Stretched Too Thin (5): We Will Come Back Whole

Writers: Eimi, Dana
Date Posted: 3rd September 2005

Characters: Traelyn, U'kaiah
Description: Trae confronts U'kaiah after the Pre-Fall meeting and is faced with a difficult decision
Location: Dragonsfall Weyr
Date: month 7, day 17 of Turn 3

U'kaiah felt so jittery he could barely hold still. He could have used more sleep - a _lot_ more sleep. As he sat listening to the pre-fall meeting he bounced his feet up and down by no concious effort of his own. A shiver would run through him periodically as he listened. He once reached out for his cup of klah but his hand shook so much he knew he would never get it to his mouth without spilling. Looking around self-conciously he hoped that no one had noticed it. He was exhausted in body, mind, and spirit, but he kept telling himself that this was the last Fall and then he could sleep. Then he could rest. **Just one more Fall. Keep focused for one more Fall.**

He knew that flying Thread that day could be dangerous if he let his concentration slip even in the slightest. The bronzerider willed his mind into controlled clarity as he listened to the rest of the meeting.
**Just a few more hours now and we can rest...**

The meeting had taken place much earlier than usual this time, so much earlier in fact, that all the riders had about half a candlemark's time to get ready and get any sort of nerves under control. And Traelyn was glad. She'd seen the way U'kaiah had acted. She'd seen the glazed look in his eyes. And she was glad she could have this time to pull him aside and really look into his eyes...to see if he was all right.

"U'kaiah." Her voice was very soft as she laid a hand over one of his. And it was shaking. Gently, but firmly, she pulled him to the side so the rest of the riders could pass through the door. Once they were alone, she looked up into his face, searching his eyes.

"You just can't take your eyes off of my at those meetings, can you." He gave her what he hoped was a teasing smile. "I can fly, Trae. Don't worry about me. Kalamath and I will be fine."

"You're a bad liar," she told him quietly, her eyes still searching his. They looked like black pits that seemed to be burned into his face, which was paler than Traelyn deemed normal. One of her hands reached up to cup his cheek, her fingers cool and still against his skin.

"I've lost my second, Trae. I can't leave my wing leaderless." He covered her hand with his. Her hand felt so nice, so comfortable against his skin, he could not trust himself to not fall victim to the felling. "It's just one more Fall. You know I wouldn't do this if I thought there was any risk to Kalamath or myself."

She shook her head. "You're not well, U'kaiah. _You_ might be in denial about how you really are today, but _I'm_ not." She paused, turning her hand around to grasp his - which was still trembling, if only slightly. "You're shaking."

He shrugged. "It comes and goes." Giving her hand a squeeze he said, "I demy... I mean deny nothin. I... I know I'm tired, but a cup or few of klah, then I think... I know I will be..."

Again, she looked into his eyes. Something about him wasn't _right_. And with him slurring his words and mumbling and trembling the way he was, she _knew_ that he wasn't fit to fly. Anyone who looked at him could see it. _Should_ see it.

**But there is no one else.**

**But he can't _risk_ himself!**

Her conflicting thoughts argued with themselves, and she felt her jaw beginning to clench. "Klah's not going to help. And you _know_ that."

"Trust me, Trae. All I need is a little klah to wake me up a bit." He looked imploringly into her eyes. "Please, Trae. Trust me."

**I could ground you,** she thought. **I could.** But would she? A Wing could not fly without it's leader... And there was no one else... But she couldn't shake that nagging doubt; that trickle of fear - the first she had ever felt for him.

Trae looked away from him, her jaw tightening even more as she fought with herself.

U'kaiah could see her inner conflict. She was in a tough position. He hated that she had to be in that position.

}: We will be fine. It's just one more fall, and then we can rest.:{ U'kaiah heard his bronze say, presumably to Nyith. }: Trust me. I will not let anything happen to U'kaiah. I slept well. I will take care of us both. :{ The bronzerider was grateful for his lifemate's unwaivering confidence. "Trust me, Trae. We will get through the Fall just fine. You'll see." He reached out to her and pulled her close. As her head came to rest against him he gently caressed her cheek. "Don't worry so. You have your own wing to lead."

"I always worry about you," came her soft response, but now a hint of her usual humor was back in her voice, and a whisper of a grin pulled at her lips - but it only lasted for a moment. Traelyn rubbed her cheek against him gently before looking up to meet his eyes. The hesitation in her eyes was brief as she shoved her doubts and that trickle of fear back. "Be careful."

He took her face in his hands. A brief apologetic smile flittered across his face. This was not an easy decision for her, but the fact that her confidence in him won out over her doubts gave him the encouragement he needed from her. He would be fine. Kalamath would be fine. U'kaiah kissed her forehead gently and whispered, "I will not let you down. We will come back whole. I promise you that."

Last updated on the October 1st 2005

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Stretched Too Thin (5): We Will Come Back Whole