Good Cider

Writers: AmajoS, Estelle
Date Posted: 26th April 2019

Characters: Benna, L'keri
Description: Benna invites L'keri for lunch and things do not go as planned.
Location: Dragonsfall Weyr
Date: month 10, day 23 of Turn 9
Notes: Later in the day from "DFW: Take It Slow"

L'keri

Benna set the small table in her weyr's kitchenette and glanced over
the food. It wasn't really all that fancy; a nice garden salad, some
thinly sliced roasted fowl, flatbread, cheese, fruit. The nice cider
she'd gotten when she was at the Vintner Hall a little while ago and
saved for a special occasion. It wasn't exactly a special occasion
though, was it?

She sighed, wondering again where things had gone wrong. If she had done something wrong. She knew when, of course. It was after the Fall where two dragonriders and their dragons had been lost. She hadn't realized it at the time though. She'd thought things were going alright after that. If L'keri was a bit distracted, well, she knew he cared about his wingmates like family.

But, it was more than that, she saw now. It wasn't just that he was
grieving, he was avoiding her. In particular. She saw him with other
people and he still seemed sad, but didn't have the same distracted,
'wish I were somewhere else' look about him. He still showed up for
their runs the last few mornings since the disaster, but he didn't
chat with her anymore, and getting him to agree to come to this lunch
had been like pulling teeth. What had she done wrong? She thought
she'd been supportive that first morning after. She thought she had
been this whole time. But, maybe not?

She didn't want to push. To be pushy. She had been so silly in the
first couple of turns after Henerath starting mating. Reading more
into the casual relationships riders often enjoyed and turning them
sour. Had she done that to her and L'keri too? She was pretty sure she
loved him and thought he might have felt the same, but what if he
hadn't? Was that why he acted this way? Was she annoying him?

She heard a knock at the door and called out, "Come in!" in as
cheerful a voice as she could muster.

"It's me." L'keri pushed open the door and made his customary greeting
to Henerath before going on into the little kitchen where the meal would
be served.

He both had and hadn't wanted to come over to Benna's weyr for lunch.
The thought of seeing her brought the same lift to his heart and spirits
that it always had, but also trepidation. He had to walk such a fine
line. The events of the past few days had reminded him that there was a
reason why dragonriders often chose easy, casual relationships. Thread
could take anyone, any day, and he'd survived more Falls than he had any
right to expect. It would be selfish of him to want more, when the risks
were so great.

He told himself that he could still enjoy lunch with a friend, and
summoned a smile, leaning on the doorpost. "This looks good. Can I help
with anything?"

"Can you get the cups? You know where they are," she replied.

She watched him get them and wondered what he was thinking. He didn't
seem to be sorry he'd come, but he didn't seem like his usual
extravagant self either. Maybe she was reading too much into things.
She needed to calm down and enjoy the fact that he was here. "I'm glad
you came."

"Oh, well, I wouldn't miss the chance of being fed," he said, with a
trace of his old humour. "Even if it does look a lot healthier than my
usual fare." Despite everything, he had stuck to the diet, since he only
had to recall the threat of being handed over to the Weyrlingmaster to
lose his appetite.

She offered him a more real smile, maybe things really would be ok,
"It is healthy, but I have something here that might make that
bearable for you." She gestured to the bottle of cider. "Not much in
the way of alcohol, but it's very tasty. I got it the last time I was
down near the Vintner Hall for a transport."

It had cost her a couple of marks because there had only been a few
bottles like it left, the Vintner had said, but considering she didn't
have much in the way of expenses for living, splurging on fancy cider
wasn't a hardship. Kind of fun, even. Like something a Lady of a major
Hold might do instead of a girl from a farming cothold.

"I've missed the taste of a good cider," L'keri said, a note of longing
in his voice. Up until that last Fall he'd not been bothered over much
by the restrictions on his drinking habits. For a while it had seemed
like his life was beginning afresh. But then, in the aftermath, drinking
with his wingmates, he'd started to wonder what the point of it all was.
He was the same person he'd always been, there was no changing that.
Might as well enjoy it as best he could. "Shall I pour it out?"

Benna frowned at the tone, her forehead wrinkled in concern for a
moment but then she pushed it away. She wanted their lunch to be
pleasant. Needed it to be, even. They always had so much fun together,
until lately, and she wanted desperately to recapture that. "Sure,"
she forced a smile and held her cup out.

L'keri poured out the drink for them both and helped himself to a
healthy share of the food. His stomach didn't ache quite as badly as it
once had - perhaps A'chas had been right about getting used to the diet
- but he still seemed to be permanently hungry. He raised his glass to
her, politely, and sipped, raising a brow in appreciation. "Mm. This is
good. From the Vintner Hall, you say?"

"Yes," she replied quickly, pleased for the easy conversation topic.
"I had a transport passenger to Amber Hills, and not another one for a
candlemark. So, I decided to wander over to the Vintner Hall and see
what was for sale. I've been saving it."

L'keri thought back, wondering when he'd last been at the Vintner Hall.
He'd not been assigned to transport there for a while; it would be good
to pay a visit and stock up for when he finally got off the diet. He
hesitated, wondering whether he should ask Benna to come too. But
perhaps it wasn't such a good idea.

"You should have kept this for a special occasion, then," he said with
an awkward smile. "Not wasted it on me."

He was doing it again. Part of her wanted to grab his shoulders and
shake him and demand he spit out whatever it was that he was thinking
about her that was making him act this way. She'd rather know than
wonder and worry about it constantly. But another part replied her
friend's advice to not put pressure on him and let him come along at
his own pace. She -really- didn't want to scare him off because she
wasn't patient enough to let him work through whatever it was.

"Well, since I bought it, I get to decide how to use it," Her tone was
sharper than she'd meant so she smiled quickly and added, "besides,
who says this ins't a special occasion?"

Why had she said that? It wasn't a special occasion. She'd just been
thinking before he arrived that it wasn't.

"It's not that special. Just some brownrider coming over for lunch."
L'keri returned her smile briefly and sipped at his cider. "I mean, you
must have other riders over here, from time to time?"

She ruthlessly quashed the part of herself that was a hold-over from
her childhood upbringing, which wanted to be hurt and offended by the
question. It was not unreasonable in the Weyr, she reminded herself.
It had been a while since she'd had to remind herself of that, but
then, it had been a while since she felt as much for a particular
person as she felt for L'keri. "Not lately," she replied with a small
shrug.

This was not going the way she'd hoped it would, but she didn't know
how to salvage the situation without making it worse, so she said
nothing and just took a sip from her own cup. It really was tasty
cider. If she happened by the Vintner Hall again, she'd have to thank
that journeyman.

"Oh." He wondered what he'd said wrong. He wasn't even sure how he felt
about it. Despite everything, the thought that she hadn't had other
riders - other men - in her weyr sent a thrill of pleasure through him.
He wouldn't have minded, he told himself, he had no right to, and yet to
think that he was special to her... But it was also dangerous.

"In that case," he said eventually, raising his glass, "I'm honoured to
be the one you chose to share this with."

She forced a smile and raised her cup as well, but she felt no real
joy in the action or in his words. They rang hollow, somehow. Like he
didn't mean them, or didn't want to mean them, maybe. She didn't
understand why, but obviously the idea of a single pleasant lunch
fixing whatever the issue was between them had been a foolish one.

Last updated on the May 6th 2019

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Good Cider