No Kin of Mine

Writers: Leigh M-F.
Date Posted: 5th February 2016

Characters: A'kua
Description: He could have lived without working some of this out.
Location: Dragonsfall Weyr
Date: month 4, day 18 of Turn 8
Notes: Mentioned: R'gelen, ONPC Eionen, Ilyssia.

He was sure he had it. The song that had stymied him had finally taken shape, but it had also evolved thanks to his talk with R'gelen. He hadn't wanted it to, but it did anyway. A'kua finally let it happen. Now it was time to try it out.

He filched a cushion to sit on and a waterskin, grabbed his gitar, and told Zeiranth where he was going. The spot was just close enough to an exit into the Weyrbowl that he could feel a hint of the chill from the outside in colder weather, but not so much that his fingers would go numb. In the evening free time, most people didn't venture out this far, so until he could move in with Ilyssia, this was the most privacy he would get. He really needed it this time.

A'kua tuned the gitar, ran through some warmups, and braced himself for the hardest part: Allowing himself to imagine Eionen was there, standing behind him, watching him. He closed his eyes and started strumming, the almost grinding beat that sounded angry, and slowly inhaled to sing sadly and with fury. "Well, the key to my survival was never in much doubt;
The question was how I could keep sane, trying to find a way out.
Things were never easy for me; peace of mind was hard to find
And I needed a place where I could hide, somewhere I could call mine.

I didn't think much about it 'til it started happening all the time.
Soon I was living with the fear every day of what might happen that night.
I couldn't stand to hear the crying of my mother, and I remember when
I swore that, that would be the last they'd see of me, and I never went back again.

They say time is a healer, and now my wounds are not the same.
I walked in with my heart in my mouth; I had to hear what he'd say
He sat me down to talk to me,
I looked him straight in the eye,
I said, 'You're no kin, you're no kin of mine,
You're no kin, you're no kin of mine;
You walked out, you left us behind,
You're no kin, you're no kin of mine!'"

His breath caught, and he had to force himself to lower his pitch, to sound older and almost as sad. The imaginary Eionen behind him took over the lines, full of guilt: "Oh, his words, how they hurt me: I'll never forget it.
And as the time, it went by, I lived to regret it.
'You're no kin, you're no kin of mine!'
But where should I go, and what should I do?
'You're no kin, you're no kin of mine!'
But I came here to help, I came here for you."

A'kua tried to ignore how his throat was tightening and kept on, resuming his own role. "Well, the Turns, they passed so slowly. I thought about him every day.
What would I do if we passed on the path? Would I keep running away?
In and out of hiding places, soon I'd have to face the facts.
We'd have to sit down and talk it over, and that would mean going back.

They say time is a healer, and now my wounds are not the same.
I walked in the room with my heart in my mouth; I had to hear what he'd say.
He sat me down to talk to me,
I looked him straight in the eyes,
And said 'You're no kin, you're no kin of mine,
You're no kin, you're no kin of mine.
When you walked out, you left us behind,
You're no kin, you're no kin of mine!'"

Eionen's role came back too easily to end the song. A'kua pretended he was moving closer, reaching out a hand. "Oh, his words how they hurt me: I'll never forget it.
And as the time, it went by, I lived to regret it.
'You're no kin, you're no kin of mine!'
But where should I go, and what should I do?
'You're no kin, you're no kin of mine!'
But I came here to help, I was looking for you-"

The mental image of the other redhead lowering his hand to the weyrling's shoulder was so intense, A'kua stopped playing and looked behind him with a snarl. But of course no one was there. Still, the vividness rattled him. A'kua put down his gitar with shaking hands, rested his elbows on his knees, and pressed his face into his palms, letting out a long, trembling breath.

He had to admit it to himself, and truly accept it this time: Eionen really had been sorry, even if he was eighteen Turns too late. He hadn't lied once in their entire ill-fated meeting. A'kua had been able to read him like a children's primer. He'd know the truth when it was right in front of him, but his hatred and the staggering news had made him unwilling to deal with it. Fardles, he _still_ hated his sire, and would continue to do so for the foreseeable future.

But for the first time since he cast Eionen out, A'kua wondered if he had made a mistake.

Last updated on the February 9th 2016

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No Kin of Mine