Thoughts in the Dark

Writers: Yvonne
Date Posted: 20th January 2021

Characters: R'hil
Description: Rushil adjusts to his new home at the Weyr
Location: Dragonsfall Weyr
Date: month 7, day 16 of Turn 10

He should be sleeping. Instead Rushil was staring at the darkened ceiling of the Candidate's barracks, listening to the rustle of blankets and soft snores of the people sleeping around him.

There were so many _people_.

He rolled over and tightly shut his eyes in the hopes that he could will himself to sleep but his mind kept jumping from thought to thought like a little insect in the fields. His Mam, his brothers, the way the wind soughed through the redfruit trees at home, flashing dragon wings and driving snow. What if he Impressed and bonded to a dragon of his own? He could fly high and far, but he'd have to char Thread. And he'd never be able to leave the Weyr and go home.

His Mam wanted him to Impress. "A bronze," she'd whispered as she pushed him toward the Search dragon on the road. Rushil could picture his mother's proud grin and his brother's worried eyes as he'd been strapped onto the blue dragon, and then they were gone, erased by a vast black /between/ that nearly stopped his heart. "Do it for us," she'd said. "Make sure you Impress."

He knew why, of course. If he Impresed, people might listen to him-- people like the Lord Holder of Amber Hills Hold. **I wonder if he'll be at the Hatching?** Rushil wondered. **I wonder if Mam will make me talk to him?**

He wouldn't know what to say to convince the Lord Holder to give his brother his inheritance, whatever that was. His Mam was vague about it. Once his brother inherited, though, their whole family could live in comfort. No more waking at the crack of dawn to chip ice from the frozen stream, no more chopping wood, picking redfruit, fermenting, pickling, drying, salting, carding wool and butchering the porcine in the fall. No more hungry winters and exhausting summers. How was he supposed to explain all that to the Lord Holder if his silver-tongued Mam hadn't been able to?

Maybe they could all move to the Weyr, with him. But even as he thought it, he knew his Mam would never agree. There were too many Harpers and knots and liars, and they'd be all tangled up in the rules like he was, tangled up until he couldn't move or breathe. Sitting still in useless classes, endless chores for strangers, can't do what you want. She'd hate it here.

And there were so many _people_.

Keeping track of names was hard. They all expected him to just _know_ who they were, gesturing at their shoulder knots like he was an idiot for not knowing what they all meant. And there were so many _girls_. Back at home there were a few girls who lived at the mining hold near their little cot, but they were nothing like the girls _here_. Here half the girls wore pants instead of skirts, and low-cut shirts that revealed slivers of intreaguing skin. Some had short hair that revealed the soft curve of their neck, some had hair that fell in cascades across their shoulders and backs. And the _bathing pools_!

**No,** he told himself, shutting his eyes a little tighter. If he started thinking about the bathing pools there was going to be an uncomfortable consquence. Except all he could think about now was the bathing pools.

He sighed. Sleep was _not_ happening now. He tried to think of home, of his Mam and Auntie, his brothers... a wave of homesickness overtook him. It was so complicated at the Weyr.

But at least there were girls.

Last updated on the February 19th 2021

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Thoughts in the Dark