a way with the ladies.

He kind of reminded U'kaiah of himself when he was that age. And younger. When he had first learned what it was that men and women did behind closed doors and down darkened hallways and sometimes right out in the open, he couldn't get enough of it. Any woman, every woman, he just wanted to have fun and enjoy it. Sarian had been one of his first. Shards, but she had taught him the meaning of lusty, hot, just-for-fun the-dirtier-the-better sex. And it had been just that - fun. Flinging from one bed to another without abandon or care. It just... felt good. And then, when the tall, lanky, skinny youth Impressed a bronzedragon and started filling out, started looking more and more a man, it seemed a lot of the females, younger and older, started to notice him. And that had felt good too. That feeling of just being wanted, for whatever reason. When those women would look him up and down and smile and slide up to him with fire in their eyes...
He hardly even had to work at it. Sex was just fun.

But then Syntara had come along. She taught him the joy that could be found just laying in a woman's arms, the satisfaction in the simple act of cuddling and holding a woman close. She had taught him that you could kiss for candlemarks and never get tired of it, whisper in the dark about everything and nothing and all those things you thought you would never say to someone would trickle out of your mouth. She showed him how they could report sick from duty and feel like he had just spent the best day ever without hardly ever leaving her bed. Syntara had taught him that being in love could feel even _better_ than sex, and when sex and being in love blended together to create that new experience of 'making-love', oh shards, he had never known life could be so flaming good. And then when it was gone he didn't know anything could feel so scorching painful. After Syntara it was pretty easy to go back to his old ways of falling into bed with whatever woman was closest and willing. It was easy to convince himself that he didn't need her anymore. So what if she didn't want him. _Plenty_ of women wanted him, and he was going to bed them all just to prove it. But there was one woman that, deep inside he knew, bedding her just was not enough.

Ever since the moment Jaela had set foot in Dragonsfall there had just been something about her. She was more than just a woman, she was a force. He had fallen in love with her as a Weyrwoman long before he had truly noticed her as a man. She had just been untouchable, almost unreachable. Perhaps it was her being of the Blood that Holders seemed to think is so important that gave her that quality of seeming to be something more than woman. The embodiment of all a Weyrwoman was supposed to be.

That changed though in one night in the Record Room when she walked in and the sight of her almost took his breath away - the soft light of the glows, the practically see-through shift, the obvious lack of undergarments that made her seem like a bronzerider's fantasy come to life... And then there was the big leather boots that just finally brought her down to the human level. It was the boots, haphazardly thrown on without out a thought to fashion or sexual allure. That was what had finally made her all woman in his eyes. And shards, what a woman. He decided right then and there that he wanted her, but not to bed her. He wanted to reach her, he wanted to hold her, he wanted to know the woman in those silly boots. But more than that, he wanted her to want him too, but not just for his bronzerider body. U'kaiah wanted her to want _him_, the archivist, the father, the dragonrider, the man.

And yet the turns spent earning his reputation as a ladies man had worked against him. Shards how many times had she thrown it up into his face. How many misunderstandings and fights had it caused between them. And all the wasted time... He could still hear her words of condemnation in his ears, pointing out time and again that U'kaiah would bed any woman in the Weyr but her. How ironic it was, considering there was no woman in the Weyr he had wanted to take into his bed half as much as her, and yet angry words, miscommunication, and stubborn pride kept them apart. But for three-sevendays, finally everything had fallen into place, and he just couldn't get enough of her. And then she was gone. Just gone, and all he had were three-sevendays worth of bliss, and too many months worth of regret. Still now, as he watched couples pair off and gleefully find their way to weyrs and darkened corners, those words haunted him.

The bronzerider turned his eyes back on his cup and stared down into the amber liquid. The froth was gone, and the bubbles were few. It was going flat just sitting there in his hands. U'kaiah could feel himself going flat too. He had started out so promising, so full of life-
frothy and bubbly and just waiting to go somewhere. But now, where was he going? He had lost his wing, lost his lover, lost friends, lost his drive... You never appreciate the bubbles in your ale until they're all gone.

**Who is this man in your clothes?** he silently asked himself. **Where are you, U'kaiah? The _real_ you. The man you were...**

He had to find him before he went completely stale and lifeless. U'kaiah knew he had to find his passion again, his momentum, his drive and his love of life. He had to to find his love of spending candle-marks pouring over old dusty hides and unlocking their secrets, of flying fast with the wind in his face, of leading riders instead of only watching. He had to get out there and make new friends, play cards, and drink himself stupid. Then he had to find a beautiful woman and smile at her, flirt with her, seduce her, and then bed her. And the next night he had to do it again. And again, and again, until their smiles and their touches brought him back to life. Yes, he could do that. He could find a woman. Shards the dinning hall was full of them looking for a man to come and give her a little attention. And he was _still_ that handsome bronzerider they all fantasized about! He could just walk up to a woman, give her a smile, let her look him up and down and watch the fire build in their eyes, take her hand and lead her to his bed, fulfill their every fantasy and throw in a few of his own. He could find himself there. He _had_ to find himself, and when he did...

"Excuse me, but weren't you my wingleader once?"

U'kaiah turned at the sound of the quiet, sultry voice and into a face framed with black hair, with startling blues eyes and a slow, seductive smile. He watched as the eyes traveled down his body, taking in the bulge of his arms, his large hands, his long legs, and then travel back up to his dark eyes, black curling hair and handsome features. The smile widened and the icy blue eyes began to burn.

"I suppose I was," he answered with a forced half smile. "Have you missed me, Xemala?"

"Oh yes, indeed I have. J'nus just doesn't... _inspire_ me like you can," she replied, resting her hand on his knee.

"You have to give the man a chance," the bronzerider answered, his eyes traveling down to the hand on his knee. "How well do you really know him?"

"Not half as well as I want to know you," she murmured, her hand slipping a little higher. "You know, I never told you before, you being my wingleader and all, and I suppose its just the wine that is making me bold enough to admit it, but you've been in more than one of my fantasies."

"Have I now?" Her fingers brushed along his thigh even higher.

"Oh yes. I was wondering, since you seem to have time now, if maybe I could invite you back to my weyr and we can... discuss them?" Her eyes smoldered as her hand reached its intended destination.

U'kaiah took a deep breath. **You have to find yourself again...**

"I would love to Xemala," he said. Lifting the mug of ale to his lips he gulped down the remainder, feeling it slide smoothly down his throat.
Setting the cup down he curled his fingers around her hand and lifted it off him and looked up at her with an apologetic smile. "But I have to go check on the weyrlings. Another time, perhaps."

He pushed himself back from the table and left the frustrated greenrider to go find another trophy bronzerider to spend her evening with. U'kaiah knew he had to find himself again... but not tonight.

Last updated on the June 15th 2006

Welcome to Triad Weyrs!

Tiny Bubbles