The moment the euphoria ended, Thayde was left with a cold feeling of
dread that coiled tightly in the pit of his stomach, completely
chasing away any of the pressing desire he had felt earlier. What had
he done? He blinked up at the night sky, the sand under his back
suddenly feeling coarse and uncomfortable. The realization that he and
Jalodwyn were on the beach, where any passerby could stumble upon them
in the darkness, spurred him into action as he collected his clothes
and began tugging them on.
Guilt ate at him as he sat in the sand, elbows on his knees, one hand
covering his eyes. His first and only thought was that he had broken
his wedding vows. He had never thought that he would be one of 'those
men,' the type that strayed when they had a wife waiting on them at
Jalodwyn was to involved with her own feelings of bliss to notice how
quickly Thayde had moved away from her. Nude, she stretched languidly
against the sand with a smile. It had been perfect. Feverish,
lusty, and so so good, just like it had been before. She turned her
head and was surprised to see Thayde dressed and sitting up. "Hey..."
her voice was sultry, still filled with promise. "What are you
doing? There's plenty of night left, Thayde."
"No," he said, exhaling roughly. "Jalodwyn, I'm sorry. This is my
fault, I should have walked away, I should have left...." The
dolphineer shook his head, sick with disgust for himself. "This should
not have happened. I'm married."
She immediately sat up, alarmed at his tone. "Don't you dare
apologize, Thayde. We're both wanted this and you obviously needed
it. " Her voice gentled as she reached out to stroke his back. "You
know how I feel and how I've always felt. I know how you feel about
me. This marriage of yours isn't good for you no matter why you
agreed to it. You need an outlet and I don't mind giving it to you
whenever you need me." Jalodwyn leaned over, placing her chin on his
shoulder. " Don't worry. It's not like I'm going to tell anyone. "
Thayde bristled at the thought of having a dirty little secret, but he
never wanted Enamra to find out. He closed his eyes as he remembered
their conversation about her wearing her wedding ring and her
pointedly telling him that she would always uphold her vows to him.
How ironic that he had been the one to break his. "There is not going
to be a next time, Jalodwyn. I am not trying to be rude, and I don't
want you to take it personally, but I meant my vows to Enamra and I
won't break them again."
She frowned, moving back to stare at him, feeling flickers of anger
that began to dissipate the lovely afterglow that had permeated her.
"That's whershit, Thayde. I am taking it personally. If your marriage
was going so well, you wouldn't have been so tense and you wouldn't
have needed me to take care of it with you. It's not like you shoved
me away. You wanted me. If your _wife_ was doing her duty for you and
satisfying you, that would be one thing, but she's obviously not. I
don't understand why you're doing this to yourself, especially when
you're clearly not happy. Divorce her, Thayde. Tell her that it's you
and not her. Or take me as a lover, Faranth knows I'd be fine with it.
She doesn't have to know."
There was no polite way for Thayde to tell Jalodwyn that all of the
desire and need he'd spent on her had been a product of the many
nights he had laid awake in bed holding his wife, but it was the
truth. Glancing at her in the dark now, Thayde felt zero desire to
repeat his mistake with Jalodwyn. "I will not divorce her," he said
finally, looking back to the ocean. "I love her."
It felt like a slap in the face and Jalodwyn paled before she felt a
rush of hurt anger. She rose, picking up her bathing suit. "No, you
don't. The Thayde I know wouldn't have come to another woman if he was
in love. You're feeling guilty, that's what. You're feeling guilty
because you enjoyed yourself and you feel some how beholden to someone
who probably tricked you into marrying her." She pulled on her bathing
suit with vicious gestures. "Well, guess what, if she loved you, she'd
take care of you. And I'm not on the teas, so you better get your mind
straight, Thayde." She stomped her foot, glared at him and then spun
to walk away.
Thayde's mind was left reeling by the last comment she flung at him.
She was not on her teas? Then why the blazes had she let things
progress the way they had?! He did not try to stop her as she put her
clothes on and left. He did not know what else to say to her that
would not further anger her. The last thing that Thayde wanted from
his ill-conceived coupling with Jalodwyn was for a baby to happen.
If the truth ever came out, he would have a hard enough time begging
Enamra's forgiveness, toss in making his one-night-mistress pregnant
and she might leave him.
Remembering that Jalodwyn was only at the Dolphin Hall on a trip, he sincerely
hoped that her time ended soon and that she left the Hall before anything worse happened.
She wiped her eyes as she walked away, angry, hurt and frustrated. She
loved him. He knew she loved him and he'd just used her. A sick little
part of her hoped that he had gotten her with child. Maybe then he'd
leave that wife of his and to her.
Last updated on the August 19th 2019