With the Dawn
Dragonsfall Weyr
Amber Hills Hold
Vintner Hall
Hidden Meadows
Dolphin Cove Weyr
Dolphin Hall
Emerald Falls Hold
Harper Hall
Green Valley Hold
Leeward Lagoon Hold
Barrier Lake Weyrhold
Sunstone Seahold
Citrus Bay Hold
Elsewhere on Pern
NPC Weyr (NPC)
River Bluff Weyr
Seacraft Hall
Writers: Miriah, Yvonne
Date Posted: 23rd September 2019
Characters: Humari, Taril
Description: Taril and Humari have a long-overdue conversation
Location: Sunstone Seahold
Date: month 11, day 4 of Turn 9
Notes: Mentioned: Yriadha
Notes: Very late due to me.
Dawn crept red over the edge of the sky to illuminate the walls of Sunstone Seahold. Taril watched the light brighten through the tiny slit window set high in the wall of his and Humari's apartment. He hadn't slept much. Between the anger he felt that someone had dared touch his wife and the heartsickness caused by the coming conversation, he hadn't been able to.
He was going to lose her. He didn't deserve her anyway.
It didn't matter that she was as broken as he was on the inside. She was perverted, he was deformed. But she had a good heart and loved him despite of everything. And he was the beast who let her down. Taril tightened his arms around his sleeping wife, trying to imprint this last night together in his memory. The way she breathed, the press of her small body against his. The fall of her hair and the scent of her.
She whimpered in her sleep, but as Taril's arms tightened around her, the distressed sounds faded and she burrowed closer to him. Humari nuzzled at his shoulder, even the scent of him bringing comfort. Her eyes fluttered open as the light hit them, and for a moment, she was relaxed and pliant in his arms. Then the memory came and she began to tremble. Seeking comfort and safety, she pressed as close as she could to Taril, arms tight around him. It hadn't been just a horrible dream. Someone had tried to kill her and she didn't know why.
"Are you awake?" Taril asked softly.
There was a slow nod followed by a soft sniffle. "Yes."
"How are you feeling?" He winced. It was a stupid question.
Humari didn't know how to immediately answer the question. She was scared, but in his arms, she felt far more safe. She buried her face in his shoulder and clung a little tighter to him. "Scared. Confused. I don't know what's happening. Or why it keeps happening to me."
"It's... probably because of me," he said quietly.
She went still, then shook her head. "No. You can't be with me all the time. I know that. It's not your fault, Taril. I just don't know why anyone would want to hurt me like that. I haven't done anything to anyone."
"But I have."
She went still then, slowly pulling her head away. "What do you mean?"
Taril sighed. He'd spent the last few candlemarks rehearsing what he wanted to say and now that it was time, his carefully constructed speech had evaporated like smoke on the wind. "My business... the books you see aren't the whole story, Humari. I smuggle. People, things... it doesn't matter. And the tavern... it's not just a place to go drinking. I organize card games, and fights on the docks too. And if people don't have the marks... I'll lend them. If they're desperate enough. It means that there's a lot of people who owe me. Not many people want to pay their dues. I have... enemies."
Wide, dark eyes stared at him, shock at his admission turning to dismay and hurt. Her voice was small as her hands slowly pulled away from him. "You've been lying to me? All this time?" She had known about the fights and the gambling, but not the extent. She'd simply assumed it was a side interest from his business as a merchant. How had she missed the signs that there was more? The comments made so long ago when she'd been taken by Bortem when she was carrying Tumaril... he'd said that Taril was more than a merchant. She'd passed off the comments later as just talk. "I'm not safe with you." Her eyes suddenly widened and she jerked up painfully to a sit. "Tumaril. Where is he?"
"With my family at Red Tide Rocks. He's loved, and anyone who wanted to touch him would have to go through all of Red Tide to get to him." Taril sat up as well and clasped his hands over his knee. She was right. She wasn't safe with him. The betrayal in her eyes was more painful to him than anything. "After you were hurt, in the market... someone broke into my office. They stole... another set of books. Whoever they are, they're trying to get rid of me."
She bowed her head, bringing up shaking hands to cover her face. There was a hiccup, then soft sobs. "You lied to me. I trusted you and you lied to me. Why does everyone lie to me? Was I a payment for a debt too? Did my mother owe you marks and pay you with me?" Her shoulders hunched as though expecting another blow. "They tried to kill me because of you..." She hugged herself and rocked slowly back and forth, turning her face away, so many thoughts rushing through her mind that she couldn't grasp all of them.
"I don't know why your mother arranged a match between us. She owed me nothing." Taril started to reach for her, but pulled his hand back when he saw the scars on the back of it. A reminder of the monster he was, inside and out. "I thought... I thought not knowing would keep you safe. I thought people were too scared of me to touch you. And maybe I... wanted you to like me, and think well of me. I thought the Infirmary could protect you if I couldn't. But I was wrong about all of it. What happened last night is my fault, and I'm sorry. I know that whatever I say won't change what happened, or make it better. I was arrogant, and you were punished for it."
"I told you everything. Every horrible thing I was. From the first. I never lied to you." She struggled to catch her breath through her tears. "I love you." Then she started shaking her head from side to side. "But I don't want to be around you right now. I want my son. I want to be with my son...safe."
Her words were a knife through his heart. Of course she wanted to leave him. Whatever they'd had... was gone. "I understand," Taril said quietly. He swung his leg off the edge of the bed and reached for the hateful wooden leg. "I'll go. I'll arrange for someone to come to take you to Red Tide Rocks later today. Your brother can take you down to the docks to meet the boat. I'll send Dodger with what you need to know." He finished strapping on the leg and reached for his coat. "Humari... I did wrong by you. You need time, so please take as much of it as you'd like. And I'll... respect whatever you decide. But I'll still do what I can to make it right."
All she could do was close her eyes, and nod, tears still streaking down her cheeks. She couldn't say anything else to him, not yet. Not only did her body ache, but so did her heart, the pain of it worse than any of her wounds.
Last updated on the October 26th 2019