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Guilty Conscience

Writers: Devin, Paula
Date Posted: 20th November 2016

Characters: A'dryn, Lenala
Description: A'dryn finally brings up an uncomfortable subject.
Location: River Bluff Weyr
Date: month 8, day 10 of Turn 8
Notes: Mentioned: A'kades, Rhosyn, Lanniya, B'jon, D'lorn

Everyone knew Lenala and A'kades were romantically involved. And
although flights weren't considered infidelity, even for committed
couples, A'dryn still felt like he should apologize. Yet he was too
embarrassed to approach her. When she walked by his table in the
dining cavern, he ducked his head.

"A'dryn," Lenala greeted with a smile, noticing him even when he was
trying to avoid her gaze. "We haven't talked in awhile. Is everything

"Yes," he lied. "I hope you and Vilarth are doing well?"

"We're doing fine," Lenala replied. If you didn't count worrying over
Rhosyn and Orlaith and being nervous about her duties as acting

"You must be very busy now." It was quite a shock what had happened.

"I am. Even when Rhosyn was pregnant or when she's grounded due
Orlaith being with eggs, she's always _here_ and I can go to her to
talk and ask for advice," Lenala replied with sigh.

A'dryn couldn't do anything about that, but he wanted to help somehow.
"Let me know if there's anything I can do to help. I was trained as an
understeward so perhaps I could assist with administrative tasks."

"Thank you, I'll remember that if I ever get swamped by the hidework,"
Lenala promised. That part never been the problem, she could the
administrative-side in her sleep. No, it was the responsibility of a
leadership that weighed on her shoulders.

The pause in their conversation was slight, but A'dryn felt the time
stretch out as guilt welled up in him again. "Weyr-- Lenala. I feel as
though I should apologize." He stared at the table. "I'm still not
used to the ways of the Weyr and I feel guilty for... sharing a flight
with A'kades."

"Oh, A'dryn, you're so sweet! You don't need to apologize for _that_.
It was your dragon's choice, not yours," Lenala replied. She did find
his gesture endearing. She hadn't even thought about that flight...or
any other Flight A'kades had taken part. She should have, she
realized, for A'dryn's sake. The boy apparently hadn't taken it well.

"I know, but the fact remains that we were... intimate." A'dryn
shifted. "This is all still very uncomfortable for me."

”Yes, I imagine it was an awkward and uncomfortable experience for
you,” Lenala said with gentle compassion. She gave his hand a
encouraging squeeze. ”I should have checked how you were doing
sooner,” she added with regret.

"And I should have spoken to you sooner, instead of letting my
embarrassment stop me." Despite their difference in rank and age,
Lenala was his friend

Lenala nodded. "You should know that I've been dragonrider so long
that one green flight is not going to upset me," she told him. "Now,
gold flight might be different thing," she gave him a wry smile.
"Golds are territorial and it bleeds to us riders too."

"Good thing Nalarith is green, then. I wouldn't want to be your competition."

"I would hate that too. It's a good thing in general that there aren't
more golds," Lenala said.

"Did you think you'd Impress gold, or was it a surprise?" Some girls
went onto the Hatching Grounds expecting a gold, some only hoped, and
others barely believed it was possible.

"I was expected to Impress a gold. Anything less wasn't good enough
for my family. But frankly, I just wanted to _Impress_ and escape my
life, to gain a freedom," Lenala answered, confessing something that
people didn't know. She had always maintained the stand that she _knew_
she was going to Impress a gold. Still, Impressing Vilarth hadn't been
a surprise.

A'dryn nodded. "I was expected to Impress bronze, or at least brown,
and... well you saw how upset my parents were." It still hurt to think
about how they'd rejected him, but if that was the price of having
Nalarith, of living without hiding, then he was glad to pay it.

"Yes, I remember that far too well. And I've seen it or something
similar far too many times. You're not only one, A'dryn. And most
importantly, you're not alone."

"I know." He smiled. "I'm very thankful to have you as a friend." He
also had Lanniya and B'jon. While A'kades wasn't exactly a friend he
was a mentor. D'lorn as well.

"Count your fortunes, not your misfortunes," Lenala quoted, a wisdom
she rarely heeded herself.

"That's good advice. I should focus on all the positive things in my
life." The most important, of course, was Nalarith.

"You do that and all will turn out for the best," Lenala said encouragingly.

Last updated on the December 28th 2016

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