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Justice and Future Considered

Writers: Miriah
Date Posted: 6th August 2019

Characters: Yriadha
Description: Yriadha reflects on what’s happened while she waits
Location: Sunstone Seahold
Date: month 12, day 1 of Turn 9
Notes: Mentioned: Sophque, Bryvin, Humari, Stenlis, Danrina
Notes: Occurs after "Sunstone Justice"

Yriadha stared out at the waves on the beach, her unbound hair
streaming away from her face in the ocean’s salt sprayed wind. It had
all gone to plan and seemingly so easily done. The ship that had
carried her and Polson disguised as Stenlis had been disguised well
and the debris from the false wreckage that had been dumped was still
washing ashore. She was, of course, looking ragged, as was expected,
but the little shelter that had been provided for her lacked for
little. Even the pallet was soft, the food adequate, and the small
carafe of wine had been greatly appreciated. All she had to do now was
wait for her supposed rescue once word spread of the wreckage. A day
or two at most had been planned. The ships captain himself had
carefully deposited her on this isolated beach where it had been
arranged that she would be found. A new widow, she'd return to
Sunstone, take her place again after a suitable grieving period and
life would return to normality once again.

With regret, she thought of her friend. Sophque had been so confused
by her decision to marry Stenlis and Yriadha hadn’t been able to
explain. Sophque would be frantic with worry and the thought of
hurting her friend pained her, especially since Sophque had agreed to
watch Yavin for her ‘honeymoon’. And Humari…how was she doing? She’d
checked on her daughter with Riadem before she’d left; thank Faranth
there was improvement.

Her mind returned to what had happened with Stenlis and she clenched
her fists, then winced at the sudden sharp pain as the scabs on her
palms broke open. She felt no regrets about what she had helped do to
him. He deserved every bit of pain he’d experienced. But there was
still a residual pain deep within. She _had_ loved him once, the love
of a naïve young girl who was able to dream of happy endings. Wiping
her palm on her tattered skirt, she winced again as the remaining salt
stung the small crescent shaped wounds. She had kept her calm after,
refused to allow Polson or Bryvin how much Stenlis’s words had
affected her. But those barbs about Bryvin and what she was to him
were true.

She knew where his heart lay and it wasn’t with her. Perhaps he did
care for her, there was evidence enough for that and for Yavin to some
degree, but his heart was with Danrina. She was young and now that he
was free of Xeladrie, she knew what to expect. Danrina’s husband
wouldn’t live long, she wagered ruefully. She felt no sympathy for the
man, and felt far more for Danrina. She knew what it was to be wed to
someone not of your own choosing. There would be an accident that
would free her from the marriage and Bryvin would be the comforting
Lord Holder. Once enough time had passed for Danrina’s expected
grieving, she fully expected them to wed. There would be more
children, more heirs, he’d officially acknowledge Danrina’s first
child and that would be that. Besides that, she was getting older and
Danrina was young, lovely, and more likely to bear healthy children.
Yriadha’s days of childbearing were nearly over. A turn, perhaps two
at most.

Yriadha sat on a boulder and looked away from her hands to stare over
the ocean. If anything, Yriadha was a realist. Perhaps once she’d had
designs and grander plans for Yavin, but her fear for him had stilled
them. The threat given by Bryvin of Yavin and herself being repudiated
had been effective; it had stilled any designs she had began to form.
And since Bryvin was likely to marry Danrina, Yavin could well be a
threat to her future children. No, it would be far too easy for her
son to be discarded if his parentage was known. Bryvin wouldn’t risk a
lawful child being supplanted by a bastard and Yriadha secretly
doubted that Yavin would ever be officially acknowledged, especially
if there was a wedding to the younger woman. She and her son were well
and truly trapped, but it was a trap that she’d willfully accepted.

She accepted it because she was foolish, and her heart had decided to
awaken from a long slumber. She wanted to curse that awakening but she
couldn’t any more than she could curse herself for breathing. If she
had accepted Stenlis, despite the opportunity that he’d offered for
herself and Yavin, something inside of her would have shriveled and
died. Perhaps two turns ago, she probably would have accepted Stenlis
and everything he offered, but after what he did…she couldn’t have
stomached it. But he had been right, not that she expected more than
what she had now. She’d only ever be a very unofficial bedpartner for
Bryvin. She wasn’t of the Blood, and even if he didn’t or couldn’t
marry Danrina, Bryvin would stand gain more by courting young ladies
of the blood than he would by tying himself to her. It would be
foolish of him to even consider her.

She felt the sting of moisture in her eyes and angrily blinked it
away, mentally scolding herself. Foolish woman, to grieve an
impossibility, or to even consider it in the first place! She could
admit to herself how she felt about him, she had to else she’d go
quietly mad. But she didn’t have to outwardly acknowledge it and
Faranth knew she could never say those words to him without completely
surrendering to his force of will and power. She still had a bit of
her own, but that would disappear quickly if he knew; he would wield
the knowledge like a hammer if he felt he had to. She knew Bryvin well
enough to expect that.

No, Yriadha thought, the best course of action was to continue exactly
as she was. She was Sunstone’s Headwoman. She occasionally shared
Bryvin’s bed and kept the Hold running as it ought. Now, she was again
a widow, and of course she’d make some display of expected grief.
Then…she’d adjust and keep adjusting to the changes in the Hold. She’d
raise her son and protect him, and perhaps one day he’d know that she
was his mother and not a distant relative. Perhaps one day, she’d find
that little bit of happiness that always seemed to elude her.

Last updated on the August 13th 2019

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