Not Unwelcome

Writers: Dana, Eimi
Date Posted: 5th June 2006

Characters: Kiomo, Gleniel
Description: Kiomo explains to Gleniel why he had not seen her for a while...
Location: Garnet Valley Hold
Date: month 12, day 2 of Turn 3

Kiomo hesitated ever so slightly as he walked through the door into the kitchen. He was alone, save for Gleniel. With a small embarrassed smile he stepped in. The holder knew exactly where to find the cups and the klah. Walking over to the cupboard he found he favorite mug. "Good evening, Gleniel," he said politely.

Blushing, she glanced at him. "Good evening, Kiomo. How are you?"

"Sleepy, but I have a report to finish for Ishek." He gave her a sheepish smile. It was pretty obvious that they had been avoiding each other ever since that one night in the Harper Classroom. He wondered if she was angry at him about that, though he wasn't quite sure if 'that' was the fact that he had gotten a little out of hand, or that he hadn't been around much since. "How have you been?"

She averted her gaze, trying to appear nonchalant about it all. But inside, her feelings were so conflicted... Shards... Had he thought her too wanton? Is that why he hadn't seen her since that day? Did he look down at her now? Did she repulse him? Did he find her amusing?
Is _that_ why he had been so scarce? Because she was just a silly girl? "Fine, I guess..." She forced a smile. "It's been busy."

"Yeah, for me too." He looked at her standing next to the stove, her red hair, he noticed, was down. Just the way he had liked it. That brought a touch of a genuine smile to his lips. He walked towards her, reaching for the hot pot of klah next to her. "I... I missed you this last sevenday you know."

Gleniel pressed her hands tightly against the edge of the counter, trying to school her _expression to one that didn't look so sharding surprised. "You did?" She didn't look at him. How could she believe that? He could have at least sent her note.... Couldn't he?

"Yes, I did," he nodded, lowing his eyes to the brown frothy liquid filling his mug. "I think I should apologize to you... for what happened that night."

His words struck her wrong...making her feel worse. It conflicted with him saying that he'd missed her.... Confused, she kept her eyes fixed downward. "Why?"

"I'm afraid I acted shamefully towards you," replied softy, his eyes still not meeting hers. "I got carried away, and I'm afraid pushed things too far. Pushed _you_ too far."

She hadn't been expecting that. "Is that..." Her voice trailed off.

"Is that what?" he asked, his eyes finally riding to meet hers.

"Is that why you went without a word for little over a sevenday?" Her voice was soft, and as he looked up, she looked down, flushing. Why had she said that?

"Shards, Gleniel, I never wanted to hurt you." He reached up to touch her face. "I... You see it... It just felt so good to hold you like that. To kiss you like that. I have wanted to do that, and more, for so long. But its... its not fair to you. To take advantage of your innocence that way is inexcusable. And if we spent time alone again I think... I think I couldn't help myself. I _know_ it would happen again."

**To do...more?** "But, Kiomo...." Her green eyes sparked with an inner fire as she raised them to his. "How is it taking advantage of me if....if I enjoyed what we did too?"

"If you..." His eyes met hers questioningly, but he shook his head and looked at the counter as he set his mug aside. "No, Gleniel, you don't know what you're saying. It's... it's only natural to enjoy the feeling but... but you don't know what can _happen_ between a man and woman. It's so much more. So much _deeper_. It's a fire that gets inside you, and if you're not careful, Gleniel, you can get burned." He raised his eyes to meet hers once more, and his hand gripped her shoulders lightly.
"I want to show you those things so badly, but... but I don't want you to get hurt." Kiomo pulled her close, wrapping his arms around her. His voice was almost a pained whisper. "You should forget what happened, Gleniel. You should forget... forget me..."

"How can you _say_ that?" she whispered harshly, pulling back to glare up at him, all earlier embarrassment forgotten. Now her cheeks flushed with the dull red of anger--and hurt. Did he think it would be so easy for her? To sharding forget?

"To protect you, Gleniel. I lived in a Weyr for a short time. I know... I have experienced more than I am proud to say. But things are different here. I don't want to see you hurt. I don't want you to have regrets."

She stiffened in his arms, wishing she had enough will to wrench out of them. Faranth, his words insulted her, hurt her. "Then why come back to me at all? Why make this any more difficult than it already _is_, Kiomo?"

He dropped his hands with a long, drawn out sigh, turning to lean back against the cupboard. Crossing his arms in front of himself protectively, his eyes fixed on the floor ahead of him he muttered softly, "Shards, Gleniel. I didn't _intend_ to come back to you." He closed his eyes, as if saying those words aloud, the shame they conveyed, hurt him deeply. "I thought it was better for you if I stayed away. And I have tried Gleniel. Truly, I have tried. But...
you're just always there. Right there in my thoughts. Right here," he laid his own hand over his heart. "And it hurts to not be with you, Gleniel. It hurts like someone is boring a hole in me."

"Then why..." She cleared her throat, looking down again. "Then why can't we...be together?"

"Because I can make you no promises yet," he said, a sad tone filling his voice. "Until I have my own Hold, I must live by the confines of my station. But when I _do_ finally have a Hold, Gleniel, a Hold that is mine alone, then... Then maybe things will be different. Shards, Gleniel," Kiomo whispered, unfolding his arms, reaching for her hand, "I just wish I could have been born a common man."

She could feel her anger beginning to ebb away, and her _expression began to soften as his fingers curved around hers. "I'm sorry I was...I got upset just now. I didn't take everything into consideration, and..." Looking up at him, she squeezed his hand lightly--the slightest pressure.

His thumb lightly caressed the back of hers. Kiomo raised his eyes to meet hers. They were full of sadness, regret, lost hope. "And?"

"And...and even now... Your affections wouldn't be unwelcome, Kiomo."
She blushed.

A relieved groan escaped him as he pulled her closer. "Shards, Gleniel..." He brought her hand to his lips and kissed it softly. He caressed his cheek along the backs of her fingers before kissing them one by one. "You don't know how happy I am to know that. So very happy."

Last updated on the June 6th 2006

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Not Unwelcome