Old Farmholder Wisdom Pt 2

Writers: Avery, Chelle
Date Posted: 5th October 2015

Characters: Kapera, Rhosyn
Description: The two goldriders talk about their struggles.
Location: Elsewhere on Pern
Date: month 2, day 13 of Turn 8
Notes: Pt 2 of 2; Mentioned: Lenala, Tsaera, Cyradis, K'sedel, J'nus, Meledei, Lanniya, Teseada, Nisheyl

Kapera

Kapera nodded. "That does make sense. And what you describe sounds
like a wonderful arrangement to have with someone. If I _did_ want
anything more, it'd be with J'nus, but... if it's something we can't
manage, I'm afraid of hurting."

"It can be wonderful as long as both of you want _that_. If you don't, then
it's better to agree on something else or give off. I mean as goldriders we
have enough to deal with besides personal crises." Rhosyn didn't like
upsetting Orlaith and if it was something that bothered her enough, it bled
through the bond to her queen. And then the Weyr usually picked up on
it soon after. "Go through your alternatives and weigh them. You have to
decide if it's worth it."

"You're right. I have to be careful. I don't want to just be selfish
and shallow." She'd had enough of a reputation for it.

"Maybe you're finally starting to get that wisdom stuff. I think I
finally started to reason things out a few turns ago too." Finishing
off her plate, Rhosyn leaned back in the chair.

"Then again, I can still play dumb when I want to. When people have
low expectations, it's easier to surprise them." Following that up
with a grand gesture of her hands, Rhosyn laughed a few times before
looking up for a refill.

"Ain't that one the truth? I'm not the screw-up I was at Dragonsfall.
After the gutter I fell in afterwards, anything I do that _isn't_ failing
has got to please people," Kapera muttered. Rhosyn gave the impression
she knew about the weight of expectations and possibly even the sting of
failing. It felt safe to admit it to her.

"Sometimes I wonder if Lenala plays dumb because she's really clueless
or if she just does it on purpose so people leave her alone. Of course, I am
not about to do my stuff and hers so I won't ever leave her alone. She's
smart enough to figure that out so she's getting better." Growing a little
more serious, Rhosyn shifted gears to hark back on what Kapera had
just admitted.

"I didn't really get to talk to you..." She had been going through her
own stuff at the time with her Weyrwoman after all. "But I don't think
it was really that bad from what I heard. I mean..what really happened?" Often the
story from the source was far different from what was heard.

Kapera hadn't talked about it to a lot of people. The mindhealer at
Windswept Islands. J'nus had heard some of it. Mostly, she kept her
shame and fear to herself. But she didn't think Rhosyn was asking to
make her relive it to hurt her. And if another goldrider - who'd become
a Weyrwoman in her own right - wouldn't understand, who could?

"Dragonsfall itself was in a bad state when I transferred, with Jaela
dead. I was supposed to be the Second. I was only 25, I was supposed to
be seasoning under an experienced woman, learning how to handle tasks
beyond just what a junior goldrider did. And then suddenly it was
Riyanth first, and I got a job I wasn't ready for."

"It was fine when I could rely on the Weyrleader who knew his job, but
after her second Flight we got someone who was also unready. Neither of
us knew what we were doing and it was a disaster. The cold weather and
the stress must have gotten to me. I caught a sickness, and then it
didn't go away and my lungs were strained. I couldn't even get out of
bed. The Healers sent me to a warmer climate because they thought I
would die otherwise," she explained.

"I wasn't thrown out. But what good is someone too sick for their duties?"
Maybe she sounded like she was defensive about it, but she knew there
were rumors she'd been sent away because she was incompetent in the
head. She wasn't Traelyn, though. She'd gotten sick in the body. That
was different.

The choice to send her away had been medical, concern about her - and
more importantly- the life of her gold. But there had been politics in
place behind it. Dragonsfall didn't need a second Weyrwoman to die in
place; better to have theirs transfer out and receive someone competent
and suited for the climate.

Quietly listening, Rhosyn digested the information while the gears turned
inside her head. She had seen Traelyn leave, Janani leave, and Hygalia
leave. Those had been different, though. She could feel Kapera's frustration at
being setup to fail and unable to cope and then at the illness and being packed
off-though for a good reason.

"It was never home to you. And then before you could figure it out you
got sick. Zharesti left because she got sick. It happens. Better that
you and your queen left and lived and now are thriving. Sometimes
things happen for a reason. Like maybe Zharesti got sick so I could
come. Or maybe you got sick so you could go away and learn and get
better." Shrugging her shoulders, she shared some of the old
farmholder wisdom her father had spouted in days long, long before.

"No, it wasn't home. It would have hurt more if I loved it. I'm not sure Dolphin
Cove is home yet either, but I like it there more. And I'd like to
hope there was a reason." That would make it a lot better. "Does River
Bluff feel like home to you now?"

"Actually, yes. I feel like the River Bluff it is now definitely has
my influence. It's my Weyr now, not Tsaera's or anyone else's. Of
course I was never allowed my freedom at Vista Point so just the fact
that I can do whatever I wish helped me like it." She had made friends
there and had gotten used to things. Whether they liked it or not, Rhosyn
had dug in. "And my daughter will grow there."

"I'm happy for you. It sounds like a good sensation."

"It is...just lonely sometimes in its own way. Most of my friends are
at Dolphin Cove." Of course with a dragon that wasn't far but
sometimes it did feel like it.

"And now you have one more?" the dark-haired goldrider said with a
hopeful little raise. "You're always welcome to visit, and I'm sure
your friends would visit you at River Bluff, too."

Last updated on the October 25th 2015

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Old Farmholder Wisdom Pt 2